We're back from camping and I'd like to thank you all for coming back here after my 5 day hiatus. I had honestly planned to blog from the road but believe it or not there is no cell signal in the back woods of Maine. Who knew?
I would also like to thank everyone who responded to last week's anxiety-ridden apocalyptic rant. I can't tell you how much it means to me that people I've never met take time out of their lives to not only read what I write - but lend support when I so obviously need it.
I tend to be an "It's Gonna Be A Great Day!" person more than a "Terrible, Horrible, No good, Very Bad Day" sort of person but we all have our moments and knowing that you're out there helps.
So what brought me down? Well, last week's panic attack was brought on by a bug. What sort of bug? you ask. GREAT QUESTION. When I wrote last week's post, I feared the worst - bed bugs! You see, we have this family house - aka ramshackle cottage - in a gorgeous location - that costs more than you can imagine considering it was theoretically free.
We rent this house out for a couple of weeks to earn enough money to keep patching the roof and replacing the screen door that gets blown off every summer - true story.
Last week we rented the house to this older couple that lives around the corner. They have 4 children who are scattered around the country and this was their chance to bring everyone together at the beach. We were psyched because these are just the kind of people you want - nice people who come back every year.
Except that when they left we found the bugs.
They were crawling all over one of the beds.
And during my last post I was TERRIFIED that they were bed bugs and that they had infested our beloved money pit AND had snuck into my suitcase and were spreading throughout my "real home" while I was typing. Do you know how much it costs to get rid of bedbugs? THOUSANDS.
So I got up the next morning and drove into the woods with a PIT in my stomach.
My sister, on the other hand, got up and grabbed a piece of scotch tape and went to the house and stuck a couple of them and brought them to an exterminator and he said:
"GREAT NEWS! You don't have bedbugs! You have CRABS!"
"Don't sleep in the bed and they'll be dead in 48 hours."
And when she texted me, it was seriously the best news EVER!
UPDATE: In case ANYONE misunderstands - I DONT actually have crabs ON MY BODY - they're just in one of the beds in my house. And they're dead now. Please don't go around telling people I have crabs or I'll never find a roommate for Blogher.
you have no idea how happy i am for you. bedbugs are terrible & expensive--we had them once (from a cruise) and i don't even want to talk about it. i'd even choose a rat over bed bugs (had one). or dead body smell (had that, too). (wait you don't want to come over and visit??) huge thumbs up from crappy rat & bed bug-infested baltimore to you!
Posted by: lunch at 11:30 | July 18, 2011 at 09:12 AM
GREAT news!!! I am glad it is only crabs...that sounds funny but it is better than bed bugs
Posted by: DHArza | July 18, 2011 at 09:19 AM
Um, how do you broach that topic with the renters...
"Hope you enjoyed your stay, where ever did you get such marvelous crabs!"?
Posted by: Mrs. MidAtlantic | July 18, 2011 at 09:34 AM
I was thinking the same thing as Mrs. MidAtlantic.. that had to be one major infestation, yech! Glad they weren't bed bugs!
Posted by: Erin @ Brownie Bites | July 18, 2011 at 09:48 AM
That's crazy! Are you going to tell the renters what happened? I hope the only crabs that make it to your house are the ones from the ocean!
Posted by: ddigerati | July 18, 2011 at 10:02 AM
Sorry, but, even if they die within 48 hrs., the mattress and a little lighter fluid starts the evening bonfire.
Posted by: Don | July 18, 2011 at 10:10 AM
Wow I lol'ed and my skin crawled at the same time! So are u telling the renters? If so, I can't wait to read abou thay! Haha!
Posted by: jillbinmd | July 18, 2011 at 10:12 AM
Glad to hear you have crabs. (Boy, never thought I'd say/type that sentence!) When we went to BlogHer last year in NYC, we kept hearing about the bedbug infestation there. Since we were driving down and since bedbugs could infest suitcases, we packed everything into a big Rubbermaid container instead of a suitcase. Luckily, we didn't see any bugs nor anything hitch a ride home with us.
Posted by: TechyDad | July 18, 2011 at 10:15 AM
It's one of those rare cases when crabs are a good news. Do you intent to talk to the renters - might be tricky and sticky. Let us know of the follow up.
Posted by: Valentina@baby quilts | July 18, 2011 at 11:27 AM
I'm cracking up. Seriously, how many freaking crabs were there?? I can't even imagine. You HAVE to tell us if you tell the renters. How bad must they be itching if they left so many you brought one home with you!
Posted by: Tracy | July 18, 2011 at 01:18 PM
Bwahahaha. Sorry, but who leaves CRABS behind when they go on vacation. Yikes. Glad to hear they are all dead and not actually on your body. I had friends of mine get "body lice" from the nasty bed in a hostel in Europe. Highly amusing as they were devote Christians and virgins... God has the funniest sense of humor, no? They (twin brothers) had to shave every part of their body. Omg Ew.
Posted by: Ashley | July 18, 2011 at 02:39 PM
And that would be devout. Stupid autocorrect.
Posted by: Ashley | July 18, 2011 at 02:41 PM
I am REALLY glad you don't have bed bugs. But VERY distrubed at the possibility of the older couple having crabs (which is where my ridiculous mind automatically went- to the most insane and ridiculous option).
Posted by: La | July 18, 2011 at 05:48 PM
Hmmm, the jokes go from bad to worse so I'm not even going to start... Good to know the week helped you to relax some. I read your last post after you were gone but was sending a mental hug your way! (and a mental visual to my hubs cuz he's gonna want to watch, lol) Sometimes just when it feels like your panic attack is going to get the best of you, God sends you crabs instead of bedbugs to show you it's going to be OK! Hang in there, have a few drinks, a Xanax, and it will feel better! ((HUG))
Posted by: Wicked | July 18, 2011 at 06:44 PM
I can't believe you have crabs, glad that the your sister was able to identify them. Thankfully they aren't the awkward kind of crabs. =)
Posted by: Marta | July 19, 2011 at 09:24 AM
Umm, where did the crabs come from?
M2M
Posted by: hpretty | July 19, 2011 at 11:21 AM
We're back from camping and I'd like to thank you all for coming back here after my 5 day hiatus. I had honestly planned to blog from the road but believe it or not there is no cell signal in the back woods of Maine. Who knew? I would also...
Posted by: buy metformin | July 19, 2011 at 02:20 PM
Haha. I remember when we thought we had bed bugs. Turns out the flea medicine we used for our cats wasn't doing it's job and the little bastards were angrily biting me a million times (it looked like bed bug bites, I researched them, lol). Not a bite on my husband. A-hole. Glad you've got your issue fixed. Never a fun time.
Posted by: twinstyles.blog.com-Jess | July 19, 2011 at 04:54 PM
Very funny story, glad you just have crabs. Sorry, one of the beds in your house has crabs.
Posted by: Dasi | July 19, 2011 at 09:08 PM
Ok, this is wrong on sooo many levels. 1. Were these the STD kind of crabs? 2. If so, how in the heck did the exterminator know-I thought this fell under medical care. 3. I didn't know they would hang around without a live source. It puts the whole "you can't get it from a toilet seat" question back on the table. 4. What were they? Nursing home swingers? Wow-this boggles the mind. Truly, truly weird.
Posted by: AJ | July 22, 2011 at 08:47 AM