It's April Fool's Day

You can thank me for reminding you before any one had a chance to make you look ridiculous.

I had thought, briefly, about writing a long, heart-wrenching post about how I'm actually a man and thanking you all for sharing your intimate va-jay-jay stories with me this past year but then I realized that, while I am NOT a man, I AM, in fact, a VIRGO and we are much too practical to get into all of that practical joking stuff - which is Ironic.

It's true though, I hate practical jokes. 

I also hate being tickled...

and Birds.

Here's a funny story about practical jokes that demonstrates why I hate them - because they're REALLY mean.  I don't think anyone is the victim of a practical joke and walks away thinking, "Wow, they must have done that to me because I'm so cool."  But maybe that's my Middle School insecurity coming out.

Last year my sister made Baking soda cookies for her kids.  They're DISGUSTING.  My sister NEVER gives her kids sweets so when her kids opened their lunches and saw cookies they were so excited that they CHOKED them down.

Later she asked them, "How were the cookies?"

And her oldest said, "Mommy, I don't want to hurt your feelings but they tasted a little funny.  But I was so excited to have a cookie I ate it anyway."

My sister felt like an ASS.  As she should have.

Practical jokes suck.

Happy April Fools Day - now that I've completely robbed the day of any fun for you.

Sorry about that.  I'm a Virgo.

 

Comments

[By Word of Mouth]

Reminded me of the story of the guy who ate cookies in the kitchen after getting home from a trip. Was rushed to the ER due to poisoning. Finally worked out he had consumed decorative cookies that had been shellacked ... he apparently was so used to his wife's bad cooking, he consumed them even tho they tasted awful! But at least she didn't do it on purpose!!!

[Vix]

Oh the poor kiddies, I feel an overwhelming desire to send some tasty treats their way! I agree, a light hearted trick is ok, but anything that involves consumption or pain is not cool.

I am also very pleased to hear that you hate birds; I thought I was the only one. They are dirty, shifty, pesky, evil looking creatures. What's worse, they invite themselves in without being asked and are too stupid to find the way out, which renders them frightened and incontinent so you are left cleaning up their crap. What is there to like?!

[Sarah]

I am a Taurus. Not much into practical jokes, although I do love funny and do love to laugh. Have a great day, Kit :)

[Don't Make That Face]

Hates: Also birds, the phrase "Git-r-done", the word "panities" and pickles.
Also, I'm an April Fools Day ass because I hate being pranked but have no problem setting my alarm clock for 2:34 a.m. and waking my family up by yelling there's a fire, and making them stand outside. (true story)
www.dontmakethatface.com

[Mrs. MidAtlantic]

I've only once enjoyed a prank. My little brother tried to pull one on me. It backfired, and my mom was the victim of the prank. Needless to say, he was doing MY chores for a week!

[Deacon Blue]

Not sure how an Aries is supposed to feel about practical jokes (I mean, aren't we mostly creative types? Should that mean support?)...but I informed my 5 year old that if she's constantly trying to trick me today (which is what she wants to do) she will have one very surly father. To which she simply asked "what is surly?"

So, I'm probably doomed but at least she got a vocabulary lesson out of it.

(Hey, I also have a fiction blog at http://whethermentales.wordpress.com)

[Andi Sexton]

Kit.. I'm a Taurus. I would have killed you if you were a man! We take our loyalty very seriously...

I love goodhearted jokes and a good prank!

Your Sister? Oh my god she probably felt horrible!!! Poor little kidlets!!!!!! But I laughed my ass off after reading it!!! Oh lordy.

Thanks for the heads up!

[KAT]

I'm also a Virgo and I feel exactly the same way about practical jokes. I think you are right it is the practicality. Also, April Fools is my brothers Bday (who is opposite me in everyday), I feel that he's God practical joke on me...but I love him nonetheless.

[rebekah]

I used to play practical jokes all the time in college - but then my boyfriend pointed out that I only prankes people who were too nice to prank me back. I felt horrible after I realized it was true and have swore off pranking for life.
Ayellowbicycle.blogspot.com

[I'll skip the cake]

My friend is getting married tonight - the ultimate practical "joke"?

[Christine (Hammock_Gal)]

Yeah, sis did deserve to feel like an ass. That was just mean. :o(

Having a laugh at someone's expense is just uncool.

- My sister and her kids were riding ATV's on a beach one day, the oldest, now 27, at time was about 14-15. He had looked back toward his mom, and ran smack into the only thing on the beach. A port-o-potty. Flipped the ATV.

My sister was laughing so hard, she couldn't get it off of him. Now has scar on his leg.

Sure it was laughable to a certain extent, but keep it to yourself.

[Valentina@baby quilts]

Love to make and to take practical jokes (must be the Libra in me) but mine somehow always fire back. One April Fools I sat my boys (5 and 10 at the time)around me and told them 'the family secret': they had a sister, but the piano fell on top of her and killed her. They were horrified of course and cried their eyes off. I couldn't stop laughing for days until one of my son's teachers told me that he didn't know and how sorry he was for our loss - as you can imagine I had difficult time first explaining and then convincing him that I am suited for a parent.

[Sarah]

I love a well planned joke. as long as I'm not on the receiving end.

[Carol]

I'm a Cancer and I don't like April Fools day either. Maybe it is because My Lover's and my 1st date was on April 1st 17 years ago and he likes to tease me from time to time that 'this is all just a big joke'...I'll show him joke!

[Lisa]

I hate birds and thought I was the only one. They make my skin crawl. I don't mind them in the yard but they can not come close to me or I freak. Bird shows. No. Ditto the bird house.

Love a good joke, laugh at myself daily.

[Tracy]

Ha ha! My husband always teases me that you're probably some old dude laughing at every body! That would have been a funny prank:)

[Just K]

Here's a fun but harmless joke, particularly on co-workers.

Get a highlighter (preferably a bright blue or pink one) & leave the cap off for a couple of days so it dries out. Then cover the writing part of the highlighter with clear tape WELL but carefully so the tape is not obvious....you don't want any part of the highlighter to actually mark on something. Walk up to someone with a white shirt, and then proceed to quickly scribble on their shirt with the highlighter. They'll totally freak out, but no harm will be done to their shirt.

Hooowaaaawaaawaaa (evil laugh).

[Brenda]

Here's a fantastic joke to play at work besides the usual tape the phone trick....

Find the paper shredder and fill every drawer with paper from it... then call the taped phone, ask for something, and wait for fun! Especially fun for birthdays. Interwoven crepe paper is also a mice touch!

I suggest you use it sparingly and have bosses who unerstand fun! And go easy on the poor soul you prank. I once had to swim my way through balloons and more....trying to get into my office to answer the phone. I could have fired them, but then I would have had to hire replacements.... Gah!!

[MG]

I also hate birds and practical jokes. Some punk girls in my class in middle school played horrible jokes otherwise known as pranks on me. Seriously scarred me for life.

[Paxochka]

I'm laughing so much at your sister's joke even though those poor kids need a damn real cookie.

[Paxochka]

p.s. For April Fool's I almost posted on twitter that I was a mom trapped in some guy's basement and forced to tweet for his amusement. But then I realised April Fool's day falls on a different day and no one would have gotten it anyway :)