I work from home.
Normally this is great because I can work from 8-5:30 and be home immediately to spend time with my husband and the kids. It also gives my husband some flexibility to run a quick errand during the day without having to take all of the kids.
The downside is that when my husband is bored, he comes to "visit." When the kids are in school this typically means that he was doing something, somewhere in the house and his penis rubbed against the inside of his shorts and he thought, with a smile, "I'm married. That means FREE SEX!"
So he comes up to my office where - he soon realizes - nothing is free.
When he enters my office he is invariably reminded of the mortgage, the grocery bills, the cost of the electricity to run his beloved air conditioning unit, the honey-do list I taped to the refrigerator and a litany of other items I keep on hand to discourage such mid-day "visits."
He remains undaunted.
I thought that summer would save me since the kids would be around and we wouldn't be able to find any "alone time."
And yet he soldiers on.
The problem is, his affection, while persistent, is not always as compelling as he would like.
Today, for example, he came into my room just as I leaned back in my chair to stretch. I had my arms raised over my head and he passionately spun my chair around to kiss me...
Causing my hands to come into contact with the 100 Watt light bulb in the gooseneck lamp near my desk and me to scream, "OW!!!!!!!!!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!"
I jumped up, ran to the bathroom and put my hand under cold water.
The moment, as if there had ever been one, was ruined.
This reminds me of a different time in my life - it's a bit disjointed, but I think you'll figure out how my mind got to where it is in the end.
Soon after moving to PA, I ended up in a bit of a work kerfuffle. My contract was only for 6 months, so I interviewed for a few positions (and with another firm for my own job), just to ensure that I had all of my bases covered.
I ended up keeping my job, but in my interviewing, I ran across a guy who had won a contract that was, simply, more than he could chew. He needed programming help, desperately, along my lines of expertise.
In other words, I could keep my full-time job, and then work from home.
So, I did.
The second job sometimes was a 10 hour a week job, and it was sometimes a 60 hour a week job (this is on top of my 40 hour / week job), which resulted in some very late nights and some weeks where I wouldn't really ever see my wife, yet I'd be home.
So, I learned, quickly, when I went to bed, and found her nude but asleep, that was the key to wake her up.
Little did she know that I would have taken a break, at any time, to "give her some attention" as I was programming away.
Posted by: John | August 04, 2011 at 09:42 AM
I find that the best thing of working from home is more time for the family and the worst thing is the family eating my time. And I don't think it's a lack of respect for me or my work, it's just a matter of being there. At least twice a week I have to issue a 'stay away' order, not to speak of the countless reminders. Well, have to go...somebody is knocking on my door :D
Posted by: Valentina@baby quilts | August 04, 2011 at 01:19 PM
Still laughing...sorry about that.
Posted by: Dasi | August 04, 2011 at 06:57 PM
Priceless :-)
Posted by: dar | August 07, 2011 at 12:55 PM
That's hilarious! And oh, so true! Thanks for making me giggle this afternoon!
Posted by: Tara Leininger | August 07, 2011 at 05:06 PM
Sometimes I think to myself..."IF we have sex, that means I have to take a shower, and DRY OFF and DO MY HAIR AND MAKE-UP! Gawd...I'm not up for it." Or..."There's 13 minutes until 10pm...if I just let him hurry up we can be done before 10 and that means I get 6 hours of sleep." I have a feeling I'm approaching this all wrong. Am I alone?
Posted by: Carm | August 08, 2011 at 05:29 PM
Such is the life of the glamorous! :)
Posted by: J. Michael | August 08, 2011 at 09:16 PM
My personal unfavorite is when I have my hands full with making dinner - say a hot frying pan in one hand and a raw chicken thigh in the other - and HE thinks it's the perfect sexy opportunity to come up from behind, reach his arms lovingly around me, and fondle my tits. Seriously? What part of that is supposed to turn me on? Now... if he came up behind me, took the pan and the meat out of my hands and proceeded to fix the dinner instead, I would likely drop to my knees and blow him while he cooks...
Posted by: A | August 15, 2011 at 11:47 PM