(If you're here for the ipad giveaway - hit the home button.)
Me: I am 8 pounds away from the weight I was the day I met you.
Him: Awesome!
Me: Next Step, a boob job!
Him: I'm sure you've already considered this, but if you think I'm all over you now, IMAGINE what I'll be like if you have a magnificent rack!
Me: HEY! I DO have a magnificent rack.
Him: Well then WHY do you need a boob job?
Me: Because I'd like to have a magnificent job about 6 inches above where it is right now.
Him: Then it's NOT a magnificent rack.
Me: It is if you're a midget!
I need more of a "lift" and less of a "job". I'd still like to run or jog without beating myself to death. But that's just me.
Posted by: Schadenfreude Warehouse | August 05, 2011 at 10:05 AM
My husband and I have had the same conversation many a time. Husbands are stupid.
Posted by: Carri | August 05, 2011 at 05:13 PM
I LOVE how someone once put it-
You know who are bullies? My breasts. They punch me in the face when I'm jogging- bang bang!
Posted by: Ellie | August 05, 2011 at 07:13 PM
I HATE you for the first line, but luv you for the rest. Glass half full?
Posted by: Walkingborder (Karen) | August 06, 2011 at 07:54 PM
I am so with Karen....First line...AMAZING for you!!! (I'm so never getting there...so a little envious! lol) but the rest...made me laugh!!! Thanks! I keep saying my 40th b-day (far enough away to save up plenty of money and courage) gift to myself will be a lift to put the girls back where they belong! ;)
Posted by: Corysangel98 | August 07, 2011 at 02:26 AM
Hot sexy mama! Also, let's go in for a boob job two-fer!
Posted by: Linz | August 07, 2011 at 12:50 PM
At this point, I call my "mammo-ready." I'd take the life AND the job...
Posted by: Wombat Central | August 07, 2011 at 12:50 PM
Gravity is no friend of mine. My rack is shriveled and sagging. But it's magnificent in its own way, I guess.
Posted by: buzzvibe | August 07, 2011 at 12:53 PM
Congrats on the weight loss!! Wish I could say the same.
Posted by: Jennifer | August 07, 2011 at 12:56 PM
When I was a flat chested teen and requested a boob job, my dad said "We'll just do one and see how you like it" I declined.
Posted by: Suzanne | August 07, 2011 at 12:57 PM
Hahahaha...once, after I had been lamenting my small-chestedness, my husband replied "If I cared about boobs I wouldn't have married you!". I get that he was *trying* to cheer me up, but man I was ticked!
Posted by: Taylor | August 07, 2011 at 12:58 PM
Mine point northeast and southwest. Guess I need to find a guy with a lazy eye.
Posted by: Jennifer | August 07, 2011 at 12:58 PM
Gah... I'm a J cup. A VERY low hanging J cup. I could do with a perk up job too. I can't imagine what they're going to be like when I shed these pounds.
Posted by: Sunshine | August 07, 2011 at 01:00 PM
The upside of going from a flat chest pre-puberty to a d-cup in a matter of weeks is that I've never had perky boobs to miss. I just hope that gravity won't affect them. I'd hate to have boobs to my knees.
Posted by: Sarah | August 07, 2011 at 01:01 PM
If I would get some of this weight off my boobs would get smaller which would be nice
Posted by: Kelli | August 07, 2011 at 01:04 PM
Right with you on this, need a lift, but no more volume!
Posted by: Samantha D | August 07, 2011 at 01:04 PM
Seems like the hubby already loves the rack you got ;-) Congrats on the weight loss!!
Posted by: Sandy | August 07, 2011 at 01:05 PM
The only way I can even claim I have boobs is if I gain 20 pounds. Congrats on having a magnificent - if lowered - rack :)
Posted by: Dizzy | August 07, 2011 at 01:09 PM
I once told my husband that conversations like these always end up being "tit for tat" kinda deals...
and he said if that were the case he'd be stockpiling "tat"
Here's to the emergence of your fitter, badder and more awesome self !
Posted by: Rene Foran | August 07, 2011 at 01:15 PM
Good thinking! my rack would be magnificent to um, smurfs I think. Maybe.
Posted by: Michelle@GotchaBaby | August 07, 2011 at 01:16 PM
Hillarious! Fun to be a fly on the wall of these conversations between you and your husband - will look for next #wineparty -- saw so many iPads at #BlogHer11 and now I want one more than ever!!!
Posted by: Joann Woolley | August 07, 2011 at 01:17 PM
Congrats on getting so close to your weight loss goal. I'm sure you'll reach it soon. You must be very fit too.
Men! What do they know!? :)
Posted by: Bones | August 07, 2011 at 01:17 PM
When I lament about my lack of breast size, my husband consoles me by reminding me that he's not a boob guy, he's an ass guy, and mine is nice and big like he likes it. Gee... thanks honey.
Posted by: Venti With The Girls | August 07, 2011 at 01:19 PM
Good for you on the weight loss! I agree with Dizzy, though. I am on the Dukan diet and have lost 15 pounds so far. Unfortunately, 10 of those pounds were in my boobs. I vote for the lift. Sorry, but little people kind of freak me out.
Posted by: peacepursued | August 07, 2011 at 01:20 PM
You crack me up. The only boob job I want is a reduction that lifts them back up half a foot!
Posted by: Kathy | August 07, 2011 at 01:22 PM
Why are the boobs always the first to go? My advice as someone who has one - yes one long story - don't do it..the sensation isn't the same if you get my drift..
Posted by: Coffee Lovin' Mom | August 07, 2011 at 01:27 PM
I first was told I had a nice rack by this guy I recently started dating. I'm not sure if I like the term rack, but it makes me smile every time he says "you have a nice rack." or "your rack is amazing" or "I can't stop starring at your rack." Rack reminds me of clothes hangers for some reason.... "No more wire hangers!!!!"
Posted by: Alicia | August 07, 2011 at 01:27 PM
Ugh - I am far from my goal weigh and don't even want to think about what the rack is going to look like when i loose the rest of this weight......
Posted by: Kristi | August 07, 2011 at 01:27 PM
I wasn't sure if I was supposed to comment on this post or the latest post to be entered in the iPad giveaway...
So I thought I would do both for good measure. And let you know I love your blog. I read it at work for a pick me up.
Posted by: Liz | August 07, 2011 at 01:30 PM
After I have this next baby and nurse her for a year or so, there will be a boob job. These babies have been stretched and pulled and sucked and look like shit!
I will, of course, get into tip top shape first;-). Can't have a flabby ass with perky boobs!
Posted by: Courtenay G | August 07, 2011 at 01:31 PM
Uugghh men ! ;-)
Congrats on the weight loss!
#wineparty eh? May have to come 'round on Friday and check it out. :-)
Posted by: MomNeedsAVacay | August 07, 2011 at 01:33 PM
My great-grandmother apparently could fling her breasts over her shoulders and would often do so in order to get them out of her way... as she worked in her garden topless. She must've been a very interesting woman, but all the same... I never want to be able to copy that particular accomplishment.
Posted by: Barbara | August 07, 2011 at 01:35 PM
Yes, yes, yes...I agree. Perkyed up boobs would be great. I don't wanna go bigger, I just want them lifted! Congrats on your weight loss. I wish reading all those twitter announcements of your running would've inspired me to do the same. :)
Posted by: April Miller | August 07, 2011 at 01:38 PM
Love your sense of humor :)
Posted by: Wendy aka MrsPickle | August 07, 2011 at 01:40 PM
If I had my boobs pulled up to where they really should be, I wouldn't fit behind the steering wheel.
Posted by: SterkUT | August 07, 2011 at 01:41 PM
Haha, that's great.
Posted by: Rebecca | August 07, 2011 at 01:45 PM
They should totally invent an anti-gravity hover bra.
Posted by: Tori | August 07, 2011 at 01:48 PM
I agree with Tori. I need all the help I can get!
Posted by: Rachel | August 07, 2011 at 01:50 PM
I'm pretty sure I could smother a midget with my boobs. I'm hoping after this pregnancy they return to a more natural state, because frankly, this is a bit ridiculous.
Posted by: Jess | August 07, 2011 at 01:51 PM
Women thinking they need breast augmentation (unless it's reconstructive) is simply not something I understand (ir think amusing)
Posted by: A rose is a rose | August 07, 2011 at 01:53 PM
Love the wine parties, even though i'm not a mom! Staying in on a friday night with friends- both present and twitter- and having some delish wine is always a fav <3
ps, is this also where we comment about the ipad?
See ya friday!
Posted by: Christine | August 07, 2011 at 01:56 PM
After 3 kids and some pretty serious weight loss... I wish I could get a boob job :)
Momma to 3
*Shay B*
Posted by: Charlotte Brewer | August 07, 2011 at 02:03 PM
exactly how i feel. awesome rack, six inches too low!
Posted by: Michelle | August 07, 2011 at 02:24 PM
I quit smoking and within 3 months went from an A cup to a C cup. Now I'm afraid to lose the 20 pounds I gained!
PS I want to enter to win the Ipad because it would REALLY piss my husband off :)
Posted by: Tracy | August 07, 2011 at 02:26 PM
Congrats on the weight loss! And I feel the same way about my boobs.
Posted by: Molly | August 07, 2011 at 02:40 PM
Seriously... I'm hoping I win this iPad because my cheap ass husband won't buy me one. #wineparty on, Party People!
Posted by: Carri | August 07, 2011 at 02:43 PM
At least you have volume :( Mine are perky because they're small and I want to lose weight...Kinda worried what I'm going to end up with (or not end up with as may be the case)!
Also, I would like to win the iPad but it says nothing about non-US people being eligible. And I like readin #wineparty, but thanks to the time difference it's never on Friday night for me!
Posted by: Anniekster | August 07, 2011 at 02:51 PM
Your blog cracks me up....I look forward to heading every new post you write!
Posted by: Amanda Johnson | August 07, 2011 at 02:56 PM
I'm thankful my husband is an ass man because I was NOT hit with the boobie stick!! That's ok though, I'm happy with my itty bitty titties...most of the time.
Posted by: Natalie | August 07, 2011 at 02:57 PM
Hey, I'm EXACTLY the same weight I was the last time I got on a scale (this morning) Does that count? I could use some major "liftage" on The Twins though...that nasty gravity thing is wrecking havoc. I wonder if sleeping standing on my head could reverse that. (I could totally research that on an iPad ;)
Posted by: Sharon Podsada | August 07, 2011 at 02:59 PM