A few years ago I was crashed in front of the television on a Sunday in September when a voiceover came on the TV. A man's deep voice boomed out, "SON, the Man who thinks he can and the man who thinks he can't are both right, which one are you?"
It turned out to be an ad for the NFL but I didn't care, the words touched me.
What if it were true, what if the difference between what we don't achieve and what we do achieve came down - simply - to choice? What would we choose to achieve?
I've often thought about those words when I've had something huge to do - or something scary.
This year my daughter is in first grade and she's learning to read and, like my oldest son before her, she HATES it because it's not easy. The two of them only like learning things they already know which, of course, completely defeats the purpose.
It doesn't help my daughter that this is also her first year of full day school and by bedtime - when we try to practice reading - she is EXHAUSTED.
The other day I asked her to read a book and she refused. I pushed because she often refuses and I can't just let her choose not to learn to read - and I'm afraid that if she doesn't practice at home she'll believe that she's not smart - which isn't at all true.
So I pushed and she fought back and started crying and I looked at her and said, "The girl who thinks she can and the girl who thinks she can't are both right. Which one are you?"
She looked at me.
I asked her, "Do you know what that means?"
"It means if you think you can, you can. But if you think you can't, you can't." she told me.
"Exactly." I told her. "So which one are you?"
She looked me in the eye.
"The girl who can." she answered.
Then, in 2 minutes, she read the book she'd fought reading for 20 minutes. And then she read another. And she's read a book every night since then.
Because she CAN.
What can you do?
I like that one. That is sort of along the same lines as, "Are you a DOER or a DREAMER?" I am a dreamer unfortunately, I spend a lot of time dreaming up things I would like to do or wish I was in life, but I rarely ever even start to "do" them let alone finish them...whatever they may be.
My father reminded me a long time ago of a good quote from a cheesy movie called "Three Kings" where Cuba Gooding Jr. says "you never have the courage to do something you are afraid of until after you have done it". Sort of the same concept.
Posted by: Jenny | October 14, 2011 at 10:54 AM
Oh, I adore this! Because if your exhausted 6-year old precious girl CAN, I CAN, right? Awesome post. :)
Posted by: Chibi Jeebs | October 14, 2011 at 11:48 AM
that SO describes me and my first grader. I am going to try that line on him.
awesome post.
Posted by: Kirsten | October 14, 2011 at 02:45 PM
excellent advice! I too am the mom of a 1st grader......you completely described what we go through as well! THANK YOU!
Posted by: Heather | October 14, 2011 at 04:40 PM
I CAN use this exact same technique on my 5 yr old non-reader.
M2M
Posted by: hpretty | October 15, 2011 at 04:28 AM
What a wonderful story! I'm going to use that on my grandson...he has trouble believing he CAN.
Posted by: Ken | October 15, 2011 at 12:17 PM
I am totally using this with my oldest. He gets this mix of anxiety and perfectionism that convinces him that he can't do a task. He'll complain for an hour that he CAN'T do something, finally relent, complete it in 3 minutes and declare "That was EASY!"
I've told him to *NEVER* say that he can't do something. He's a very intelligent kid and can figure out anything he puts his mind to.
Posted by: TechyDad | October 15, 2011 at 09:56 PM
Great Post!
Posted by: Srtjm | October 16, 2011 at 12:03 AM
Brilliant lesson to learn so early.
Posted by: Rebecca | October 16, 2011 at 12:15 AM
This is one of the best "inspirational phrases" I've read in a while. I need to write it out on a post-it and stick it on the mirror to remind myself of it daily!
Posted by: Moomser | October 16, 2011 at 06:19 PM
I recently re-became a CAN after some yucky health crap, and it was the smartest choice I ever made!
Posted by: Fearlessfibrowarrior.blogspot.com | October 17, 2011 at 10:06 PM
Thank you for this! After I read this, I mentioned that phrase to my son and it's really stuck. So much so that the other day when he asked me to come see something on TV and I told him "I can't right now", he said "If you think you can, you CAN!" :)
Posted by: Liz | October 24, 2011 at 05:42 PM
Liz, I love this! This is how you know they take it to heart!
Kit
Posted by: Kit | October 24, 2011 at 10:17 PM