And then I Forgot How To Count

Last week while I was in NYC my husband broke out the electric blanket and my bed became Heaven on Earth.

If you've never had an electric blanket, CAUTION! When you get into a warm bed you may spontaneously ORGASM.  Don't worry, you'll get used to it.

We have this blanket with dual controls.  I typically turn my side up to 9 when the kids go to bed and then turn it down when I go to bed.  Last night, however, I turned it on but forgot to turn it up so it was pretty chilly when I got in.

My husband had crawled into bed about a half hour earlier and was pretending to be asleep still awake.

Sometimes I snuggle up against him when I go to bed - it's okay but I always know that eventually I have to go back to my own cold side so I don't stay long.  Not last night though.  Last night I knew that he would warm me up while the electric blanket was warming up my side - so I cranked it up to 9 and then went over to his side.

He moaned - and not in a good way.  "I'm asleep." he lied ALMOST convincingly.

"I know." I told him "but it's SO COLD on my side.  I'll just stay for a minute.  You can sleep." I lied, ALMOST convincingly.

"Oh! Your bum is so warm!" I told him rubbing it. 

Feeling that my side had become warm and that the fire I was starting on his side was kindling nicely I kissed his shoulder goodnight and said, "Oh, okay you can sleep." and rolled away.

He coughed.  I had him!

But then I could feel him slipping away.

"It was so COLD on my side." I said out loud, to no one in particular. "But now it's nice and toasty.  Especially because I'm not wearing any pants."

But I was wearing pants and I knew that he knew that I was because I have a habit of lying about stuff like that.  So I pulled my pants down.

Then I said, "But my bum is still SO COLD.  FEEL!" And I backed up toward him so our bums were touching.

And I won't bore you with the gory details of where it went from there but at one point I looked into his eyes and said, "I love you." and then I felt horrible because, while I DO love him, in that moment, that was TOTALLY NOT WHAT I MEANT.

And when it was over and he asked me, "how many times?" I answered him truthfully...

"I don't know.  Not because I didn't count, but because for a brief moment I forgot HOW to count."

 

 

Comments

[Dan]

I think you should really leave it to us to decide if the gory details will bore us. ;)

[joeinvegas]

Perhaps if you painted the headboard with chalkboard paint and kept a piece of chalk on hand, you could mark each time and count later?

[Neil Brown]

Really you should leave it to us.

[DaddyRunsALot]

Oh, how I love you guys....

[Vedant]

Lol u guys are amazing!!!