Don't Wanna

Lately my kids have kind of been driving me fucking nuts.

This is a shitty thing to say because they are good kids and they get along with each other and random people stop me in the grocery store to tell me that when I wasn't looking they were hugging each other.

So yeah, they are totally awesome TO EACH OTHER.

But listen, they're growing up and I'm tired of wiping their asses - both metaphorically and LITERALLY and the truth is that there are some things that they can do around here and they don't have to act like I just asked to borrow a kindney when I ask them to pick their dirty underwear off the bathroom floor.

BUT THEY DO.

Tonight my kids had track from 6-7:30pm.  I worked until 5:50, raced downstairs and hopped in the car with them.  I ran from 6-7:30 while they ran and then my husband dropped me off at the service station to pick up our car which received a surprise $700 worth of work.

I left there, went to Trader Joe's and bought the makings of dinner.  I came home and grilled chicken and flank steak, cooked pasta with freshly grated Romano cheese and adorned our plates with watermelon and cherries.

And my nine year old sat down and said, "Gee mom, the food just keeps getting worse and worse around here."

I think we can all agree that the fact that he's still breathing shows great charity on my part.

My 5 year old daughter sighs loudly enough to damage your hearing when I tell her that no, in fact, she cannot have Big League Chew at 8am.

My 8 year old rolled his eyes to the moon and back when I told him that "No TV all day" did not end at sun down.

The entitlement is driving me crazy. Even though I know I cause it by wanting to give them everything.  I still want them to APPRECIATE it.

But that's not even what this post is about...

This post is about the fact that today is the 3rd of July and every year my family has a big bonfire and lights off fireworks.  But I'm not speaking with my mother right now and I don't feel like going.  Except that when I was a kid it was the BEST day of the year and I feel bad NOT taking my kids because I know they will LOVE it.

But I don't want to.  I want to ROLL my EYES and SIGH and SAY, "DO I HAVE TO?"

Sometimes being a grownup sucks.

 

Comments

[Jane]

The entitlement kills me. It'l like a disease at our house. You dinner sounded delicious!

[traci]

yes it does, I feel that I could have written this post. THis is the first 4th that we will not be at the Cape with our huge family (because hubby is fighting with them) and my poor kids will miss out and we will be all alone with nothing to do. I am trying to convince them that watching the fireworks on tv will be just as much fun. Have a good one.

[TechyDad]

Dinner time has come to mean fight time for my 5 year old. He's so fussy that there are only about 5 or 6 dishes he'll eat. The general rule is: You don't eat what I made? You get a plain peanut butter sandwich.
@
When I bend the rule and custom-make him something, you'd think he'd be appeciative. Invariably, he'll look at what is on his plate, declare that he doesn't like it (without even tasting it, mind you), and demand something else. Then comes the hour long scream-fest as I refuse to play "short order chef" and he refuses to eat what he asked me to make him just 10 minutes ago. (Usually, by this point, my wife & other son have finished eating and I would very much like to eat in peace instead of making yet abother meal.)

[Becky]

I've stopped accepting this nonsense from my kids, and it is amazing. Yes, I thought I was going to die from all the whining/screaming/but-mom-that-is-just-so-mean! nonsense I had to listen to for a while after I decided I needed some sanity. But it worked. Either you can eat your food in peace, or you will make dinner for us all the next day, and there has been days where we've all eaten Mac and Cheese, but the little offender hasn't complained since.

I'm sorry you're missing the holiday. It's always rough when adult nonsense gets in the way of your kids' traditions and holidays. As it is, we're in India this year, so for the first time since I can remember, I won't go to a barbecue or see fireworks on the 4th. It makes us all sad, but I have some plans to do other stuff with the kids so it won't be so bad. Kids are incredibly stretchy that way.

[Tea]

My children are slightly older, and do NOT get along.. Make no mistake, this doesn't mean they're any more appreciative than yours. It just means that in addition to huffing and eye rolling and telling me how much I suck at basically everything, they also bicker, fight, and generally terrorize one another.

[Jaimie]

:) you give me so much to look forward to ..lol. sorry dearie... hopefully YOU have fun too.

[TetheredHeather]

Yes it does! I feel ya about the entitlement part. Live my kids but when did they get so damn bratty???

[Jester Queen]

Not being on speaking terms with your Mom sucks at any age. Maybe your husband can take them?

[Sandra]

Sometimes being the grown up around ungrateful children sucks the most. I hear ya on everything sista-friend! My daughter, whom I do every thing for because I'm a stupid mother like that, said to me the other day, "When you look at me sometimes, your smile is crooked."....that didn't go over very well.

[Andrew Webber]

I live in a VERY wealthy part of the Middle East. Wealth that is unfortunately not mirrored in my own bank account.

When not writing I am a sports therapist, hence the lack of wealth (the least heard sentence in the English language is "can the massage therapist please move his current model BMW" - just for the record)

You want to talk about entitlement?

I had a serious discussion with the daughter of a top tier and local client that went exactly like this.

"Dad won't let me have a new car" she said.
"Why do you need a new car? You guys have a whole garage full of them. They all can't possibly be used every day, there's not enough of you living here" I said, while standing on the fourth floor of their villa. Next to the internal elevator door.
"But they aren't NEW"
"That BMW X5 hasn't been moved from it's spot for the best part of a year, perhaps you could drive that" I said. The car is at worst a 2008 model. BMW. X5.
"I hate that car, and it's sooooo old" said while utilising the rarely combined 'sigh and huff' technique.
"So what you are saying is that you won't use that car to get around, because it is old?"
"I'll use it, but I won't drive it - so only after dark, and only if one of our drivers is free."
Me: "......"
Her: "What?"

I think it's a universal condition now. Only the stakes change.

[John]

Oh, being a grown up sucks bigtime.

I remember a specific moment growing up -- it was the summer, and I was in middle school. My mother was running around all day and it was well past 8 and we hadn't had dinner yet. I remarked that the sun was still out (because it was the summer, and the days were long) as my mother was preparing dinner, and she took it as "John is complaining that it's late and dinner isn't on the table yet."

I learned my lesson from there -- the parent stuff is hard, and never, ever say something that might possibly be taken as criticism when people are rushing about.

Now, the lesson I need to remember is to not take everything as critical when I, myself, am rushing about.

But a comment like that, at that precise moment? I'd have freaking lost it. It would not have been pretty -- I have a truly remarkable amount of patience most of the time, but I also have a really, really startling yelling voice. So, considering that voice makes rare appearances, when it does, it's truly effective.

[RoryBore]

I remember the day my daughter sat at the dinner table and loudly declared, "not this yucky stuff again."

she vividly remembers the night she went to bed without any supper. Once.

we call them "self correcting problems" around here.
and every now and then, it can be damn fun watching them get some learnin!

[TL]

Congratulations on acquiring the new family chef for dinner weeknights! Who knew a nine year old would be so talented with a stove?