BloggingDangerously

Q: What Time Is It When An Elephant Sits On Your Car?

A: Time to get a new car.

I was reminded of this today when I got home from the store and noticed a man walking his dog past my house.  It was a gorgeous - but ENORMOUS - chocolate lab.

But the really amusing thing was that his owner was carrying a full sized snow shovel on their walk.  It's 1 mile around my neighborhood and I have to imagine there was a reason he was carrying the shovel - but the only one that comes to mind is that he was going to use it to shovel the dog's poop.

And all I could think was, "Dude, if that dog poops that big, it's time to get a lapdog."

I tried to get a picture after they passed me but the guy kept turning around as if he knew what I was thinking.

 

That Awkward Moment When You Say, "I Like You" For the First Time

You know how when you start dating someone, you're sort of reserving judgement based on previous heartaches and heartbreaks until you've spent a bit of time together and then somewhere around the third date you 're seized with panic at the realization that you ACTUALLY like them and are suddenly vulnerable?

You people know me.  You know that all of this angst should be behind me. I'm happily married and rather than experience angst about saying "I like you," the words "I love you" roll out of my mouth and text out of my fingers several times a day.

And yet the other day I was SEIZED in panic from VULNERABILITY.

None of this came from my husband.  

You see, I live in an affluent town where the men work and the women stay home.  At social functions the men congregate and the women chat and I have nothing to offer to the discussion on the new Zumba instructot at the Y but some ARCHAIC rule keeps me from crossing the room and speaking the with the guys about work, the economic impact on business and networking at children's sporting events.

So, I don't have a lot of close friends in town.

(Note: this is not a comment on stay at home moms - they do an amazing job and I think that it is incredibly valuable work.  I just live in a different day to day world.)

The other day I met someone at work that I really like.  He's funny and smart and we totally gel.  Every time he IMs me I literally laugh out loud.

I said to my husband, "It's like I'm dating someone for the first time.  It's SO refreshing to meet someone wonderful that I feel totally insecure and think 'I hope he likes me too!'"

My husband, one of a handful of stay at home dads in town totally got where I was coming from.

"What's not to like?" he laughed.

 

Integrity

I was sitting in my formal livingroom today with my husband, my mother and all four kids when I noticed that there was a streak of pen on the front of the leather couch.

"Wait a sec." I said.  "Who wrote on the couch?"

The couch is left over from when I was single and it's the nicest piece of furniture in my house.

A chorus of 4 "Not me"s went around the room with an "I'm INNOCENT!" thrown in for good measure.

So we asked each child in turn and they all denied it.

"Fine." I said to all of them. "Go to your rooms."

The truth was that there were too main suspects - the usual suspects - my youngest son, who could use some more self control - and my youngest daughter, who sometimes leans a little too hard on being the baby.

As they all started toward the stairs, my oldest son, said, "I did it."

I was shocked.  So was my husband.  We looked at him.  "You did it?"

He nodded.

I had him go into the kitchen and get a sponge.  It was a dry erase marker so it washed right off.  I said to him, "That's a VERY expensive couch.  We don't have a lot of nice things. Please don't ruin the ones we have."  He nodded.

A few minutes later he crawled into my husband's lap.  My husband said something to him along the same lines - about respecting our home - and my son whispered to him, "I didn't do it."

"You didn't do it?" I asked.

He shook his head.

My husband shook his hand to tell him that he was proud of him for taking the blame so that they weren't all punished for what one person did.

I turned to the other three, "He did a nice thing for you by taking the blame, but you weren't very nice to him by LETTING him take the blame."

My 5 year old daughter, got up, walked over to me and said, "I'm not innocent."

Then she turned to her brother and said, "I'm sorry."

He said, "That's okay."

And then they hugged.

 

All It Needed Was a Giant Gorilla

This is the view of the Empire State Building from my hotel room in NYC.  

Gorgeous, isn't it?

 

 

Old School (And Awesome) Blogging Dangerously: MARRIED SEX

I'm in New York and it's been a long week of working and taking pictures.  Depending on what time my flight lands tomorrow night I hope to share some of them with you but in the mean time I wanted to republish this oldie but goodie about MARRIED SEX.

I hope you have as much fun reading it as I have living it. 

Hugs,

Kit