BloggingDangerously

Dangerous Letters, Vol. 28

I want to start by saying a HUGE THANK YOU to all of you who have been so supportive of my job search over the past few weeks.  I'd gotten to the point where I felt like my family and friends were sick of hearing about it but you were all so fantastic that you kept asking how it was going even when I was sick of hearing MYSELF talk about it.

I should get some good news today (hopefully.)  This makes me happy for two reasons: the first, obviously is that the long search will be behind me.  The second is that my company has just announced that it will be laying off 20% of my office (5 out of 25.)  If I can volunteer to be one of them it will save a job for someone else. 

Traveling to Texas this week exhausted me.  Between soccer and football, travel, and illness we haven't been able to sleep in on the weekends in over a month and it's taking it's toll.  My husband and I are both exhausted.  I've had a headache for 3 days.  But it's a 3 day weekend and soccer is cancelled, football isn't until 2, no one is sick (knock on wood) and we have NO plans - except #wineparty and sleeping.  Doesn't that sound like HEAVEN?

Without further ado...

On the post, Writing Assignment: The Interview Edition:

Good luck today, you'll rock that interview!!

my most embarrassing moment ... it was the summer that I turned 13, so I was already in that omg everything is weird teenage phase ... I went with my mom to the video store ... once we got inside, she went one way, I went the other towards the very back of the store ... I found a movie and decided to run across the store (it was open in the middle with all the shelves along the walls) to show my mom ... she could hear me running, said later it sounded like a herd of cows (thanks mom) and looked out from behind the shelf she was viewing ... just as she popped her head out I tripped over my flip flop and went flying ... now THAT sounded like a herd of cows crashing into a fence ... the movie went sliding across the floor ... I got up and walked out of the store ... my mom was standing there laughing her ass off ... I went and sat on the bumper of the truck waiting for her and hiding from whoever was in the video store during my crash landing ... every time I think about that moment I still get all flustered

if my life were made into a hollywood movie, I'd like Emma Stone (as she was in the House Bunny movie, post makeover kicking Shelly out) to play me ... the geek with the inner hottie trying to find my way ;o)

signed, getcha

Kit: My most embarassing moment came in 6th grade library.  I had hit puberty and thought I was so STRONG.  I challenged the most popular boy in my class to an arm wrestling contest.  (I may have had a HUGE crush on him.)  We arm wrestled.  He won but I was trying so hard that when he finally pushed my arm down on the table I farted.  Out Loud.  In 6th grade.  He laughed hysterically.  When he caught his breath he told EVERYONE.  I've never had another arm wrestling contest.

Can you also please check out thiscomment?  It was hilarious but too long to repost.

On the post, The Crazy In My Head: The Husband Edition:

Aw. May the only electrical sounding buzz you hear be Carmen and each other.

Happy Anniversary!

signed, Shannon.

Kit: AMEN.

On the post, Is that an Armadillo in Your Pocket?:

Amarillo is a bad place for tires. I had my share of vehicular misfortune there when the entire driver's side front wheel flew off my truck. It was Thanksgiving weekend. We were stuck in Amarillo for days. It snowed, and I was all, "WTF?! Snow in Texas?"

signed, Buzzvibe

Kit: A friend of mine in college was from Amarillo.  It's nowhere near as nice as he said.  At least not the truckstop off of I40.

On the post, Sex Homework A-:

I didn't designate a word, but every time I cook supper my husband makes sure to grope and grind. He says my hands are full so I can't stop him!

signed, Tracy

Kit: Mine says the same thing.  And then when I grope him back he says, "You don't do that enough." 

On the post, Reunion Sex:

Nothing like a little distance that makes the heart go pitter patter... A MAN can never resist a woman that is hot for him..Wa hoo! Good for U!

signed, One Cluttered Brain

Kit: It's true isn't it?  If a woman is feeling hot and horny it doesn't matter if the man has recently lost a limb, he's in.  I love that.  I hate taking no for an answer. ;)

Thanks again for the tremendous support this week.  See you next week.  I'll be the well rested one!

If you have a chance to join #wineparty tonight (9pm eastern) on Twitter I'll be the exhausted drunk girl (hopefully) celebrating her new job!

Love,

Kit

Dangerous Letters, Vol. 27

Lots going on here this week at Blogging Dangerously.  First, I signed off last Friday night from #wineparty at 11:45pm EXHAUSTED and ready for bed.  You're probably thinking I'm going to launch into a sex story and GOOD GOD do I wish you were right. But no.

I went in to check the kids before bed and my son had a fever of 104.5.  My husband and I agreed that he needed to go to the ER IMMEDIATELY.  Until I realized that my husband had been drinking excessively and I was going to have to take him AND that it was the same ER I'd been to back in June where they had ZERO sense of urgency and even less knowledge of female anatomy (not that my son is female of course, I'm just still pissed off.)

Anyway, at that point I was a big fan of dosing him with Tylenol and giving it a few minutes.

My husband, king of the ER in his younger days insisted that we go IMMEDIATELY.  So we did.

At this point I'd like to say, "EFF YOU" to all of you #wineparty denizens who kept me up late last Friday because the PEDIATRIC ER closed 15 minutes before we got there.  If I'd shut down #wineparty at 11, as usual, I would have been in and out like an18 year old boy doing 'it' for the first time on the floor of my parents' livingroom when we were supposed to be at school practicing for graduation...

But I digress.

ER Arrival time 12:30am.  Oh, did I mention that it was FRIDAY night AND a Full moon.  Hey all you nurses, STOP LAUGHING.

They took my son's fever when we got there - 100.6.  The ER was PACKED.  FULL.  We could barely get a seat.  Outside it looked like a carnival with the constant arrival of Ambulances with lights ablaze.

And we waited.  They called us into Triage at 3:30am.  The nurse took my son's temperature - 100.6 still.  She looked in his throat, "It's VERY red." she said.  She did a RAPID STREP test.  "The results will be back in 45 minutes." she said.

NOTE TO THAT NURSE: At the doctor's office the results are back in 2 minutes.  That's why they call it RAPID.

"Can you look in his ears?" I asked because I thought it was an ear infection.

"No." she said.  "I'm a nurse. I can't do that. You'll have to see a provider."

"Huh."

So I asked her how long it would be before we would see a doctor.

"It's going to be a WHILE." she said, gesturing toward the ambulances.

So I made a maternal decision that my son most likely did NOT have meningitis, that he needed sleep more than he needed to sit in that waiting room for 2 more hours, and that we could call in the morning for the strep results.  And we left.

Back in bed at 4am.

I took my daughter to soccer at 9:30.  My husband called at 10 to tell me that the hospital called and that it was strep and they called a prescription in to the pharmacy.  We picked it up on the way home.  I showered and changed and went to a wedding shower in Boston.  Came home and SLEPT.

Got up Sunday for a family reunion and a neighborhood block party.  Crazy fun but I'm slightly sleep deprived!

Anyway, I was also obsessing all weekend over the job interviews I'd had and the lack of followup by both companies.  Monday I was contacted by one of them to arrange a flight halfway across the country this coming Monday for an interview!  Tuesday I was contacted by the OTHER for a 3rd phone interview this coming Tuesday!  Hooray.

The first company made me take a personality test.  The results came back as a compulsive over achiever with a fierce independent streak and bossy pants tendencies.  This wouldn't be terrible because it's a sales position except that the test STRONGLY hinted that I am NOT a people person. 

I could refute this by pointing to my 7500+ followers on Twitter except for a couple of things: 1) I'm anonymous and none of you even know my name, 2) I can't tell them and REMAIN anonymous, 3) I've bitched about them and 4) ALL THE SEX.

Fuck.  I guess I'm not that much of a PLANNER either.

Oh well, interviews Monday and Tuesday, WISH ME LUCK. 

The OVERWHELMING RESPONSE last week was that people like the comment recap - and so do I - so here goes...

On the post, Ten Things That Have Made Me Laugh Lately:

after running a half marathon this weekend, i realized this is the least sexy my girlfriend have ever felt with our private parts covered in vaseline

signed, furiousball

Kit: I thought of this comment the other night after my son's football game when he said, "I think I'm chafed around my cup" and I said, "We'll put some vaseline on it." and he asked, "What's vaseline?" and I thought, "Oh, you have SO MUCH to learn."

I might be married with a kid... but I still love hotel sex!

signed, Mrs MidAtlantic

Kit: Hm, I'm going to be staying in a hotel Sunday night - alone.  I could bring Carmen but I wasn't planning to check my bag and I think "bullets" are specifically prohibited on aircraft.  I'd hate to miss the interview because I was being strip searched by Homeland Security.  I think.

On the post, Dear Mr. Hiring Manager:

just like a man. they act all interested and then never call. typical.

good luck!

signed, andygirl

Kit: And I, like a typical woman, forgave him the minute my phone rang. 

On the post, G-Spot, The Unexplained Injury Report:

if you're gonna break something, it should be during sex. at least then you know it was worth it.

I've yet to have a sex injury. well, beyond rug burns or too much sex thighs (we all know about those). but a girl can only hope.

signed, andygirl

Kit: Too Much Sex Thighs?  Sounds like you need to limber up. ;)

On the post, Division of Labor:

By Saturday, we'll have been apart for 10 days. I plan to get me some Saturday night, Sunday night and possibly some Monday afternoon delight.

signed, AllisonK

Kit: AllisonK, you are a girl after my own heart!

On the post, Subliminal Message - he's trying to kill me:

Oh. My. God. Your husband sounds like mine! O.o I thought I married the only crazy-planning-for-Armageddon man in the world! No one else I know plans like this.

As we don't have children, we have extra masks. If Armageddon comes and your children haven't grown into your mask, you can have one of ours. *nod*

signed, Emeralde

Kit: When I told my husband about your comment he was so excited to find another person as crazy as he is that I was frightened.  He asked me where you lived and I had to admit that I didn't know - which really makes your offer for the extra gas mask a little bit hollow.  Thanks a lot.

That is funny. We have nothing for just in case. But i have been watching lost (currently on season 3) and sortof feel like i should put together at least a small emergency kit. Probably won't buy gas masks though.

signed, Jennifer

Kit: Funny thing Jennifer is that I used to work in Downtown Boston and one day these boxes showed up and they distributed gas masks to everyone and we put them on our desk and then a while later they collected them back.  And now I'm thinking, What the fuck kind of credible threat was going on where you just go, "Hey, I know, let's give them GAS MASKS!"  Also, I could have saved a ton of money if I'd collected those.  Finally, they never let us open them, what if they didn't fit? Assholes.

On the post, Devoir: Like Water for Chocolate:

So my husband is going to think of sex every time I say "Halloween?" With skin or without?

signed, TheNextMartha

Kit: Skinless has fewer calories.

Thanks for the comments everyone, sometimes sitting in my office alone, long after everyone else has gone to bed,  trying to come up with something to say can be lonely.  The comments and Twitter messages really are motivating.

Thanks for all of the well wishes regarding the job search.  I know I wouldn't have made it this far without your encouragement helping me get off Twitter and polish my resume.  The search isn't over but I feel like I'm close and I want to give credit where it is due.

So thank you.

One more exciting announcement, in a couple of weeks we'll be doing and actual WINETASTING at #WINEPARTY - with a real sommelier and EVERYTHING.  Details to follow but I want you to start practicing tomorrow night keeping your finger in the air when you drink.  It's important.

Love,

Kit

 

Dangerous Letters, Vol. 26

So, I kind of suck.  And not in the good way either (so don't you boys go getting all excited.)

I started these weekly recaps 26 weeks ago to highlight the best comments that I got and then I realized that I'm virtually brain dead on Fridays and I stopped.  But that's not really fair because the comments are the best part of my blog so you should DEFINITELY get to read them.

Also, reprinting the comments here gives me a chance to respond to them (because I'm apparently not smart enough to figure out the "Reply to comment" feature in my blogging application.)

But I don't want to do it if you don't want to see it so how about a little feedback?  Would you mind leaving  a comment letting me know if you like to see the post recap and the best comments or if you couldn't care less about comments and just want a regular old post on Fridays?

Thanks!

On the post, The Burning Bed:

So awesome. My husband still maintains, that he doesn't "take care of himself." Lol, whatever helps you sleep at night, dude.

signed, Bree

Kit: He is totally LYING.

In this house, if one person says they're gonna take care of it themselves, the other one absolutely goes in WITH them, to either watch or help. Very few things are hotter to me. Yowza.

signed, Serene

Kit: My husband almost always gives me the right of first refusal, but if I'm not in the mood it's HIGHLY UNLIKELY that the appearance of Mr. UGLY is going to change my mind.  There's a reason that Playgirl should be called Playgay - I dont know many women who think penises are attractive.

On the post, Writing Assignment, One Liners:

My husband was joking around one day and told me he had 'the decision-making penis'. I told him "Yeah, well I have the veto-vagina". He didn't have a comeback to that.

signed, Stef

Kit: This is absolutely perfect because it's SO true.

Inappropriate alert!

I may or may not have heard when out this weekend someone say:
"He's not all that but I'd still put my thighs on his sideburns."

DEAD!

signed, Jen

Kit: I love the visual!

On the post, Why I hate Gin...:

I don't like gin because it makes my pants fall down in airports and during PTA meetings and waiting in line at the DMV... and church.

signed, Furiousball

Kit: exactly, gin is evil.

Nothing smells worse than gin puke. FACT.

signed, Miss Tricky

Kit: Did you know that scent is the strongest sense tied to memory?? Well it is! And the last thing I needed was the reminder about the smell!  Just reading that brought it all back and I almost hurled again!

honey, that's the kind of story that should dismiss you from all kinds of things. spare ribs. red shiny probes. family events.

and gin is nasty.

signed, andygirl

Kit: And Ah-so sauce.  Seriously?  That stuff is GROSS even when I haven't obliterated the lining of my stomach.  Just the thought of Ah-so sauce on a greasy spare rib... ugh...

On the post, Homework: D-:

Ha, yes Kit, I've made that "remember" mistake, but I didn't have to be told that I was remembering something from another life. I knew it the moment the word left my lips. Where's that magical two-second reset button when you need it? Ray

signed, Ray

Kit: Ray, it takes a strong man to admit his mistakes!

ew no? did he think you meant the ben gay? because the KY warming is awesome!

signed, andygirl

Kit: Honey, your comment made me EXTRA sad because my LIFE PARTNER is all NO WAY on the KY.  Of course, I AM very persuasive, especially when Mr. Ugly is on the scene.  And if all else fails Carmen is pretty openminded.

On the post, Rats:

My girlfriends says I used to do that when I was teaching high school. 'Course I used to drink a lot in those days, too. So, I don't know whether it was the kids or the booze.

signed, Fred Miller

Kit: My husband is a stay at home dad - maybe that explains the dream of being chased by small dirty creatures, unable to get away.  Thanks for clearing this up.  You've saved us years of therapy!  I'll let him know that booze helps.

So, that's all folks.  As usual, thanks for reading.  This was a long week for me but lots of good things happened so it was worth the slog.  I should get some good news on the job search progress today so I plan to be blowing off steam AND celebrating tonight at #wineparty.  BEWARE!

Have a great weekend and don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Love,

Kit

Dangerous Letters, Vol. 25

I can't believe it's been 25 weeks since I started this blog.  Thank you all for reading!

I can't believe after all the TALK I heard last week that I only got TWO comments on the Sex homework!!  Really?  We had more HAIKUs than people who did the homework?  Sad, sad, sad. ;)

In honor of back to school week, and because I have an interview this morning and need to prepare for it I'm going to leave you with something my son said to me last weekend...

We were boogie boarding at the beach - the last waves of summer - and I crowed, "Let me show you how it's done!"

He looked at me, threw his head back and laughed and said, "I don't need showing, I make my own rules!"

May you all live like an 8 year old boy this weekend - and PLAY BY YOUR OWN RULES!

See you later at #wineparty.  I'll be the drunk girl with her fingers crossed for this job.

Wish me luck.

Love,

Kit

Dangerous Letters, Vol 24.

A few months ago I told you about my friend L- who almost KILLED me in her car.

I called her Tuesday afternoon and we spoke for a minute and then she said that she had to go because she was going to a wake.  We'd been speaking while she was driving to the wake and as we were hanging up I heard her say hello to the doorman.  I'm telling you this because I feel partly responsible for what happened next...

She walked into the wake, approached the kneeler in front of the casket and knelt to pray.  Then she heard a loud *CLUNK* and felt something on her head.

She reached up to hear head and realized that her GINORMOUS Jackie Kennedy sunglasses were missing.  She looked up to see them perched on top of the rosary in the poor dead woman's cold, clenched hands.

Horrified, she reached out, grabbed the sunglasses out of the hands of the dead woman and moved along to the receiving line.

It's like a Seinfeld skit!

So my week is going better than that.

There is still the issue that I cannot speak of and work is a bit crazy but I had a great interview on Monday at a great company so things are looking up!  Keep your fingers crossed for me.

I hope you have tons of fun doing yesterday's homework.  I expect a full report on Monday.  I hope to see you tonight at #wineparty.  I'll be there with bells on unless EARL crashes the party!

Love,

Kit