He MAY Have Threatened to Divorce Me If I Told You This...

So let's not tell him okay?

Hey Honey!  Move Along, nothing to read here...

Is he gone?

Ok, several years ago my husband experienced this incident where his upper lip swelled up ginormously huge.

He went to the ER but the doctor could not diagnose it.  The swelling subsided overnight but the Daffy Duck jokes took a bit longer.

Over the past 10 years it's happened a few times and again, no one can diagnose it.  Some doctors have said that it's an allergy but it usually happens if he gets hit in the mouth with something - not in response to a certain type of food or other substance.

Anyway, Easter morning it was FINALLY time for us to end our month long hiatus from sex.  We were both feeling better - AND feeling horny enough that we would have faced the bubonic plague to get a little.

The kids were downstairs watching a movie and cramming candy into their mouths as fast as they could before we came downstairs and took it away from them.  There was no way they would come looking for us.

Foreplay was fun but then the husband overzealously grabbed me and pulled me toward his mouth. *SMASH* went his lip.  And then all I could think of was "If it swells up today before 24 people get to my house I'm going to have to tell them all that it was a sex injury."  And I may have said that out loud.  Which MAY have put an end to the foreplay.  But, as I mentioned, there was no way a little swelling was going to come between us and he managed to concentrate despite the tingling in his lip.

Luckily the tingling went away after a little while, his lip did not swell up and we did not have to explain to my mother and her sister what happened to his face.

Although it IS a funny story.

 

Comments

[L.A.C.E.]

LOL I've had a few "injuries" as well. Hard explaining away when the kids notice. Although, maybe scarring my 13yr old from EVER having sex is not such a bad thing lol.

[kim]

I wasn't thinking it swelled up when he got hit in the face, I was thinking his lip swelled when certain body parts touched his face. But then I realized that it has only happend every now and again. ;)

[Crystal]

Reminds me of the time when my hubby's nose was broke and, well my name goes in the space below so I'll close by saying it's not just y'all.

[Sasstown]

I could be the queen of funny bloggers if my husband did not read my blog. It's quite a pity.

[Bobbi]

It's too bad it didn't swell up, I would've like to have heard the excuse you all gave his family!

[Betty]

Random information time! It could actually be an allergy to a chemical reaction from being hit. I'm allergic to cold winds and certain types of exercise. (I know it's weird, really weird, but it's true.) If the two of you care enough to be curious, try Benadryl the next time it happens to see if it brings the swelling down though it might make him sleepy.

Also, I LOVE bragging about sex injuries to the right friends. Somehow, they are the best injuries!

[a kiss with a fist]

Was in a long term relationship with someone that also suffered from a swollen upper lip on occasion. It was random and also without reason and Benadryl always helped the situation. Doctors said it could be due to an allergy and/or stress since it didn't have any specific pattern.

There was no kissing though with a lip that size... enormous.

And anyone who ever saw it always asked if I'd finally smacked that shit eating grin off for good. Something about a perfect smile on a handsome face that makes you want to smack it, apparently...at least our friends thought so,hahaa. (I never did though)

[Emily]

Creepy! My husband has the same issue. We have never associated it with injury OR allergy, but we have taken him to the DR every time and they couldn't figure out what it was either.