Shtuff I Come Up With When I'm Jacked Up On Carbs

Last month I had this great idea for a new invention - it's a bar code scanner that you can use in your home.  You walk around your house scanning items that you purchased previously and the scanner magically turns those items back into the money you paid for them.

So, that GORGEOUS outfit you HAD TO HAVE that you now realize is for a 24 year old, not a 42 year old? SCANNED.

That expensive "color treated hair" shampoo that turned your hair green? SCANNED.

That 6 year old TREADMILL with 8 miles, 3 seasons worth of clothing and an inch of dust on it? SCANNED.

TONIGHT, while I was buttering two pieces of bread that I definitely didn't need to be eating at 10:30pm I realized that I could take my magic scanner to the next level.

Now you can actually scan a body part and have the "extra skin" as my daughters call it turned back into the food that created it.

Arm flab? Poof! CUPCAKES

Junk in the trunk? Poof! Bacon Double Cheeseburger

Muffin top? Poof! MUFFIN TOP!

Can you imagine what this invention will mean?  I'll be thin AND rich!

Which invention would you prefer?  And what would you scan first?

Comments

[Killian]

The body part. My lower ab apron, courtesy of 3 pregnancies and 3 (unrelated) abdominal surgeries.

[joeinvegas]

Muffin top. Yes, unfortunately, I love muffins

[Chrisor]

I'll take one of each please! BTW, you're a genius. ;-)

[DaddyRunsALot]

I'm actually doing ok in the body department these days, so I'll take the money scanner :-)

[TechyDad]

Knowing me, I'd zap my tummy flab back into chocolate bars... and then eat the chocolate bars again.

Wait a second... Infinite Chocolate!

Make this app now!!! ;-)

[Magnolia Ripkin]

I would use that bad boy on my ass and turn it back into so many cadbury mini eggs I could fill my garage with them. And then I would live in my garage, until it was empty again.
I love your scanner... I must have it.