This is Why He Can't Have Nice Things

My husband occassionally complains that he doesn't get more head.

At these times I remind him that somewhere around his 37th birthday he went from being a super sex machine to being a one-a-day guy.  AND then I argue that if I am able to choose the way in which he spends his one, I am not going to choose the way that least benefits me.

At which point he nods reluctantly and grumbles about how there's no reason we couldn't START that way.

So Saturday night, after my half marathon was cancelled, I found myself with some extra time on my hands.

We started the way he wanted but after a few minutes it became clear that he was perfectly willing to let things continue this way indefinitely.  So I reminded him sweetly, "if it ends this way, it's your last.one.ever."

"Ok, ok" he said.  We transitioned to something more mutually beneficial.

But about 30 seconds in he warned me, "I'm already there."

So I told him, "THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!"

Luckily his laughter slowed things down enough that I managed to catch up and pass him.