Caught In The Act...

Saturday night we put the kids to bed early.  It's not that they were tired, it's just that we were sick of them.

I'm only partially kidding.  

The kids are doing great during the week - with school and sports and everything - but on the weekends, where they have some free time, they use it to argue with each other.

So by 7pm on Saturday nights my husband and I are ready to tuck the little angels into bed.  With a staple gun.

Plus, Saturday night is date night.  We usually try to play a game or watch a movie but sometimes - especially recently, we are too tired to do anything but talk for a few minutes and then go to bed.  And by bed I mean sleep.

This past Saturday we had slightly more energy so we rented a movie.  We only got halfway through it when we decided to go bed.

And by bed I mean BED.

It was good.  We went slow, and then fast, and then slow again.

The kids were asleep so I didn't have to hold my breath like I do when they're awake.

I may have made a bit of noise.  I may have made a little bit more than a little bit of noise.  I might have screamed - twice.

Or more.

And then, as we lay there in the heaving aftermath we heard the sound of a door opening and the pitter patter of little feet.

He froze with his bare ass in the air.

"GET UP!" I hissed and using my adrenaline fueled strength, I shoved him up and off of me and across the room and  into the bathroom HULK-style.

I pulled the covers up and over my mosly naked body and smiled as my 5 year old walked through the door.  "Hey honey.  Are you ok?"

I was CERTAIN that she was going to say that she had heard the sounds of a coyote mauling a deer outside her window.  (I may have been THAT loud.)

But she just held up her water cup up to me and said sleepily, "Water."

I said, "Ok go to the bathroom and I'll be right there."

She walked out and I put clothes on and followed her.

I washed my hands, got her some water and tucked her back into bed.

Then I resolved to be quieter in the future.

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Lady Estrogen]

Just had a visual of that Hulk-style throw of a naked man across the room and it was awesome.

[KellyIsRite]

Great stuff...perfect read for a rainy Monday morning with a cup of java...spewing outta my nose and down my clean white shirt. It's ok, it was worth it.

[joeinvegas]

I think your first resolve should be to get a lock on your bedroom door. And use it. The kids can stand outside and knock, they'll live.

[Kana]

Might wanna soundproof the door while you're at it...you shouldn't be quieter, they should be deafer! :)

[Sisifo]

We live in an apartment, and I kid you not, I can hear my neighbors pee. I dream of the day we have a house and the only people we'll have to worry about waking up are the kids.

[Clara Brotherton]

My son's room is at the other end of our apartment, and once he's asleep, he's really asleep. Except fr the one night he got up and clogged the toilet. Our one bathroom is closer to our room than his room. I'm not sure exactly how much he heard, but I am not particularly quiet, and about 2 minutes after I was done, we hear "Mom, dad? The toilet's clogged."

Oh well, at least he doesn't walk into our room.

[Gypsie]

hahaha!! there's a reason i sleep with my bedroom door locked. Mostly cuz the huz sleeps in the nude..but some nights well.. ya just don't wanna be interrupted.

Also? i'm glad i'm not the only parent that has to *hold her breath* for not wanting to wake the house. lol! In the voice of River Song: "I'm quite the screamer" (dr who reference)

thanks for the laughs ;)

[ErmaBasila]

hahaha! I too have to remind myself to be a little quieter next time. and the next time. and the next time.

[Sabz]

ROTFLMFAO.
good read. :)

[Jraye]

The last time I was that loud, I wasn't so lucky. My 5yo mimicked my moans perfectly when demonstrating what exactly she heard that got her out of bed.