Choose

If this blog were ever rebranded, I would call it simply, CHOOSE because the thing I need to be reminded most, the thing we all need to remember most is that even if the glass is 99% empty and only 1% full we can STILL choose to see what we HAVE instead of what we don't.

Last week at the airport I walked out of the bathroom stall and over to one of two sinks on one side of the restroom.  (There were other sinks on the other side of the restroom as well.)  I had my suitcase with me (as did everyone) and I parked it beside me.

As I washed my hands I heard a woman beside me ask, "Am I in your way?"  but she wasn't asking me so I didn't turn, yet.

The answer, when it came, came with a sigh that was so deep it sounded like the sigher had just lost her best friend. "*SIGH* NO." she said.  And then she added, "YOU are not."

I barely overheard this conversation - I was focused on washing my hands.  I'm sure that by now I would have forgetten all about it except for what came next.

The first woman asked, "Did I do something?"  Apparently the other woman's exasperated sighing was conveying that she had.

"*SIGH* Oh NO!" the woman insisted again and the added, "YOU were courteous."

The emphasis on "YOU" clearly indicated that someone else had NOT been courteous.  I was one of the few someone elses around and immediately felt like she was talking about me.  After all, I HAD been blocking one of the sinks.

And then I shook my head and refused to be baited.  I wasn't blocking one of the sinks, I was WASHING MY HANDS - as was the courteous woman beside me.  My suitcase was beside me as well because that was the only place for it - but even if it hadn't been there wasn't a 3rd sink for Ms. Exasperated to wash her hands.

But she was clearly exasperated.  And I was feeling attacked - and apparently so was the woman beside me.

It's possible that Ms Exasperated was in a hurry and couldn't understand that the world didn't know that.  But instead of being passive aggressive and huffing and puffing at my back she could have said, "Excuse me, I'm in a terrible rush, do you mind if I squeeze in?"

I would have been happy to let her, I would have felt magnanimous at my charity and she would have felt like the seas had parted for her - as she obviously felt she deserved.

She could have chosen to be mature and realize that I don't have eyes in the back of my head and that I don't go through my life looking after the people behind me.  She could have chosen to use the manners her mother (hopefully) taught her to alert me to her presence by saying, "Excuse me."

And MOST importantly she could have chosen to end her own feelings of being slighted,  she could have left the "courteous" woman alone and she could have gotten what she wanted from me.

The interesting thing is that I'm still not sure that she was talking about me.  So it's possible that the three of us there left that bathroom miserable - while only one of us could have CHOSEN to do anything about it.

 

 

Comments

[DaddyRunsALot]

I'll never understand that passive-aggressiveness from a stranger (or, really, from a friend, though I've gotten a bit used to it from certain people in my life).

I really, really hope you were able to let it go before too long -- it's something that would have had me thinking back on the incident all day long.

[HSciar]

Something similar happened to me once. I was totally oblivious to my "rudeness" and when I finally realized that the aggressor was talking about me, I turned around and pretended to be deaf. AND when they were trying to get their head out of their rear end, I fessed up with "Don't worry I'm not deaf, I just wanted to see the look on your face when you were realizing what a d-bag you are, MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

Might not have been the most mature thing, but it was the nicest "black-Friday-don't-make-me-cut-you" thing that I was capable of!

[Ken]

@HSciar - what a great story!

@Kit - A very Happy Thanksgiving wish to you and your family. I am most thankful that somewhere in the past couple of years, I stumbled across Blogging dangerously!

[The Borg Blog]

Um... Your last sentence wasn't entirely accurate.. You could have "chose" to have ignored her - thus embracing the 1% ;)

But I do know that is much easier said than done. If she wanted to choose to be miserable, that was her choice, but I wouldn't have let me be miserable. I'm sorry she was so annoying. :/ But think back to all those wonderful moments you've had in New York with the kindness of strangers, and choose to be happy for those experiences, and let this 1% go... :)

And yeah, what Ken above said, except substitute the word "months" for "years"... I *love* your blog!!