1. Last week I had a dream that my husband and I were in a house full of 20-somethings. I was in the livingroom and he was in the adjoining bedroom. I peeked into the bedroom and he was in bed with some girl and another couple. "WHAT are you DOING?" I asked him. He answered, "They don't mind, come join us!" I'm STILL not speaking to him for cheating on me.
2. For a while I was eating a Sweet and Salty Peanut Butter Granola Bar for breakfast - washed down with a Diet Coke. Y'know, the breakfast of champions. I knew it was TERRIBLE but it was a pretty efficient way to get calories into my stomach in the morning when I can't just tell my children and their bus driver to "please wait while mommy makes a nutritious breakfast."
Unfortunately I'd crash from the sugar high by about 9:15 so it wasn't a good use of calories. I've started making a broccolli omelet for breakfast: 1 cup of broccolli, 1 jumbo egg, 1 Tbsp milk in the microwave - served on a flour tortilla.
Last week my husband walked in and said, "UGH! That broccolli smells TERRIBLE!"
I hadn't eaten yet and MAY have been cranky because I replied, "That broccolli is while I'll be DANCING on your grave!"
"That may be," he said, "But you don't have to say it with a smile."
3. Every morning I walk the three older kids to the bus stop and leave the 4yo inside with her dad. Last week I said, "Can you go wake up Daddy?" as I was walking out. "No." she answered.
When I came back in she was in the same spot but told me, "I woke Daddy with my cock-a-doodle-doo."
Later, my husband told me that she'd stood at the bottom of the staircase CROWING for about 5 minutes until he told her he was awake.
4. My son has a hard head. A VERY hard head. He made a joke that he was going to start head butting things. My husband said, "it's not good to do that." I added, "because even though your head stops, your brain keeps going and slams into your skull."
He said, "You mean a concussion?"
Uh, yeah.
5. My 7yo son woke up with INSANE bed head today. His blonde hair was sticking out on both sides of his head. I said, "Have you SEEN your bed head? You look like one of those penguins at the aquarium."
He said, "You mean a macaroni penguin?"
Uh, yeah.
6. My 6yo son got new Zigtech sneakers for Christmas but he can't tie them. He was walking around with the laces dragging and I said, "Don't walk with the laces dragging or you'll step on the plastic things at the end and break them."
He said, "You mean the aglet?"
Uh, yeah.
7. I make my sons do flashcards every day afterschool to help them with their math facts. I set the timer for 75 seconds and make them do it three times. Sometimes they fight me. When they do, I set the kitchen time for 4 minutes and when it goes off I tell them that if they'd just done it instead of fighting me, they'd already be done.
Saturday night I was exhausted. I had NO desire to fool around but my husband knocked on the door to my office anyway. I turned him away. He went to bed. A half hour later I came to bed. He started kissing and hugging me. I could tell that it would take less time to 'do it' than to convince him that I was too tired. So I made the most of it. I'm a trooper like that.
8. My sons have been taking tae kwon do. The other day my adorable 4yo daughter walked up to me in her 'black with pink hearts all over it' bathrobe, put her hands together, bowed and kicked me in the shin. It hurt.
9. Tonight my 5yo daughter was taking a bath. She was playing with toys in the tub by herself. My 4yo was kneeling beside the tub playing and waiting her turn. Suddenly there was a HUGE splash and much sputtering. Somehow the 4yo had fallen in.
10. I was at a business meeting last week and talk turned to Social Media. "Does anyone even GET Twitter?" someone asked. "I like it." I said.
I think they think that I am a total loser.
This cheers me up and makes me laugh each time :D
I didn't know it was called an aglet. We all have something to learn from 6 year olds ;)
#10: ahh, the contraints of blogging dangerously and anonymously so. "I like it."
Posted by: Madasarainbow | February 21, 2011 at 09:09 AM
Aglet! Thank your brilliant son. My brain is impervious to racking sometimes.
Posted by: mrtl | February 21, 2011 at 09:18 AM
Any chance he learned about aglets from Phineas and Ferb? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVvd6iuTvSo
About #10: My anonymity online is slowly but surely fading away. Not to the point where I'll sign my blog posts with my real name, but my co-workers now know about my blog/Twitter activities. My family now knows too. Granted, I've never used my blog or Twitter as a means to complain about work or family. (I feel you shouldn't say anything in public social media that you wouldn't say in a face-to-face room full of people.) Still, it's a little odd to think that a post about Eden Fantasys (which I do every so often) might be read by my boss or my mother!
Posted by: TechyDad | February 21, 2011 at 09:54 AM
This brightened my day, I couldn't stop laughing over #8.
Posted by: Knackeredmama | February 21, 2011 at 10:04 AM
Hee hee hee, I love love love our daughter's cockadoodledo!
I have had similar blank looks at work, when twitter comes up and I say yes I do it, people look at me like I am a blond befuddled tween. Uh no, catch up people!
Posted by: Alfredliveshere | February 21, 2011 at 11:02 AM
Your too funny! Can I pls borrow your daughter some morning.
Posted by: Charlotte | February 21, 2011 at 01:15 PM
These is hilarious!!
Posted by: Tara | February 21, 2011 at 01:37 PM
Aglet!!!! Looks like you guys are Phineas and Ferb fans too!!!
Posted by: J | February 21, 2011 at 02:02 PM
No one not on twitter gets twitter. Which is good because we don't want them in the cool kids club, right?
Posted by: Paxochka | February 23, 2011 at 12:11 AM
I agree with the last comment. Unless you are ON Twitter, then you just don't get it. Same with blogging. Unless you blog, you can't understand what the big deal is. Oh well. We're cooler than that. :)
Posted by: Courtney K. | February 28, 2011 at 05:11 PM