Yesterday was my husband's birthday. To celebrate I flew to Miami and left him home with the kids - because I'm a great wife like that.
The trip was for work and THANK GOODNESS my husband isn't much for dates and anniversaries because I spent our 9th anniversary on a business trip to NY.
Romance is my middle name.
Not.
But what I lack in Ceremonial Sentimentality I make up for in every day effort.
What I mean by that is, YES, I flew to Miami on his birthday but I made sure to give him a birthday BOFF before I left.
And it wasn't easy.
I tried Monday night - a little after midnight nookie to start the year off right but APPARENTLY 42 year old men prefer sleep to sex - at least at midnight.
And then this morning it was OBVIOUS that he was going to prefer sleeping in to christening the new year. And when I saw OBVIOUS, I mean that the snoring sort of gave it away.
No worries, we made a plan to rendezvous in the bedroom after I'd packed and after he'd dropped the 4yo off at preschool. That gave us 3 hours to ourselves - which is about 2 hours and 55 minutes longer than we'd need if history was any indication.
I was wrapping up some stuff at work when the phone rang...
"Hello." I said.
"Oh hello!" she said, "This is the school nurse. Your son is waging an epic battle for dominance of the herd and your husband doesn't stand a chance. is complaining of a tummy ache." she said.
"Ok," I told her. "I'll have my husband come get him."
As soon as they walked in the door my husband gave me a look that said, "Well that takes care of that!"
But I love him for his sticktoitiveness and a few minutes later he gave my son a glass of water and a tums and sent him to bed.
I wasn't wholly comfortable with the thought of having sex in our bed with him just down the hall and awake so I brought my husband into our Master Bathroom. I figured that put at least THREE doors and a few walls between us and the kiddo and if I could manage to be quiet (doubtful) we might just get away with it.
WHOA - we have A LOT of mirrors in the bathroom. And a stool so the kids can brush their teeth. And of course, the throne.
So there was sitting and straddling and standing on a step and MIRRORS everywhere and I managed not to scream and/or fall.
AND my husband had a Happy Birthday smile on for the rest of the day.
So what I'm saying is that I get that it's hard to find the time/opportunity and I get that you're not always in the mood when the opportunity presents itself. And I get that plans change and you are not a lightswitch BUT I read an article today that says that MARRIED women age 18-49 have sex an average of 1-3 times/MONTH.
And it's my personal goal to help raise that number - both through my own actions - and by inspiring others. So get out there and do it.
(Hey, I know it's not world peace but it'll put smiles on a lot of faces.)
And P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my wonderful husband. I LOVE you.
you inspire me all the time....
Posted by: DHArza | November 16, 2011 at 09:06 AM
OMG... Yesterday was my husbands birthday too!! Also, our oldest daughter had a dance performance... I did the nice wife thing and asked his mum to join us... She showed up around 3:00 yesterday afternoon... with a suitcase... No birthday loving here!!! BOO :(
Posted by: J | November 16, 2011 at 09:10 AM
Sister, when I was married I had sex maybe once a quarter. So glad I got out of that. You have been an inspiration to me to have a more fulfilling relationship in the future!
Posted by: Amy1N | November 16, 2011 at 10:00 AM
Hilarious!! that's the way it has to be done;)
Posted by: MangoChutney | November 16, 2011 at 10:12 AM
Um, about that 1-3 times/month. Yep.
Love your post! Time to change my (our) numbers!
Posted by: Ann Harrison | November 16, 2011 at 11:04 AM
The first sentence knocked me out of my chair!! Been there, done that!!
Posted by: Ken | November 16, 2011 at 11:19 AM
1-3 times a month? My man would feel like his feelings had been stomped on if we went longer than 72 hours. We are 34 by the way.
Posted by: Lindsey | November 16, 2011 at 11:45 AM
My s/o is 62, we don't live together and both travel extensively for work, and I'd say we're at 3-5 times per WEEK!!! :-D
(And yes, we both have big smiles on our faces)
Posted by: KT | November 16, 2011 at 11:50 AM
Oops!! He's only 61 until February. Nobody tell him I aged him up early!!! :-)
Posted by: KT | November 16, 2011 at 11:50 AM
You're a riot, and I'm not taking sides, but my not after midnight theory is as follows.
Males are born with a certain amount of Captain Blood-a-zine HCL. Over time that amount drops, quite a bit after high school.
At midnight, our subconsciouses are sorting out how to navigate the appi-cray coming the next day, and there's probably no time to think of or be interesting in anything else.
So, it's probably not due to dis-interest. :)
Posted by: octopusgrabbus | November 16, 2011 at 02:47 PM
Oh, those numbers make me sad :( Thanks for inspiring us all to do better!!
Posted by: Julie | November 16, 2011 at 08:26 PM
Sex is like exercise. Even if you doing feel like doing it, you're usually glad afterward that you did. Thanks for the encouragement!
Posted by: Dr. G | November 16, 2011 at 09:36 PM
1 to 3x a month?!?!?
We don't have sex every day, because the husband is usually exhausted from work, but we still manage 3-5x a week.
Posted by: mrs.d | November 17, 2011 at 01:00 PM
Oh, Kit - I love you.
I miss the days when weekends consisted of having sex before bed, and then having sleepy sex in the morning before going back to sleep, and then having sex in the afternoon before repeating the whole ordeal the next day.
Posted by: John | November 18, 2011 at 10:35 AM