Last Wednesday I was running around like a chicken-with-my-head-chopped-off trying to get ready for my trip. My flight wasn't until 2 so I didn't have to leave my house until noon so I had completely left packing until the morning.
It was school vacation week (we have a week in February and a week in April) so the kids were home and it was my husband's last day with help so I let him sleep in for a bit. Eventually I had to wake him up so I could shower and change and pack.
When I got out of the shower he was sitting on the side of the bed. "Hi." he said nonchalantly.
He wasn't fooling me. The look on his face said, "Last chance sex" and there was no mistaking that look in his eyes.
"They're all awake." I protested.
"They're watching Toy Story." he said, brandishing a toy of my own. He SURE knows how to sweet talk me.
I glanced at the clock. It was getting late. "I can't." I said.
"You can!" he argued.
I hesitated. He put the toy away.
Suddenly the door to our room flew open and my 5 year old came in. She had climbed the stairs as stealthy as a thief!
My husband paled - obviously imagining what she would have seen if I'd given in. She walked over to me, threw her arms around my towelled waist, turned and walked out.
Now that she was downstairs I relented - it was last chance sex for me too - at least until I can figure out how to get Carmen through airport security. Halfway through - ACTUALLY, let me be clear - I WAS DONE - but he wasn't - we heard her on the steps again. He froze, a look of panic on his face.
Luckily I had pulled the nightstand in front of the door - still, we didn't want her to try to open the door and have to explain why it wouldn't open.
We yelled for her to go downstairs. She did but I thought my husband had lost his edge. I was ready to get up and finish packing but he recovered. I might have been able to grab 'another one' if I hadn't been straining my ears to hear more footsteps and silently telling my him, "Just get it over with will you!!"
That really puts a damper on things.
Afterwards, as we stood there getting dressed, my daughter came upstairs AGAIN. "Honey," my husband told her, "please go back downstairs, Mommy and I are getting dressed."
She did, but later when he went downstairs she turned to him and asked, "Daddy, didn't you ALREADY get dressed today?"
My husband quickly answered, "Yes, but I had a hole in my underwear and had to change them."
My 8yo turned to him and guffawed. We still have no idea if it's because he caught my husband in a lie, or if it's because holey underwear is funny to an 8 year old.
And of course we can't ask.
P.S. If I'd known my husband could lie so quickly I would have been a lot more concerned about Betty.
I would have been laughing at the holey underwear with the 8 year old. My fingers are crossed for you that it was just the underwear he was laughing at! Sex is hard after you have a child.... and mine is only 8 months. So excited about what I get to look forward to!
Posted by: danielle | March 01, 2011 at 09:18 AM
Ah, sex on the fly...story of my life...if we can get through it with ONLY banging at the door we're doing pretty good!
Posted by: Nicole | March 01, 2011 at 10:22 AM
Ahhh yes! The "quick, hurry up, they will hear" sex!! It is the sex of parents everywhere, but you have to take it when you can it!! Heehee!! Start thinking of better stories, boys his age talk! They grow up too fast now!!
Posted by: Wicked | March 01, 2011 at 11:01 AM
Omg that's funny. My daughter is the same way. My hubbs will kiss me and she's on alert finding reasons to hang around. And don't bother shutting the door when she's around...even if I'm changing clothes or whatever she will knock on the door demanding to come in....then ask if we are having sex!!!!
Posted by: brandy | March 01, 2011 at 11:18 AM
Lemme tell you - our kids are both in college - 1 soon to graduate. There is no way anything is going on between the sheets with us...THERE IS JUST NO PRIVACY WHAT-SO-EVER when they are home. And for ALL THAT COLLEGE TUITION (2 at once for 2 years) they are HOME more than they are at school! GO FIGURE!
Posted by: Jane M | March 01, 2011 at 01:09 PM
I wonder if i will ever be able to have this kind of sex...because i am LOUD. i will have to make sure my house is well-sound-proofed before i have kids...lol.
Posted by: Shaina | March 01, 2011 at 05:16 PM
We have two grown daughters living with us. The oldest has asked that we change candles, so that she doesn't associate the Apple Cinnamon aroma with "mom sex". :)
Posted by: chuck | March 01, 2011 at 06:43 PM