BloggingDangerously

Make Your Own Luck

At one point during vacation I got a little stir crazy and decided that I - and the children - needed to get out of the house.  We went to a reservation near our house and walked 2 miles.  It WAS just what we all needed.  What we all need more of, in fact.

It was fun to walk the path - in no hurry - without cell phones or games - just holding my childrens' hands and watching them throw stones onto the pond to try to break the ice.  And to talk to them about why one part of the pond is frozen (the still part) and the other is not (where the current flows.)

And it was fun to hear their thoughts and ideas about things.

For example, at one point the path split left and right around a small tree.

My 8year old son said, "If you go to the left of the tree, you will have good luck.  But if you go to the right of the tree you will have bad luck."

Everyone headed toward the left.  Except me.

"I'm sorry." I said to him.  "But I make my own luck.  And I won't let someone else's rule determine whether or not I am lucky."

He looked at me and I was wondering if I would see disappointment in his eyes that I wasn't following along with his game.  But then he smiled and nodded and I could see that he agreed that it was silly to let someone else control you with superstition.

Of course then my 7yo daughter called out, "Mommy went to the wrong side of the tree.  Mommy's not getting lucky."

At which point I "cough*BS*cough"ed and my husband laughed.

Because he knows that I make my own luck. 

No MoJo

Y'all know that my husband and I have a great sex life for a married couple with 4 kids but the truth is that even we get into lulls and have to work to get ourselves out.

Take this weekend for example - I got home from New York on Thursday night and by Friday night I was EXHAUSTED. The kids stayed up until almost 9 and by the time we tucked them in my husband was ready for a shower and a beer and I was ready for #wineparty.

I recovered from my exhaustion apparently because an hour later I was thrown in Twitter Jail for being overly social.

I logged off and jumped into bed and feel fast asleep - so quickly that I didn't hear my husband come to bed an hour later.  

The following morning - weekend mornings are usually our sweet spot - we both slept so late (think 10ish) that when we finally looked at the clock and realized what time it was we jumped up to get some errands done.  (It didn't help that my oldest son was in trouble and had been sent to his room 'for the weekend' and was therefore 15 feet away from us.)

Saturday night we went to a party.  We got home at close to 11 and were headed to bed by midnight.  As we got into our pajamas I said to my husband, "I have to go to the bathroom." but he was in caveman mode and intentionally hip checked me into the bed so that I fell over and was lying on the bed.  I was so annoyed at being manhandled by the drunk guy that I stormed out of the room and hid in the bathroom until I heard him snoring.  I'm not sure he noticed.

I wasn't really mad but neither was I aroused by his drunken lechery.  (Although there was a time, back in my prime....)

But I digress.

Sunday morning I woke up at 8 and couldn't get back to sleep.  He was still sleeping.  I was annoyed with myself so I got up to do errands and go for a run.

I'd like to say that we refound our groove on Sunday night but did you see that PATRIOTS GAME?  Who could relax during that?!?!

So yeah... we're in a dry spell.  And that's okay, we just need to work hard to make sure it doesn't turn into a drought.

Wish us luck!

And GOOD LUCK TO YOU TOO!  (Get some!)

 

The Birds and the Bees... And by Birds I Mean Woodpeckers...

My husband is one of those annoying people who has to "unwind" before bed.  I, on the other hand, pretty much run around like the Energizer bunny all day until it's time for bed - at which time I race to the edge of the bed, jump in and crash in about 18 seconds.  

He loves that.  Especially when he's been in bed for an hour and I then I jump in and am asleep before him.  

Needless to say this puts a crimp in the nighttime "marital activity" because he's trying to unwind while I'm roaring to go OR he's waiting for me to make a pass and I've already fallen asleep.

His alternative is the mid-day maritals which NEVER works for me.  Work is busy during the day and finding time to get into the mood and then do it without the phone ringing rarely happens.

Sometimes we manage the mid-week interlude but more certainly we've mastered the art of the weekend morning.  The kids get up early and go downstairs.  This gives us time to sleep (which is priority #1) and then wake up gently and "reconnect" before we get up.

Of course I DO fear that the kids hear us bouncing around up there (much the way we hear them bouncing around after bedtime) particularly because I sometimes have to be reminded to be quiet.

So on Sunday when my 7yo asked me where babies come from and I promised to tell her at bedtime I envisioned the following exchange...

Me: "... and so, that's how babies are made."

Her: "You and Daddy DID that?"

Me: "Did it? Hell! we do it as often as we can!"

Her: look of abject horror

Thankfully when the time came to tell her, she had forgotten all about it.  I know I've only bought myself a few weeks at best but next weekend I'll try to be more quiet.

How To Be Supportive AND an Asshole At the Same Time

So I'm on the cleanse.  You want to know how it's going?  You don't?

Suffice it to say Dante was wrong, there are EIGHT levels of Hell and on this one you only get to eat cucumbers and ass vanilla flavored shakes.

Today was a "DEEP CLEANSE" day so I didn't even get to eat the cucumbers or the shakes.

And despite my insults I MISSED THEM.  Everyone keeps telling me that my tastebuds will adjust and I will come to like the shakes - yeah, like starving people like Cockroaches.

Anywho, no food today.

Except that they gave me these great "french vanilla snacks!"

The first one tasted like french vanilla Maalox.  Except I couldn't swallow it because of the gagging.

So I complained to my husband and he offered to "help."

"I have something," he began, "that would be soothing to your stomach."

Recommence gagging.

So then I reminded him, "Dude, I am LITERALLY STARVING TO DEATH, you do not want to put anything remotely resembling meat near my mouth."

 

I'm a FRACTIONAL BILLIONAIRE, Don't Threaten Me!

I'm writing this on Wednesday night about an hour before the biggest Powerball Jackpot EVER is drawn.

I have 5 tickets.  Mostly because I forgot they had doubled the price to $2.

When I came home with the tickets my husband said, "If we win, I'm going to make love to you for an HOUR!"

At which point my sensitive parts quaked and thought, "OH NO! FRICTION!"

Despite what the Viagra commercials promise, I honestly don't think that I could deal with 60 straight minutes of "attention."

I'm more of a 7-AMAZING-minutes-and-1-good-night's-sleep kind of girl.

What about you?