BloggingDangerously

PARENTING 101

I took my 7yo to a birthday party on Sunday.  It was at a place she's been to at least 10 times but when it was time for me to leave she started to cry.

"Don't be silly." I told her.

She nodded.

For the next 20 minutes I explained to her that she was choosing to focus on her fear and not on the fun she could be having.  I told her to look at me and say, "I'm going to have a GREAT TIME!" and mean it.

Eventually she mustered enough enthusiasm that I left.  The other mothers told me that she was fine when I was gone.

It's no big deal - this is just one of those lessons that my daughter will learn - but tonight I had the same conversation with my brother about someone else in our family.

This person will play solitaire on their computer for 6 hours rather than walk down the street to the K of C where there is a weekly card night.

People, I know it's scary to be brave - that's sort of the definition - but don't miss out on the fun by focusing on the Fear.

 

It Hurts More When I Agree With Him

Last week we went to visit my in-laws for the day.  I actually like my in-laws so it was fun.  The only down side is that my mother-in-law FINALLY remembered that I am a Diet Coke addict - 30 days after I kicked the habit so that's pretty much all she had to drink - except for plain water.

I ended up alternating between Diet Coke and water all day but still managed to polish off a 1 liter bottle (which in the old days would have been BREAKFAST.)

I wasnt jittery or twitchy like I was afraid but at 2am when I was still awake I realized that maybe my body wasn't the caffeine processing factory that it used to be.

My husband was also awake - he'd found a bottle of Coke and made the same mistake I had.

I made a pass at him.  He turned me down flat.

BAH! I thought cruelly.

"No worries." I said, sweetly.

I slipped out of bed, tiptoed silently to my suitcase and grabbed Siri.

She and I were SILENT - but the bed may have trembled a bit.

He rolled over, "Are you???? Argh!"

He tried to roll away but the gravitational pull of a naked woman with a vibrator was too much for him and before long he was participating.

When it was over I told him, "I don't know why you don't always just agree with me."

 

"I'd Totally Shoot. I'm a Mom."

A few weeks ago a friend of mine on Twitter said that you shouldn't arm your self with a gun unless you were prepared to use it.  I replied, "I'd totally shoot.  I'm a Mom." referring to the lengths I would go to to protect my children.  But the truth is I'd never been in a situation where it was a real possibility.

Last weekend my husband drove two hours west to go shooting with a friend of his.  He intended to take the revolver that I bought this summer so that his friend's wife could shoot it but I asked him not to because I wanted to sleep with it nearby since I was going to be alone.

After he got to his friend's house my husband called to say good night and then I took the kids upstairs to go to bed.  At this point my gun was still unloaded and locked up.

My younger son (8) asked me to go downstairs to get something with him so I did.  As we went back upstairs he turned around, pushed past me, unlocked the front door to my house and opened it and said, "I just saw Daddy outside."

Realizing that my husband was 100 miles away and that any man who was close enough to the house to be seen was WAY TOO CLOSE, I grabbed my son, WHIPPED him back inside, slammed the door, locked it and said, "YOU NEVER, EVER, OPEN THE DOOR to a STRANGE MAN WHEN DADDY ISN'T HOME."

"But it WAS Daddy." he told me.

"Daddy is two hours away." I told him. My heart RACING. "If there is a man outside, it is probably NOT someone that you want to open the door for."

Suddenly he understood and started crying.

I hugged him and said, "I'm sure there was no one there - you probably saw someone walking on the street, or your own reflection in the window."

He didn't believe me.  I wasn't sure I did either.

We went upstairs.

"Brush your teeth." I told him.

While the kids brushed their teeth and got into bed I unlocked my gun, loaded it, and put it in a holster in my waistband.

I put my phone in my pocket and went downstairs to triple check every door lock in the house.

They were all locked - including the door to the basement.  I could tell by the light coming under the door that the basement light was still on.  But there were two doors in the basement that led outside.  Screw it. I left the light on and didn't open the door.  

I shut off all the downstairs lights and went upstairs.  I pulled the shade in my office.  I tucked all of the kids into bed - 3 times - reassured my son that he hadn't seen anything, then sat at Twitter for the next 3 hours with my heart racing at every little sound and feeling the reassuring bulge of the .38 in my pants.

I thought about what I would do if someone broke in while I was home alone with the kids.  What would I do?  My natural reaction would be to hesitate.  I told myself as I sat there, "DO NOT HESITATE."

Anyone who breaks into a home with 5 people in it on a 13 degree night in late December is not someone you want to hang out with - so don't try to talk it out.

OBVIOUSLY - LUCKILY - Nothing happened but I'll tell you this.  I was prepared to do what I had to if something did happen - and I'm glad the reassuring bulge in my pants was a gun and not a phone.

 

Sisterly Wisdom

My daughters are 7 and 6 and we are trying - despite the broad world's best efforts - to keep them young as long as possible.

OF COURSE, they already know the difference between skinny and fat - and if you ask them they would MUCH prefer to be skinny.  And all I can do is remind them that it's more important to be fit than to be skinny so by all means, run and jump and play and yes, EAT THE ICECREAM.

They love music and while I try to censor what they listen to, every once in a while something slips through.

The other day we were listening to country music and Shania Twain's, "Party for One" came on the radio.

My youngest (6) gasped and said, "Did she just say SEXY?"

My oldest (7), nodded sagely and said, "Yes.  Grownups can make bad decisions."

 

Make Your Own Luck

At one point during vacation I got a little stir crazy and decided that I - and the children - needed to get out of the house.  We went to a reservation near our house and walked 2 miles.  It WAS just what we all needed.  What we all need more of, in fact.

It was fun to walk the path - in no hurry - without cell phones or games - just holding my childrens' hands and watching them throw stones onto the pond to try to break the ice.  And to talk to them about why one part of the pond is frozen (the still part) and the other is not (where the current flows.)

And it was fun to hear their thoughts and ideas about things.

For example, at one point the path split left and right around a small tree.

My 8year old son said, "If you go to the left of the tree, you will have good luck.  But if you go to the right of the tree you will have bad luck."

Everyone headed toward the left.  Except me.

"I'm sorry." I said to him.  "But I make my own luck.  And I won't let someone else's rule determine whether or not I am lucky."

He looked at me and I was wondering if I would see disappointment in his eyes that I wasn't following along with his game.  But then he smiled and nodded and I could see that he agreed that it was silly to let someone else control you with superstition.

Of course then my 7yo daughter called out, "Mommy went to the wrong side of the tree.  Mommy's not getting lucky."

At which point I "cough*BS*cough"ed and my husband laughed.

Because he knows that I make my own luck.