You know on those sitcoms when they have episodes where the women are yelling at the guys for not listening and you can hear the guys thoughts and they're all, "I'm hungry. Is she still talking? Boobies! I'm hungry."?
So, that's sort of my life.
Except that I can read my husband's face like a book so there's a lot more punching in my house.
But apparently negative reinforcement works because tonight I saw some real improvement on his part.
We had to have a conversation about the upcoming week and we happened to be in our bedroom so we lay down on our bed - with me giving him the preliminary caveat, "I JUST SHOWERED. I am SO FUCKING HAPPY to be clean that, NO, I AM NOT GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU."
Him: ok.
His face: So what you're saying is that there's a chance.
Me: Stop looking at me like I'm a piece of bacon!
Him: I'm not!
His face: I totally am. Also, I love bacon.
Me: *PUNCH*
So we're lying there talking and his hand is on my knee. And then his hand slips under the hem of my shorts. But - and I'm REALLY proud of this - then he moves his hand (with effort) and puts it back on my knee and FOCUSES on what I am saying.
I turn to him.
"You've come such a long way." I praise him.
"Do you want to reward me?" he asks lasciviously.
Baby steps, right?
haha.. that..was ..awesome! thanks for the morning laugh! mine was rude enough to wake me up at 5 am for a 5:30am quickie before HE went to work.. seriously.. inconsiderate! i had to be up an hour later with the kids..no sleep..*grumps*
Posted by: Gypsie | September 06, 2011 at 08:10 AM
I love that, so true and yet humorious.
Posted by: Atama | September 06, 2011 at 08:12 AM
My husband is so exactly like this. Except, he doesn't hope to expect a BJ anymore. It's been years since he got one of those.
Posted by: Mrs. MidAtlantic | September 06, 2011 at 09:04 AM
How proud you must be! haha Hubby sounds like he handles the punching well. Have you considered he may be starting to associate punching with love? This could be a vicious circle.
Posted by: Angie Uncovered | September 06, 2011 at 09:08 AM
I didn't realize you'd married me. I swear, Wifefish could have written this. :)
Posted by: Dangerboy | September 06, 2011 at 09:52 AM
Last night is the closest I've come to strangling Husband. He'd taken a nap earlier in the day so in order to punish me, he decided to ignore "I'm not having sex tonight period" and poke and prod me. At one point, I was even getting a massage, which I foolishly hoped was coming out of the goodness of his heart, until I realized he was getting closer and closer to the danger zone. Needless to say, I am exhausted.
Posted by: Sara | September 06, 2011 at 08:25 PM
"I'm hungry. Is she still writing? Boobies! I'm hungry."
Posted by: John | September 07, 2011 at 08:15 AM
Man he just doesn't give up =)
Posted by: Marta | September 07, 2011 at 02:10 PM