Tell My Mother I Died In My Sleep...

Growing up, I spent the summers with my grandparents at the beach.  The beach is great - most of the time - but when it's cold or rainy there isn't much to do so we would go to the library and take out lots of books.  When I was about 14 I found, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  I know you're probably thinking, "Roald Dahl!  I LOVED Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!"

Well so did I, my friend, SO DID I.

I loved it so much that I went on to read Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator and then everything else I could find by Roald Dahl - including a grouping of 4 short stories called "Switch Bitch" that were originally written for Playboy. 

You might think that when I realized that these stories MAY not be appropriate for a girl of 14, that I returned the book, unread.

But then again, you probably know better.

One of the stories was about a doctor who was researching why pheromones caused immediate sexual responses in animals but not in humans. He thought that perhaps we had lost the ability to actually emit and process the appropriate human pheromone.  He hired young, able bodied assistants and tested his creations on them.  Finally, he discovered a pheromone that made them stop whatever they were working on to have mad, animalistic, sex.

Unfortunately, in the version I read, the doctor - the only one who knew the formula - was killed when he accidentally dropped a vial of the pheromone - which broke - causing him to attack his rather portly receptionish - much to her enjoyment and his ultimate demise (heart attack.)

Obviously 14 year old girls reading their first bit of smut are impressionable and this story stuck with me where, I confess, finer literature has not.

When I first heard about Zestra, this is what I thought about, that it was some miracle elixir that would have men and women expiring in bedrooms across the country.

And I thought that the LAST thing my mother needed to hear about me was that I died 'Doing it.'

Although I can't believe she would be surprised.  -  Jealous maybe.

In any case, Zestra is safe, and if you've been looking for something to help put you - or your wife - in the mood it may be just the thing.

Zestra is an oil that increases arousal, desire and satisfaction.  You can use it with a partner or alone.

It's hormone free and it's doing great things for a lot of couples.  So if you're unhappy with your sex life or if you're unhappy because your partner is unhappy with your sex life, why don't you give Zestra a try?

And now, for a limited time, you can get a discount.

Remember the Wasted Orgasm Theory?  Every orgasm you don't have is lost forever.  Isn't it worth a try?

And if you're such a firecracker that he DOES expire? At least he'll have a smile on his face.

Note: This post is sponsored by Zestra but that doesn't mean I think it's any less fabulous or that you don't deserve to have mind-blowing orgasms. Love, Kit.

Comments

[Dan G]

Have you tried it?

[DHARZA]

interesting....I should buy stock because I know that many people will be trying it after they read this blog post

[Dana]

It seems interesting and definitely worth a try but as someone whose libido was lost completely to premature menopause, I remain skeptical. This sounds like it would help heighten arousal for someone already in the mood but not necessarily spark the mood for someone who hasn't had it in a year.

[Roxanne]

Could have used that back when I was married.

ZING!

[Debs]

I will echo the comment from Dana. Similar situation here and a spouse who has "let himself go" leave the desire out in the cold.

[Rose Fisher]

Dana, I work at Zestra and after reading your comment, just had to reach out. Although Zestra works for women of all ages and life stages, many of our customers are woman who have experienced a lack of desire as a result of menopause (either naturally or due to surgical menopause). Like you, they were initially skeptical, but after trying Zestra were able to get their desire back…after years of feeling well, nothing. Here’s a link to some testimonials: http://www.zestra.com/changing-lives/testimonials/. If you’re interested, we’d love to send you a sample.(DM me on twitter @Rosann).

[Dana]

I'll take you up on that, Rose. I just followed you on Twitter (@danasfeast) but need you to follow me back so I can send you a DM. Looking forward to giving Zestra a try.

[Elizabeth]

Can't get your purchase links to work for the discount

[Jessie Powell]

I LOVED the lead-in! And wouldn't that be a great way to go out.

[TheBigBookOfDating]

Hahah the wasted orgasm theory? lol (going to read more about that now)...
Great post (:

[Courtney]

"As with many consumer products, Zestra should not be used by pregnant or lactating women". Damn, that means I can't try it for like a year. My very horny, hugely pregnant self is disappointed :(

[A Morning Grouch]

I love the Roald Dahl intro - you've made Zestra proud.