Today I was hoping to post a guest post but I don't have any in the queue. (If you sent me one and I lost it - please resend!)
If you have an idea for a spicy post (published anonymously or not) write it up and send it over!
In the mean time, I'll tell you a story that I *ahem* heard in my youth.
Once apon a time there was this cute 16 year old girl, naive in the ways of love. But she had a crazy crush on a LOSER who lived in the town where she spent her summers.
She SHOULD NOT have had a crush on this boy. He was greasy, with long hair and absolutely no regard for anyone or anything. I suppose that's what she liked about him - his bad boy ways.
Anyway, she flirted and fawned over him until it was overly apparent to everyone that she had a crazy crush and everyone was appropriately nauseated.
One day everyone was hanging out and the girl's brother walked up to her and said, "Hey I'm going swimming, will you hold this for me?" - and handed her 35 cents that he had gotten by collecting redeemable bottles and cans out of the trash cans on the beach. It wasn't much but it was enough for a candy bar and the boy was only 12.
The girl took the money and put it on the picnic table. A couple of minutes later she noticed her crush walking away from the table - and that the money was gone.
"Give it back." she told him.
"What?" he sneered.
"The money." she told him. "Put it back."
"I don't have any money." he told her looking straight into her eyes.
"It's THIR-TY-FIVE cents." she said slowly making sure he understood that he was selling her love for $0.35. He was a 15 year old scumbag so of course he didn't understand.
"I didn't take it." he said.
"Fine." she said watching him walk away and wondering for the first time - but not the last - how a boy could be so dumb.
Later that day a guy friend of hers said to her, "Eric bet me a dollar that he could get you to give him a blow job." She laughed.
That night they sat around the fire on the beach, ten or fifteen of them, like they always did. Eric walked up to her. "Do you want to go for a walk?" he asked.
"Sure." she said. The friend who had told her about the wager looked at her questioningly but she looked away.
They walked down the beach a bit. She could tell that they were being followed by his friends who were probably hoping to figure out what a blow job even was.
He stopped and faced her. She looked up at him. "Eric?" she asked.
"Yeah." he said.
She raised her voice and practically sang "There is NO FUCKING WAY I am giving you a blow job." She walked back to the fire while his friends rolled in the sand laughing.
In the end he traded $.035 for the $1 he possibly would have won. Although he may have had to spend it on salve. So maybe he came out ahead.
That's a great, ahem, fictional story ;)
Do you seriously want saucy stories? Because I'm in abundance.
Posted by: Lady Estrogen | March 23, 2011 at 09:45 AM
BWAAAHAHAHAHA! Awesome story! Wish I had one to share but I was so emotionally immature for such a long time. Oh wait...I do have one that I can think of. Where would I send it to?
Posted by: Sharonheg.wordpress.com | March 23, 2011 at 10:27 AM
I totally dated the worst people in high school. Including one dumb-as-toast fisherman that my parents HATED.
Posted by: Mrs. MidAtlantic | March 23, 2011 at 11:27 AM
Hahahahaah! Amazing.
Posted by: Jasmine | March 23, 2011 at 01:54 PM
Love it!!! And high school boys can be such JERKS!
Posted by: Michi | March 23, 2011 at 01:56 PM
If you are looking for a guest blogger, just let me know I would be more than happy to oblige. Just email me at [email protected]
Posted by: CharlotteJ | March 23, 2011 at 10:12 PM
At least that's two things steady about boys and men, they're always looking to win a bet and certainly always looking for a blow job!
Posted by: Nicole | March 24, 2011 at 06:06 AM
I laughed so hard when I read the end, serves the LOSER right!
Posted by: Kiarelle | March 24, 2011 at 03:51 PM
A dollar for a blowjob? Was it the 1920s?
Posted by: Paxochka | March 28, 2011 at 09:16 AM