BloggingDangerously

The Diet That Changed Me...

Remember the cleanse I started in an effort to lose these last 10 pounds once and for all?!? Remember I said I needed to do something drastic because when I "go on a diet" it only works for about 4 days and then I gain weight and am a complete and total bitch?

Well, here's what happened this time.

It worked for the first 7 days and then I gained it all back and was a complete and total bitch.

SHOCKER.

I was going to stick with it until the end because I'd paid for it but when my husband sat me down and said, "Are you okay?  Because you seem like you've been miserable for 3 weeks..." And I snapped back, "I'M FUCKING HUNGRY" - I knew it was time to change something.

The diet wasn't working.  I'd gained back all the weight I'd lost in the first 7 days and I wasn't cheating or eating anything I wasn't supposed to eat.  I even went out to dinner with the two women who had introduced me to the diet and they CHEATED and had meat, cheese, alcohol and bread while I had a dry salad.  And they were losing weight and I was not.

So I took a step back and said, "Something is wrong." And it obviously was.  

The first thing I did was look at when the diet stopped working for me - it was following the two day fast.  2 days of running 6 miles per day and eating nothing and I gained 3 pounds.

My body doesn't like fasting.  My body doesn't like dieting either.  I have a VERY LOW tolerance for sudden (or even gradual) drops in my caloric intake and my body rapidly adjusts my metabolism to store fat in these situations.  Not good for dieting.

In fact, there have been two times in my life where I was very successful at dieting - the first was in my 20s when I started dating a new guy.  I was eating 2 bagels for breakfast (Bruegger's bagels - the 400 calorie EACH type) and having a Mexican chicken Burrito (in San Diego) for lunch.  Then after work I was running 6-8 miles/day and going home for a snack before I headed to my boyfriends house where I mostly SKIPPED dinner.

If you look at it I was EASILY eating 1600+ calories/day but I was totally front loading them.

The same thing happened after my 4th child was born.  I did weight watchers and I was so hungry early in the day that all I would have left for dinner points would be chicken and vegetables and a quarter cup of rice.  And of course I was nursing all night.

I've known that I needed this "reverse diet" for a while - front load the calories to keep my metabolism up and then sleep through the misery of hunger but since I've been married and had children I haven't wanted to skip dinner - plus "skipping dinner" feels like the deprivation that usually torpedos my strongest resolve.

But this diet taught me a few things.  It taught me that I can live without Diet Coke.  (I've had exactly 2 in the last 3 weeks - one per day for the past 2 days.)  And it taught me that Diet Coke is not the thing that's sabotaging my diet efforts.  It taught me that I can live without most carbs (although I am a big fan of whole grain bread and pasta now.)  But I dont really think it matters if I do or not. (Remember the two bagels?)

And it taught me that I can live without potato chips.  I haven't had one in 3 weeks.

Of course we made Christmas cookies on Sunday and I MAY have eaten some of those.

And a FIVE GUYS burger.  

But all I had for dinner was baby lettuce and cucumber.

And I lost a pound.

Today I ate whatever I wanted.  Then I ran 6 miles.  And then I had lettuce and cucumber for dinner.

Let's see how this goes, shall we?

Because the next option is deciding that I'm just perfect the way I am.

And the American Media is not going to like that AT ALL.

 

Naked Baby Making

I had promised my daughter last week to tell her how babies were made but we ended up at the grocery store and it really wasn't the place so I figured I'd find a quiet time soon. But on Sunday night she cornered my husband and asked so he told her.

"EW." was her reaction.

Later when I came up to tuck her in she said, "Oh, I know how babies are made."

"Did Daddy tell you?" I asked her. She nodded.

"OK" I said, hugging her. "You think about it and if you have any question you can ask me ok?" She nodded again.

"It's kind of DISGUSTING." she said.

Not wanting to disagree with her - or reinforce that way of thinking - I said only, "I can see how you would think that."

She looked at me and laughed and said, "I KNOW! RIGHT?!"

On Monday night she came into my office after bedtime and said, "Y'know how babies are made?" 

"Yes." I told her.

"Well how do you do it if you're wearing pants?" she asked.

"You don't." I told her

"So you have to be NAKED?" she asked - and the look on her face told me that we had just ramped disgusting up a notch.

"Pretty much." 

"Why?" she asked.

"Because the pants get in the way." I told her, thinking we'd already covered this.

"But you could just wear a shirt?" she asked hopefully.

"Sure." I told her.

"I thought you could do it in public." she told me.

"No." I said. "You do it in private."

"Did you do it in there?" she asked, motioning toward my bedroom.

"Yes." I answered - resisting the urge to add "among other places."

She nodded.  Then we talked about how that's how all animals "make babies" and it's normal.

I think she's handling it better than I expected.  Or maybe that's me.

 

No MoJo

Y'all know that my husband and I have a great sex life for a married couple with 4 kids but the truth is that even we get into lulls and have to work to get ourselves out.

Take this weekend for example - I got home from New York on Thursday night and by Friday night I was EXHAUSTED. The kids stayed up until almost 9 and by the time we tucked them in my husband was ready for a shower and a beer and I was ready for #wineparty.

I recovered from my exhaustion apparently because an hour later I was thrown in Twitter Jail for being overly social.

I logged off and jumped into bed and feel fast asleep - so quickly that I didn't hear my husband come to bed an hour later.  

The following morning - weekend mornings are usually our sweet spot - we both slept so late (think 10ish) that when we finally looked at the clock and realized what time it was we jumped up to get some errands done.  (It didn't help that my oldest son was in trouble and had been sent to his room 'for the weekend' and was therefore 15 feet away from us.)

Saturday night we went to a party.  We got home at close to 11 and were headed to bed by midnight.  As we got into our pajamas I said to my husband, "I have to go to the bathroom." but he was in caveman mode and intentionally hip checked me into the bed so that I fell over and was lying on the bed.  I was so annoyed at being manhandled by the drunk guy that I stormed out of the room and hid in the bathroom until I heard him snoring.  I'm not sure he noticed.

I wasn't really mad but neither was I aroused by his drunken lechery.  (Although there was a time, back in my prime....)

But I digress.

Sunday morning I woke up at 8 and couldn't get back to sleep.  He was still sleeping.  I was annoyed with myself so I got up to do errands and go for a run.

I'd like to say that we refound our groove on Sunday night but did you see that PATRIOTS GAME?  Who could relax during that?!?!

So yeah... we're in a dry spell.  And that's okay, we just need to work hard to make sure it doesn't turn into a drought.

Wish us luck!

And GOOD LUCK TO YOU TOO!  (Get some!)

 

Timing is Everything in Humor

I've been behind at work since I left for Philadelphia last Tuesday but my husband and I are hooked on Sherlock Holmes - the British tv series - so instead of working Saturday and Sundy nights like I normally would we watched tv.  Needless to say I haven't caught up at all.

Sunday night after Sherlock I tried to cram in a ton of work so I was furiously typing and making to do lists for today while my husband was getting ready for bed.  He's addicted to a Poker app on his phone which bought me some time but still, by the time I came into our bedroom he was in bed with the light out.

I washed my face and brushed my teeth and then I crawled into our toasty warm bed.  Then I slid over to his side and snuggled up against him.  

"GOOD NIGHT." he said with authority.

"I'm not trying anything." I lied.  "I just want to love you."

He had his back to me so I caressed his shoulder.  I kissed his back.  I rubbed his (naked) behind.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you." he said but didn't move.

Normally at this point I would have gone for the old reach around but I was tired to so I said, "I know you're tired.  I'll let you go to sleep." and I rolled over and fell asleep.

This morning he said to me, "You almost had me."

"I figured." I told him.  "But I knew you were tired and I thought it would irk you more to be lying there awake still thinking about it after I'd already fallen asleep."

"It sort of did." he said.

PIC IT

Do you ever wish that you had more time to work on your photography skills but you never really have the time?

This year I started a Facebook Photography Group to encourage people to take more photos but I never remembered to check the "prompt" early in the day and when I finally checked it at 11pm it was sort of hard to find the topic.

Well, I'm excited to announce that I'm partnering with an iphone app development company on a new app called PIC IT.

Pic it is a great app that gives you the opportunity to vote on the subject for tomorrow as well as post your photos to instagram for other people to choose as the best photo!

It's free to download the app and I've really been enjoying playing.  

Let me know what you think!