So I'm on the cleanse. You want to know how it's going? You don't?
Suffice it to say Dante was wrong, there are EIGHT levels of Hell and on this one you only get to eat cucumbers and ass vanilla flavored shakes.
Today was a "DEEP CLEANSE" day so I didn't even get to eat the cucumbers or the shakes.
And despite my insults I MISSED THEM. Everyone keeps telling me that my tastebuds will adjust and I will come to like the shakes - yeah, like starving people like Cockroaches.
Anywho, no food today.
Except that they gave me these great "french vanilla snacks!"
The first one tasted like french vanilla Maalox. Except I couldn't swallow it because of the gagging.
So I complained to my husband and he offered to "help."
"I have something," he began, "that would be soothing to your stomach."
Recommence gagging.
So then I reminded him, "Dude, I am LITERALLY STARVING TO DEATH, you do not want to put anything remotely resembling meat near my mouth."
Something about the words "Deep Cleanse" make me think of prison and a bar of soap. Hang in there.
Posted by: Lucy Ball | November 30, 2012 at 09:28 AM
Nice supportive hubby, he just wants to help.
Posted by: joeinvegas | November 30, 2012 at 10:00 AM
Oh my gods, the 'snacks' took a long time to ...um...appreciate. Sending good thoughts!!
Posted by: Jenn | November 30, 2012 at 12:03 PM
OMG! Why do most men make comments in that direction!?! I mention a headache, he says he's got a cure for that. I have an upset stomach, he's got a cure for that. I'm tired, he has a cure for that. I hate my life and have no purpose, he's got the cure! To them, that is the cure for EVERYTHING! Testo-Pigs! ;-)
Posted by: Christine | November 30, 2012 at 11:32 PM
Haha Rolling! I love the ass..er vanilla shake situation! Been there too many times lol!
Posted by: Brittiany | December 02, 2012 at 12:08 PM
Bahahahahha....men!!!
Posted by: The Redneck Princess | December 03, 2012 at 01:15 AM