So the truth is that I dont know any of you in real life - and honestly, that's on me. This anonymous thing is my cross - one I feel I can't put down - even though I've met some truly amazing people here.
So while I have a number of Facebook Friends, the truth is that I've never had coffee with them and I'm certainly not up to speed on what's happening in the rest of their social circle.
But today a "friend" of mine shared a status that made my stomach sink, made my heart race, made my palms sweat.
"Friends," it began, "The doctors told us today that our baby girl died of chronic liver damage."
I would not list empathy as one of my top 3 qualities, in truth it may not make the top 10, but what parent can read that sentence and not pause in empathetic grief?
So when the next sentence explained that their DOG suffered liver damage from eating a poisonous plant I was both THRILLED that no child had died and still sorry for their loss.
But I have to admit that my sadness at their loss WAS mitigated by the fact that I felt like I had been emotionally SWINDLED.
Of course, it's totally my fault because it was a post by someone I dont know, shared by someone I dont know but WOW did it knock my socks off.
How about you? Have you ever taken a social media post out of context?
bigger mind eff she refers to her dog as a baby girl.
Posted by: Thehappieannie | April 26, 2013 at 09:04 AM
I have a close family friend who recently retired as a career firefighter from the Union Township (NJ) fire department. Early in his career, he rushed into a burning building because the homeowner said "my baby - my baby is inside."
It was the dog. And the dog was safe.
The losing of a pet is horrible - it really is. But it is not on the level of losing a child, or a friend.
This family friend, to this day, is jaded, and will ask people if they're talking about a real person whenever he's not entirely sure if someone is talking about a pet or a child.
Posted by: DaddyRunsALot | April 26, 2013 at 09:05 AM
Is there a chance that this person is legitimately grieving? Maybe she put this out there on the Internet for support from her friends, not for the shock value or to manipulate people's feelings. I don't think she meant to swindle you in any way.
Admittedly, I don't have children, but in general I try not to minimize someone's grief, whatever the cause. I feel there shouldn't be a hierarchy of grief, where it's socially acceptable to be sad about X, or Y, but if it's Z, you should count yourself lucky that it wasn't the first two because those are way worse. It doesn't make the loss any easier.
Anyways, I'm not trying to be a troll or anything, I promise. I just don't think your fb friend was trying to pull one over on you.
Posted by: Lindsay | April 26, 2013 at 08:11 PM
Yeah, that's effed up, I agree.
I have not had that experience, but I hate those half-info posts like, "I can't believe it!" Or "What a day." It makes me feel both out of the loop because I have no idea what specifically happened and in on something potentially biggish. If only I knew what the eff was going on!? Since the person and I aren't close enough to know these things about each other in real life, I usually just let it go. But every once in a while, I'm like...uh...what happened? And then they are like, "I was out of milk and it bummed me out this morning."
Posted by: Julie Gerstenblatt | April 27, 2013 at 07:52 AM
I have a puppy (well, he's 2) that I love more than a lot of things in this world.. Sometimes, I refer to him as my baby - but, that's rare.
He's a huge part of our lives, but he is still a dog. Not 'just' a dog.. but a dog. He has a special part of our family, but he's not my child. I'm one of those pet owners who doesn't understand calling yourself 'mom' and 'dad' to your pet.. When I send the dog looking for my husband I refer to my husband by name. I refer to us as the dog's owners.. I refuse to call my dog a 'big brother' to the real life baby that will be arriving in November.. He might be his or her best friend, but not a brother...
I think that the Facebook comment was misleading - but maybe not intentionally so? Esp if it's someone you don't know well, so you may not have known that's how she refers to her pet?
But honestly, I would have thought the same thing within seconds of reading it.
Posted by: mrs.d | April 30, 2013 at 12:30 PM
Sorry to repost - but I love @Julie's comment haha..
That's one of my big pet peeves too.. I have a cousin of my husband's that does that all the time..
"Worst day ever!!!"
And when people ask what happened.. it's usually something like, "I forgot my wallet at home and didn't notice until I was already in the drive thru"...
Some people just need to be dramatic - I refuse to ask or engage that type of behavior lol.
Posted by: mrs.d | April 30, 2013 at 12:33 PM