Tomorrow is my 40th birthday.
I'm not much for birthday angst but it's hard not to feel it when you hit 40.
Rather than look at my whole life, I try to look at the past year and ask myself - "Am I better today than I was a year ago."
Sometimes it's hard to answer yes. During most of my 30s for example - I felt like I was more out of shape, more stressed out, more financially strapped every year. It was hard to answer yes.
But then, when I took a step back, I realized that I was pregnant or nursing for most of my 30s - for 66 months in fact or 5.5 years. So while I wasn't getting in shape, or making tons of money or vacationing in Bali - am I better off for those years? For the AMAZING 4 people who live in my house (and spend all of the money I used to spend on personal trainers and travel)?
The answer is a resounding YES.
But my baby turns 5 this November. So it's back to the quantifiable things.
I'm getting in shape. In fact, Runkeeper says that since March I've run over 586 miles and burned over 50,000 calories. Whoo-hoo. Not bad for an old woman.
I'm travelling. Ok, it's not Bali but I was back in San Diego (where I used to live) for the first time in 12 years this month - and I'm going back again in 2 weeks! And I am going to use all these frequent flyer miles to take the family someplace fun. We'll even need passports.
I quit my old dead-end job. Okay, that happened last year and so far it really hasn't paid off like I'd hoped. But it's coming. I think. Or it's not. And that's okay. Because leaving a REALLY stable-but-sucky job after 12 years was REALLY brave. And since I did it? I could do it again - if I had to.
But if I don't have to because I'm making BAJILLION$ of dollars? Well, that would be pretty cool too.
And watching these 4 people grow up - teaching that baby boy who taught me how to be a mama - teaching him to be a man? He'll turn 19 the same month I'll turn 50.
So these next ten years? I have to hold on to them.
Because I'm not getting any younger.
I need more of a "lift" and less of a "job". I'd still like to run or jog without beating myself to death. But that's just me.
From Suzanne:
When I was a flat chested teen and requested a boob job, my dad said "We'll just do one and see how you like it" I declined.
From Jennifer:
Mine point northeast and southwest. Guess I need to find a guy with a lazy eye.
From Kat:
What did one boob say to the other? If we don't get some support around here, people are going to start thinking we are nuts! mwahahahahahaha
There are tons of other hilarious comments but DH just went to bed and he's pretty pissed at all of you right now that I'm not with him.
So let's make this quick...
I realized as the comments started coming in that I didn't say whether you should comment on the "Giveaway post" or the "Midget post" so I counted up the comments in both and then used Random.org to choose a winner.
The winner is #264 Kate:
I've never been to #wineparty (because I'm not on Twitter) but I love your blog! I would also love an ipad!
Congratulations Kate! And THANKS to everyone who entered!