Earlier this week my friend Carole wrote a blog post that you sort of need to read for this post to make any sense. Go ahead. I'll be here when you get back...
Anyway, as you read, she argues that you shouldn't need a battery operated boyfriend to do what God gave you two perfectly good hands to accomplish on your own.
As you can imagine, I completely disagree (for a multitude of reasons but let's stick to vibrators and leave religion out of it.)
First of all, Carole mentions that vibrators can't replace the smell and feel of a lover. I completely agree with this and 95% of the time I would NEVER prefer a plastic pal to my flesh and blood (and musky) husband. (The other 5% of the time is when I'm too tired to keep up my end of the bargain and am looking for the quick endorphin rush to send me off to dreamland.) Of course, plastic pals can AUGMENT a perfectly wonderful sexual relationship and help you experience things that two people don't have the equipment (or arm length) to accomplish on their own.
Carole also argues that using your hand is an opportunity to build your sexual practice and help you achieve multiples. Let me say that FOR ME, multiples are not an issue and the intensity of the waves is such that I really can't concentrate on what I'm supposed to be doing when it hits. So if I'm trying to ride that wave, leaving me in charge of the manipulation is tantamount to a MAJOR WIPEOUT. This is also why I can't have sex standing up. (I fall over at climax. Please stop laughing - people have been hurt.)
This is also why I'm terrible at 69. One minute we're going hot and heavy and the next minute I am floating among the clouds, doing somersaults and when I finally come back to earth all I can think about is "What the hell is this thing in my mouth?"
I am however, EXTREMELY interested in the The Tenga Egg from Amazon - and not just because with a low, low price of $6.40 it will come in handy in avoiding shipping charges!
Just be sure to use it sitting down.
I agree. With you. I seriously don't need to have to think about what I'm doing when I'm doing that. Vibrators take the thinking out of the the equation and allow you concentrate on the real business.
Posted by: Handflapper | May 27, 2011 at 12:33 PM
Oh my gosh! I clicked on the link.. and GOT sooo sidetracked.. like for an hour.. from one click to another... Who knew Amazon had toys??? NOT me!!!! And dont' get me going on the 'side trips'.. Some weird ones!
Anyway...hands???? Hello! Carpel tunnel???? chaffed skin??? Tell that sister that toys are the REAL safe sex!
Posted by: Andi Sexton | May 28, 2011 at 12:48 AM
I'm in your camp on this one, Kit. Toys just keep things interesting. The buzz of an egg vibrator always gets me where I need to go, but the warm hand of my partner to intensify the aftershocks is wonderful. BTW, I've been reading your blog off and on for a few months now and just *LOVE* it! I had some extra time this evening and just read all of your posts with the tag "Vibrators". Very fun, you and your readers crack me up.
Posted by: Sunny | May 28, 2011 at 10:49 PM
I have a hard time understanding why she thinks sex toys take away the mind-body connection. Sex toys have allowed me to explore my body in many new and different ways. If it weren't for a certain glass dildo, I'd still be searching for my G-spot. Or maybe not. I probably would have given up in utter frustration long ago. So, at least in MY case, I can say that sex toys have opened up a whole new world of stimulation possibilities for me, and as a result I'm MORE in tune with my body and what it likes.
Posted by: buzzvibe | May 29, 2011 at 09:14 AM
I'm often completely useless for 69. Even before the orgasm, there is that "walking on the clouds moment," and, well, it's a real fight to remain a cunning linguist as I experience that bit of nirvana.
As far as "hand versus machine," I really think it's individual for each person. One should be encouraged to experiment - figure out what works best for them. I, personally, don't think I could ever find something that would work better than my own hand than, well, somebody else. A fleshlight, I've tried it, but I can alter the pressure and hit just those right spots, when those parts are best hit.
But, I usually save my masturbation talk for my own blog ;-)
Posted by: John | May 29, 2011 at 11:23 PM
So pleased I'm not the only one who totally loses the plot during 69. I love both 6 and 9... I just would rather give both my complete and undivided attention - which means one at a time. And toys? Is there anything more fun? Seriously! Just because we're adults, doesn't mean we don't get to keep playing with toys. I may have grown older, but I doubt I'll ever really 'grow up' (at least, not in the sense that I'll ever be able to take myself seriously). But that's a Good Thing, right? ;)
Posted by: The other Kit | June 03, 2011 at 02:33 AM