BloggingDangerously

Happy Birthday to Me

Monday was my birthday.  I didn't make a big deal about it because I was camping in the pouring rain in Canada and found a bug in my big restaurant dinner.  #truestory

Tuesday we drove home ten hours and the kids didn't fight once.  NOT ONE TIME.  

Now THAT is a fucking BIRTHDAY PRESENT.

When we finally got home I went upstairs to my king sized bed with Sheex sheets and orgasmed just looking at it.

But then it was time for some serious introspection.  Some people take personal inventory on January 1.  Not me.  I feel like January 1 is too arbitrary for something like that.  

So every year on my birthday I look at the past year and try to decide whether or not I'm "better" than I was the year before.

Better can be a lot of different things - healther, fitter, more serene, etc. - but my goal is to be happier with where I am now than I was then.

For the most part I have been able to achieve that.  Even when my fitness and finances took a huge backslide because I took 5 years off from training and the rat race to have kids - I felt like I was in a better spot because I had my family.

Since then it's been harder to judge - I used to have less money but more time with my family, now I travel more but stress less about finances.  Which is "better?"

I'm trying to find a way to balance it - to work hard and make money - but focus more on quality interaction when I AM with the kids.  They're older now and able to have more meaningful interaction - my time with them is not defined by how many diapers I changed - or missed changing - it's defined by how many books I read to them - or let them read to me.  On the other hand they are able to amuse themselves now - so if I dont insist on reading that book - it may not happen.  I have to make more of an effort.

It's easy to let workouts slip.  I committed to running 500 miles this year and am only at 182 with the year 2/3 of the way over.  I need to take care of my body so that I can take care of my grandkids some day.  And to help manage the day to day stress so I am here for my kids.  It's hard to squeeze it all in.

I need to work at my marriage.  I used to date a man who was deaf.  I used to tell him, "You CAN'T hear, but you WON'T listen."  It's easy when you're rushing from point A to point B to assume that the person rushing past you in the other direction is thinking the same things you are.  But that's not necessarily true.  I need to make sure that we find time to talk - even when I know we are going to disagree and that it's not going to be fun.  Its easy to find two minutes for sex but harder to find 45 minutes to communicate.  Sometimes one can take the place of the other - but not forever.  I have a good marriage but I can't count on it staying that way unless I put effort into it.

I need to put a financial plan in place and stick to it.  It's easy when you dont have money to say "I dont need that." but when you have a little more money it's easy to say, "I need that."  Even when it's the same thing you didnt need two weeks earlier.  If I could bring back everything I "HAD TO HAVE" that I definitely don't need now I would be RICH.  (I'm looking at you $150 garment bag and $300 arabic language tapes.)

I need to find a way to spend more time with my friends and family.  I dont know where I'm going to find the time to do all of these things that I'm saying I need to "find more time" to do - so if something's gotta give it's going to be this one - and I'm mostly okay with that.  

Mainly because I have you.

 

 

Scurvy Santa

On Christmas Eve my family comes to my house for dinner and presents. And by family I mean my brother and sister, their spouses and combined 7 kids. It's a cacophany of fun. And every year one of the fathers dresses up like Santa. Well, with the oldest nearing ten and the younger ones approaching 8 the jig is pretty much up. Oh, they believe in Santa they just realize that it's unlikely he has time to swing by our house for a meet and greet when the online Santa tracker says that he's in Paris. Tonight at dinner my daughter accosted my husband: "You ARE SANTA!" she told him, "We all know it.  I saw your shoes!"

My younger daughter - the 5 year old - interrupts.  "Daddy, say 'yo ho ho'" she orders.

My husband looks at her, shrugs and says, "Yo ho ho."

"Aha!" she says.

I say to her.  "Pirates say Yo ho ho."

My 8yo says, "Santa says 'Ho Ho Ho!'"

We all look at him, gasp and say, "YOU ARE SANTA!"

He claps his hand over his eyes and says, "I should have seen that coming."

 

Do As I Say...

The best part about being a parent is the sheer hypocrisy that no one can call you on.

At least no one in a position of any authority.

While I DO try to avoid it as much as I can (They WILL be wiping my behind in about 40 years and I want them to splurge on the soft stuff) here are the top ten things I probably shouldn't have said...

1) "No, I'm not going running while you're at track - it's too hot."

2) "No, you CANNOT eat potato chips for breakfast, I'm just having one and then I'm putting the bag away."

3) "No you cannot watch tv.  Too much tv will rot your brain, and I'm in the middle of a show."

4) "Dont eat the icecream out of the container.  I just did that to see if it was still good."

5) "Yes you have to finish your dinner if you want dessert.  Daddy isn't finishing his dinner because he's saving room for dessert."

6) "Please go bring the groceries in from  the car.  I would but you're the ones who are going to eat them."

7) "NO you cannot watch Fight Club.  It's too violent.  I only taped it for Daddy."

8) This one comes from my friend on Twitter while I was writing this: "Waiting for my daughter to finish her 'good for you' breakfast so I can eat a poptart and drink a Coke in peace."

9) "You need to go to bed because I am tired and cranky."

10) No you cannot wear my lipstick.  Good girls don't wear "hooker red."

Un-clique-able

I was talking to my friend Jen at Blogher and I said, "You know, I dont know that I got much out of this year's Blogher.  I mean, I love hanging out with you but I'm not sure the keynotes or the sessions or the parties were really worth it.  We could probably just rent a beach house and have everyone come and have a great time."

And she said, "but then we risk being one of the cliques."

Three hours later we sat in her room drinking wine at a party we called "MediocHer" and getting to know someone we had known online for AGES but had never met in person before.

The next morning, I said, "you know, you're right.  If we'd rented a Cape House we never would have met Babe_Chilla, and she's the best part of Blogher so far."

There's something to be said for comfortable sociable circles, and then there's something to be said for new meat. :)

 

 

 

Don't They Know Who I Am?

I have a lot to say, but sometimes my family leaves me speechless...

My husband...

Him: Goodnight

Me: Are you going to bed?

Him: yes

Me: What if I come to bed too?

Him: Then we'll both get a good night's sleep.

Me:....

My son:

Him: Mom, you already told me that motivational story and it wasn't very good the first time.

Me:....

My daughter:

Her: You ARE THE BEST MOM EVER!.... sometimes.

Me: .....