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June 14, 2011


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Ha! You are not alone. I've done that. I've resembled a stalker at a party to which I was invited. So sad. But I didn't go to parties in middle school so that's that.


I've done the exact same thing for the exact same reasons. Haha!


It drives me crazy when my otherwise very grown up psyche is attacked by the irrationality of adolescent terror. It is like being thrust back to that first Jr High dance where I was absolutely positive that mine was the only mother forcing her son into a most uncool neck tie, solidifying some sort of geek label that would never forsake me.
I survived, for the most part unscathed. Although, I still have an irrational fear of neck ties.

ally bean

Hi, I love your blog. I found it through twitter and am now smitten.

I've not gone to a party that was there, but I couldn't find. However, I have gone to the absolute wrong house where I was sure that the party was; rang the bell and waited until the unhappy non-party giver answered. Realizing my mistake, I said: "sorry, the houses on your street look all the same to me."

This comment wasn't well received and the door was slammed in my face. Leaving me still lost and with the distinct impression that there was probably a better way to handle the wrong house situation in the future. ;-)

Erin Rehill-Seker

You captured the feeling of insecurity so thoroughly in this piece—I felt as if I was waking in your shoes as you dove down behind the car with the bottle of wine still in your hands. I still feel that way with my daughter's friends' parents. I work full time, and I am the mom who is always breathlessly running through the school trying the make it to the play, concert, presentation, etc. before it ends. For the reason, I never want to attend any social gatherings—besides not having any "friends" at the school—I don't want to be judged. Thanks for writing—you made me laugh out loud (and feel I'm not alone).


Ugh. I would have knocked off the top of that wine bottle and started slugging it down. Nothing combats social anxiety like a little alcohol, right?

Coffee Lovin' Mom

I was thinking the same thing about opening the wine! Amazing how the mind can play such tricks that you didn't hear anyone in the back yard..


Just reading this made my heart race a little bit and I swear I'm perspiring just a little bit. I've SO been there.

Great post. Great writing. Why didn't I come here from twitter sooner? xo

Valentina@baby quilts

I can so relate to this story. At times I am my worst enemy. Usually when I have all the good intentions to do the right thing I behave in the most inexplicable, defining logic way. I switch to some kind of over-analyzing mode and make a total fool of myself.Good thing it doesn't happen very often.


Oh yeah. Been there. Felt like that. I was the kid who never got invited, so deep down, I fear it's all a hoax to make me feel bad and self conscious. Them not answering the door that I KNOW they use would have TOTALLY done the same thing to me.


Oh, that's too much - but I'm right there with you. I don't know what it is about me, but I have a truly hard time believing the people aren't constantly making fun of me. I don't know if I repressed some middle school memory or what, but just about any time something happens in my life that I can see as "somebody making fun of me" turns into a full-blown conspiracy that everyone I've ever known is a part of.

It's not healthy.

But, it also looks like I'm not alone.

SassyB (Tina)

To point out the obvi here...don't you think they could have put a sign out on the door "Party out back, come around"? I mean really? Or put it on the invite? They had to have known that they were having the party out there. Maybe its the 12 year old in me that wants to call them assholes. Just saying.

I have had something very similar happen to me and I did exactly what you did. I turned tail and went home.

Great writing as usual!


I could completely see myself doing that. (Well, maybe not diving behind a car, but slinking off thinking that I got the party date wrong.) I'm not the bullied, socially-awkward teenager that I was in high school. I'm a successful husband and father. Still, there are many times when my facade of social competence cracks and my insecure/socially-awkward core emerges. (Being social online is easy for me. I can take your time typing/editing a response for maximum impact. Being social in person is a completely different story.)


I've never faced a party situation like that, but I can tell you there's been at least three different occasions where I've seen an old friend/recent enemy at the store and done the ol' dive behind the nearest tall display. I hate confrontation, always have, and the thought of seeing someone I don't want to see gives me the willies.

At least you got to keep the wine!


This is COMPLETELY me! rofl

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