My husband has a broken wing. It's actually neither broken, nor winglike but he has a cast on his left arm that makes doing anything USEFUL impossible. APPARENTLY.
And yet, there is homework to be done. Homework that has been neglected for a VERY LONG TIME.
Here are three suggestions for using a broken husband...
1) Sit on top of him, facing away from him with your feet between his legs and bounce up and down. You may need to hold his hands for support.
2) Lie on top of him with your legs together. Have him spread his legs and put yours between his. This works best with a lot of lubricant. Think of it as a sort of reverse missionary.
3) If he's totally broken you're going to have to send him to the store for bread while you take care of things yourself. Have him take the kids. You know what to do.
Let me know how it goes.
Love,
Kit
Darn it! But how do I fix the broken husband's libido?
**crossing fingers it comes back after this child is born!
Posted by: Mad Woman behind the Blog | May 12, 2011 at 09:20 AM
Hubby and I have been much better about getting our homework done, including a modified doggy-style-meets-stable-boy-romp-in-the-hay (er, bed). It was pretty fantastic.
**functioning elbows required.
Posted by: Mrs. MidAtlantic | May 12, 2011 at 09:56 AM
Love it. how have I been missing these homework assignments?? not that they would get done... did you hear the story of my semi-naughty cell phone pic and my extremely obtuse husband? eh, maybe it's better this way...
Posted by: Rusti | May 12, 2011 at 01:06 PM
OMG! There are times you need to put a Pampers Disclaimer on your blogs. I don't even have a blader control problem but sometimes when I read your stuff I laugh so hard I wish I had some protection for accidental squirts!!!!!
Posted by: Courtney Mroch | May 14, 2011 at 02:01 AM
oh, courtney, that's what *he* said! "accidental squirts" indeed!!
Posted by: toni in florida | May 16, 2011 at 11:52 PM