I work from home, my husband is a stay at home dad and my youngest daughter goes to afternoon preschool.
I put the older three kids on the bus at 7:45 and then I come back inside and spend a couple of minutes with my 5 year old daughter before heading up to my office to start my day. Sometimes, if I know I'm not very busy we play for a while. Her favorite thing is to be tickled. My sister in law once told me that tickling a child was akin to child abuse. I think this is rubbish - or she wouldn't BEG for it. BUT, I HATE being tickled so I always give children the choice. I make them say "Go" before I start and if they say "stop", I stop. I want them to understand that they are in charge of their bodies. And that they should resent it if someone tries to take that control away from them.
And this post just became way more serious than I'd intended.
Oops.
Anyway, one of my daughter's favorite games combines tickling, control and suspense. I say a word like, "Up" and she repeats it. I say another word and she repeats it. I start to throw out words faster and faster and faster so she has little time to think before she has to repeat it. If I say the words, "Go" or "Green" (because green means go) and she repeats it, I tickle her until she says stop or until I think that she's going to puke on me.
It's hard to trick her and oftentimes when I say, "GO." she says, "NO." instead.
Sometimes I look at her, raise my hands in a menacing way and say, quietly and psychopathically, "Say go."
She says, "No."
So I say it louder and she says, "No." very calmly. We repeat this until I am almost on top of her, SCREAMING, "SAY GO!!!" and she looks up at me calmly, resolutely and laughing, says, "no."
She doesn't know it but I hope that she is learning to be unfazed by intimidation - to hold her ground when she knows she is right despite how emphatic her opponent is.
And she thinks it's just a game.
Today I got off a conference call and yelled down the stairs to her at the top of my lungs, "YOU HAD BETTER WATCH OUT!!!"
I ran down the stairs, turned the corner of the foyer into the hallway and the turned the corner to the kitchen - just in time for her to sucker punch me in the stomach.
My husband said that as soon as I'd yelled she'd FLOWN from where she was sitting to meet me head on - without a moments hesitation.
He almost fell out of his chair laughing.
I was laughing so hard I fell down.
She stood over me and yelled, "AHA!"
Apparently she's learning.
This is the hilarious, awesome and disturbing all at the same time, pretty much what I expect being a parent to feel like. Now, please write a book. I'm serious.
Posted by: Kelly | January 18, 2012 at 09:47 AM
This post needs to be published everywhere. It is so right on so many levels - sucker punch and all.
Posted by: ~Kristina | January 18, 2012 at 09:55 AM
Inspiring post!
Posted by: Cat | January 18, 2012 at 11:18 AM
I totally LOVE this post. My husband does something similar with our kids, they love to be tickled. I never thought of the lesson behind it, though. That is awesome.
Posted by: Jen | January 18, 2012 at 01:01 PM
So lovely, so brave, so cute!
The intimidation game! I'm going to have to think about this one for our home. :-D
Posted by: Ess | January 18, 2012 at 06:49 PM
Ha! I love it. My husband tickles my boys all the time, but I never do because I hate to be tickled and I can't imagine doing that to someone! My kids however, just love it! I do always remind my husband to stop if they ask him too, and not to let it get too crazy since my oldest has actually peed a little from the tickling. Never a dull moment in our house!
Posted by: Lanae (@Hungrigyrl) | January 18, 2012 at 06:51 PM
I LIKE this kid!
Posted by: Jessie Powell | January 18, 2012 at 07:28 PM
She's all sorts of awesome, Kit.
Posted by: John | January 19, 2012 at 02:09 PM
Oh man, that too funny at the end. The entire post is great, but the sucker punch got me.
Posted by: LA786 | January 19, 2012 at 07:10 PM
Sooo cute! I wish mine was that age still...he'll be 20 next week *sighs*.
I totally agree that tickling should be a fun game with limits. Sometimes I would just wiggle my fingers (in tickle mode) in front of Son and he would squeal with laughter just from that!
Great fun!
Posted by: D Magazine (Dawne Strehl) | January 20, 2012 at 12:17 AM
I think you've learned your lesson...
Posted by: Coffee Lovin' Mom | January 26, 2012 at 12:21 AM