Apparently I am a Complete Sham

Last week in Miami I faced my fears... and ran away screaming like a girl.

The second night I spent in the city I went to the complimentary #wineparty that the hotel hosts every night from 5-6.  You'll be disappointed to know that I wore a bra AND pants. 

I'm not sure if it was the fact that the party was poorly attended or my overdressed status but I was incredibly self conscious.  It could also have been the fact that I wasn't drinking heavily enough.

That's always a problem.

I love the online #wineparty because if you suddenly find that you're self-conscious or need to take a break, it's perfectly acceptable to go silent for a bit and then reappear, FABULOUS.

At a real wineparty it's hard to hide the fact that you're drinking alone in a roomful of peopel you don't know.  Civilized? I call it barbaric really.

And then my friends showed up and we went to dinner and started pounding saki and things picked up immensely!

Then, to remind me of the poseur I apparently am I went out to dinner with 4 guys that I work with and one of them started talking about the time he went to China and got a massage and things went horribly awry when she wanted to give him a happy ending and all he wanted was a foot massage.

The tipsy guys in the car started talking about "toe-tugs" and I blushed right up to my eyebrows.

Then one of the guys started talking about porn and I started to feel much more at home and then he turned quickly to motor oil and I scarleted all over again.

Which I guess is just my way of telling you all that I am completely at home on my own blog and at my own #wineparty but when I venture out I am, apparently, not as cool as I think.

At least not with a bra on.

Comments

[Dana K]

LOL I talk about poop a lot more online than I do in real life but I talk about gross sexual practices (thank you Urban Dictionary) WAY more in real life.

Oh, next time at a live wine party, just take a book. That way you look refined.

[Mrs. MidAtlantic]

I am often better received at parties when I leave my bra at home. I found this to be especially true in college.

[Original mama k]

The more yup drink the better the party seems...

[John]

I've often wondered, if we had a #wineparty tweetup, if I'd be able to pick you out right away because you were the one person who I didn't already know by sight who was going about pants-free & braless.

It's funny to put real life aspects onto a "I only know you online" persona, though, because I really have a hard time picturing you being even the slightest bit awkward in most any circumstance. Obviously, this is just a ludicrous assumption to make about someone . . . but, I think we're all guilty of our ludicrous assumptions from time to time.

[TechyDad]

I'm much more social online than I am offline. I definitely think it's that "you can go silent for a bit" factor as well as being able to fully craft a response better (type, re-type, delete and then type again) and not having to worry about my looks. When I'm in a group of people I don't know, I feel like I'm reverting back to high-school me and have to fight the urge to find a quiet corner to hide in.

The odd truth, though, is that my online persona is much closer to the real me than my offline persona. I feel freer to "talk" about things online than I do offline.

[Sarah]

I am totally with you!!! I can write it (though I don't) and I can chat it but I sure as hell can;t face it :) As always you make me laugh. Have an excellent day!

[Myself Better]

I do ok unless the people I am drinking with are significantly younger than I am. I've officially stopped being fluent in "cool" slang. Your trife friend just planked? WTF does that mean? I looked it up. I know now. But in the moment I just smile and nod.

[Ken]

Well, that's an easy fix!! :-)

[DHArza]

I think you rock!!!