I kept saying I should write these things down as they happened but I didn't. Hopefully I can remember ten of them. Sometimes it's more important to live life than to write about it.
1. My 9year old is so passionate about Halloween costumes that we had to enact an official rule that in my house that you can't start talking about Halloween until AT LEAST September. Otherwise he starts in April and totally drives me CRAZY. So for the past couple of weeks he's had his heart set on attending a Rennaissance fair and decided that a knight costume could do double duty. I promised to take him to the Spirit Halloween store today - so I did. As enthusiastic as my son is about Halloween he is a HUGE chicken and at one point at Spirit I lost track of him and found him crouched in the fetal position with his eyes closed in front of a robotic zombie.
Yes, I laughed.
2. 2 minutes later I turned to my son and asked, "You know what your 4 year old baby sister would be doing if she were here?"
"Crying in fear?" he answered.
"No. Making fun of you." I told him.
"Thanks for ruining my happy thought." he shot back.
3. 2 minutes later he turned to me, pointed across the store and said, "You should get that ugly clown mask Mom. It suits you."
4. Despite harassing me all week to take him to Spirit for a costume, my 9yo couldn't find the knight costume he wanted there. I'll take you to "It's a Party" later this week I promised. "PLEASE?" he asked. So we went. On the way my 7yo, who had drunk an entire 32ounce bottle of Gatorade at the grocery store and refused to go to the bathroom, realized that he had to pee. We spent the entire ride from Spirit to It's a Party making water noises. When we got there we christened it, "It's a Potty." which is much funnier if you live in a place with Boston accents.
5. We went to a party on Sunday afternoon. Some of the boys at the party decided it would be fun to play ding-dong-ditch on the old lady next door. When it was my 7yo son's turn to ring the bell the woman had had enough and she was peeking out the door. When my son raised his hand to knock she opened the door and screamed.
"Mom," my son told me as he recounted the story, "She screamed. And then I screamed like a little girl!"
The picture of the little old lady screaming - and then him screaming back was so hilarious I spit my Diet Coke out everywhere.
6. As we were walking to the party I said to my husband, we'll need something to carry the pumpkins (because they give out pumpkins at the party every year.) He grabbed the red wagon. "You might want to wash that dad." my 9yo said. "Because I accidentally peed in it."
Just as I started to ask him how you accidentally pee in a red wagon in the middle of the back yard he turned to me, put his hand up and said, "Okay, maybe not accidentally."
7. My husband, 9yo son, 7yo son, 6yo daughter and 4yo daughter headed out to the backyard on Sunday afternoon to throw the football around. After one particularly bad toss, my 4 yo daughter rolled her eyes at herself and muttered, "LAME." under her breath.
8. I made my daughter a pillow out of soccer ball patterned fleece. When she saw it she started crying. "It doesn't look like a soccer ball." she sobbed. "It looks like an Easter Egg."
"Listen," I told her. "I like to run but I'm not the best runner in the world. I like to cook but I'm not the best cook in the world. And I like to sew, but I'm not the best sewer in the world. I like to do a lot of things, but I'm not the best at any of them."
"You're the best mom." she interrupted.
9. Last week while my husband and sons were at football the girls and I made dinner. We were standing in the kitchen when my 6 year old yelled, "Oh no! Not again! BAT!"
The three of us hit the deck just as the bat entered the kitchen and began circling.
Someone screamed. It may have been me.
"Can you open the door?" I called to my 6yo who was the calmest of us all. Someone once told me that if you open the door, the bat will find it and leave.
She crawled over to the door and opened it - too late - the bat had flown back down the hallway. No matter, my daughters and I went outside to wait. We held the door wide open. Yes, there were mosquitoes invading my house but I didn't care. I was hoping the bat would see them as food.
We were outside for about 5 minutes when my husband and the boys got home. My husband snagged the bat in a butterfly net on the first try. He's getting good at this.
Later, as my 6yo is recounting the story to the boys of what happened before they got home she says, "I spotted the bat so I yelled, 'bat' and then mom SCREAMED like a baby and hid under the table and made me unlock the door."
10. I went for a run on Saturday and my ankle didn't hurt!
You sound like you've got a lovely family. Thanks for the laugh.
Posted by: Brad | October 03, 2011 at 08:05 AM
Funny, funny list. Thanks for the laugh.
Posted by: Rebecca | October 03, 2011 at 09:05 AM
well done KIT sounds like you got a perfectly normal family unit on the go there.You will grow old pleasently with kids like that to cheer you up along the way.Cant beat family love and security .Everything else just so unimportant and any windfalls just a bonus.Forge ahead mommy nad if you get stuck well just look at their little faces youll find theres tons of fuel in the tank to get you through.love to you and yours alwaysx
Posted by: john donohoe | October 03, 2011 at 09:09 AM
I'd laugh at the "lame" comment, but my kids seems to have been afflicted by the "lame virus." My eight year old will roll his eyes and say "LaaaAAAaaaame" (complete with sing-song teenager tone) at things he doesn't like doing. Then, his 4 year old brother will repeat him. (Thus "lame virus" as it seems to spread like one.) They're too young to act like teenagers!
As for the bat, we had bats in my office a month or so ago. They kept finding their way in through an unnoticed (by us) hole. Of course, they would fly right by my office. Luckily, most times they would come in early in the morning and be removed by my co-workers before I got in. One morning, though, I was sitting in my office with the door open when something flew by it. Just as I thought "a bird got in", I realized it was a bat. Luckily, I managed to open a door and it went right outside.
My first priority was closing my office door so it didn't detour through my office though. I know some people say bird poop is supposed to be lucky but I didn't want to test whether that applied for bat poop too!
Posted by: TechyDad | October 03, 2011 at 11:53 AM
This made me laugh out loud! Your kids sound hilarious.
Was that the pillow you were working on at #wineparty this past Friday?
Posted by: MissMarinaStar | October 03, 2011 at 02:43 PM
I was in the car for about 10 hours today driving home for a family vaca. And THIS made it better for the few minutes I was reading it. Later in the drive I read it to my husband and it worked again!
Posted by: Jamie (@chosenchaos) | October 03, 2011 at 10:05 PM
I think #8 was the best..but they're all funny/awesome! thanks for the late night giggles ;)
Posted by: Gypsie | October 03, 2011 at 11:14 PM
This line is so true, "Sometimes it's more important to live life than to write about it." My 4.5 year old is obsessed about Halloween as well. He in fact speaks of it year round. We haven't taken him to Spirit yet, but he's dying to go.
Your stories were so funny, glad you recalled them all.
Posted by: Marta | October 04, 2011 at 12:15 PM
why did your ankle not hurting make you laugh?? isn't that a good, non laughy thing?? and screw bats.. Id MOVE :D
Posted by: Jaimie | October 05, 2011 at 06:34 AM
#5 and #9 had me really belly laughing, and the baby in my lap was so thrilled by it that she gave me a big slobbery smooch!
So, thanks! :)
Posted by: Chunky Mama | October 10, 2011 at 01:15 PM
Laughter - the world's best medicine. lucky you to have such hilarious kids. Then again - mine are pretty entertaining, when they're not batting me about the head with vtech gadgets.
M2M
Posted by: hpretty | October 14, 2011 at 01:49 AM