I took my 7yo to a birthday party on Sunday. It was at a place she's been to at least 10 times but when it was time for me to leave she started to cry.
"Don't be silly." I told her.
She nodded.
For the next 20 minutes I explained to her that she was choosing to focus on her fear and not on the fun she could be having. I told her to look at me and say, "I'm going to have a GREAT TIME!" and mean it.
Eventually she mustered enough enthusiasm that I left. The other mothers told me that she was fine when I was gone.
It's no big deal - this is just one of those lessons that my daughter will learn - but tonight I had the same conversation with my brother about someone else in our family.
This person will play solitaire on their computer for 6 hours rather than walk down the street to the K of C where there is a weekly card night.
People, I know it's scary to be brave - that's sort of the definition - but don't miss out on the fun by focusing on the Fear.
So true. Great advice.
Posted by: One Funny Motha | January 11, 2013 at 09:36 AM
I have a "friend" (quotes necessary) who loves playing online poker. I offered a poker night, just to see if I could get him out of his shell, just a little bit -- it was like I personally insulted him.
Some people . . . they're just violently not people persons.
I'm glad you're encouraging your kids to leave their comfort zone when it's necessary.
Posted by: DaddyRunsALot | January 11, 2013 at 10:09 AM
Read this today. I needed it..... “Courage is a self-inflicted quality that gains momentum every time you try it.” – Jeffrey Gitomer
Posted by: Katybeth | January 11, 2013 at 03:55 PM
Introverts≠violently not people persons
I will give the benefit of the doubt since both Kit and DaddyRunsALot seem to have good intentions behind their actions, but both seem to have extrovert perspectives that are unfair to someone who MAY be an introvert. Which is not to say that introverts don't sometimes need and enjoy human interaction, we do. We just don't enjoy for as many things to be social activities, as say an extrovert would. We especially don't appreciate people implying there's something wrong with us because we so often prefer to be alone. Or that there is a need to "exit our shell" because of our preferences. Or that we're violently not "people persons" because we enjoy solitary activities remaining solitary.
This could all be inapplicable to the people being written about, after all shyness≠introversion. But I do think it's applicable to the judgmental, if well-meaning, extroverted perspectives above.
Posted by: Karen | January 19, 2013 at 09:01 PM