Sex Homework: Hard Habits Die Bad

I don't even know the last time I had sex.  Seriously.

I know, I know, who am I and what did I do with the real me?

It's like this, first I was working, and then we were at the beach house where we PRACTICALLY share a room with the kids and then I was working LATE and then I was in NYC and THEN it was "that time." and now I'm pretty sure I've forgotten how.

My husband says it's like riding a bike - but without the saddle.

I'm willing to give it a go - which is why this post will be short.

Nevertheless, I wanted to point out that this is how bad habits get started...

First you don't do it because you're too busy, then you're too tired, then the expectation is too high - and then finally you don't do it because NOT DOING IT has become your thing.

Well LET ME TELL YOU, if, as a couple, you're going to have a THING.  NOT DOING IS is a LOUSY ONE.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD pick a different THING.

Pick using babytalk, pick PDA, pick arguing in public, pick ANYTHING ELSE.

But don't let the sex get away from you.

Because once you've lost that, you've kind of lost the point of having a LOVER.

So tonight's homework is to break that bad habit; stop being too busy, too tired and too out of practice.

Practice my friends and enjoy.

Leave a comment if you dare...

 

Comments

[Lisa]

If Mother Nature says "Goodbye, see you next month" today, I will be pouncing on my man as soon as he gets in from work! We only see each other every other weekend, but I'm on summer holidays - been at his for 5 nights, with Mother Nature as my companion, the bitch!! Homework will be completed as soon as possible!

[A Vaughan]

I must leave the office immediately and go home and discuss our situation with my wife without delay. Right, have I got everything. My briefcase, the hand cleanser, box of tissues (why am'I taking the hand cleanser)? Inform the staff feeling unwell need to return home!
In the lift Car Park: clean underwear: check, all private bits clean: check, oh shit theres a camara in the lift someone has seen me looking at myself in the lift. Feeling a warm glow coming over me this must be good, oh no, where have I put the tissues. Not here please, I'll never get that out of gabardine, oh well, I'll do the homework tomorrow.

[Stacy L. London]

I support this message.
That is all.

[katzmeow]

A Vaughan cracks me up.

[EmmaK]

Well firstly if you have kids get them off to a friend's house one afternoon for some sexy time lolo. Then get some champagne and put on some sexy music. I guarantee you will want to get back on the saddle. Oh yeah I forgot, have your husband there too or you'll be riding bare back!! good luck

[Ken]

You have induced me to give it a whirl!!

[Lucy Ball]

Practice makes perfect! Loved it. My husband will probably send you flowers too. ;-)

[RachelVoorhees]

I'm a horny bitch so I practice...a lot.

[SusieMuckleroy]

How MANY marriages are gonna end now!.. ►HUSBANDS GETTING HOME EARLY TO SURPRISE WIFE, wife already "riding bike" with another guy◄...LMAO!!!.. just kidding!.. it's great advise ;)

[DaddyRunsALot]

Wait - have you been leaving both the husband AND Siri with the blue balls?

I get very, very afraid whenever I can't be certain when I last had sex . . . because, you're right, the "not having sex" becomes the norm. And that's not healthy. At all.

[Tom]

I love your blog. (Grinning widely and closing window.)

[john]

Very wise post. We bought our present house just because of the privacy and tranquility the master bedroom suite finally gave us. Kids are great but you have to make the time for each other.

[Manisha]

Love it. Too easy to get out of the rhythm, and once out of the rhythm it's hard to remember why you'd want to get back into it.
Only need to do the homework once to remember why!
If you or anyone else is looking for some rekindling inspiration, I set a 'get back in the sack' challenge each week on my blog "Keeping Lust Alive Weekly"
( http://klawclub.com/category/weekly-challenge/ )

[@monicabenavidez]

Apparently our thing is the thing you just said shouldn't be our thing.

I find it boring and unfulfilling. I'd rather watch reruns of The Big Bang Theory.

There might be something wrong with me.

[GertrudeIII]

Getting out of the rhythm is a bad thing, but arguing in public is worse. For the rest of us, that is.

[Dee]

What happens when your partner constantly pisses you off ?

[Lady Estrogen]

OK. First off Dee's comment made me lauggghhh.

I was sick of the routine. I brought the laptop into the bedroom and started watching a dirty movie. BOING.
Yay, it worked.

Ahem.

[Dharza]

You are soon right

[Handflapper]

Gotta go. I have let my homework pile get way out of hand.

[Mary]

I almost agreed with you, until you said "baby talk" could be "a thing" instead. If ever there was a habbit to send a shudder down my spine it's that one (a close second being partners who call each other mummy and daddy, even when their kids aren't present, when they are talking about themselves to other adults.)

[Neondusk60]

AMEN !!!! and God help us!!!

[Jester Queen]

Arguing in public. Absolutely. But we do not skip sex except when life gets crazy. And then we get to have makeup sex, so that's OK.

[Sisifo]

I'm 8.9 months pregnant. We have three kids under 6, none of which are in school yet. Hubs works 40+ hours a week. The apartment walls here are so thin my neighbors can hear me pee. We still share intimacy at LEAST two times a week.
If I'm still getting it, you should be too.
Get. It. Done.

[The Bonny Bard]

Sisifo just scared the crap out of me... like the drill sergeant of sex...
I'm in the wrong camp... have been meaning to rectify the situation for awhile, just really, really hard to start up again... I've got a whole tv routine going now...

[RoryBore]

My husband is a shift worker, which includes working nights. with 3 kids, "nooners" are out the question at this point in life. So when he's finally home and the house is all quiet.....oh yes...

we're gettin er done!
Giddy up already! ;)