BloggingDangerously

The Difference Between Men and Women

When my husband encounters gastro-intestinal distress, he thinks, "Do we have any Immodium?"

I think, "Rapid Weight Loss for the WIN!"

 

Why Do Father-Son Teaching Moments Seem to Correspond to my Migraines?

When I get hungry I get cranky.  REALLY, REALLY CRANKY.

Today we went to the Museum of Science in Boston MAINLY so that we could use a $15 groupon at a restaurant nearby.

Museum admission is so expensive that for my family of six it makes more sense to buy a membership than buy individual passes.  The membership we chose comes with free passes to Omni movies, Planetarium shows, etc.  And it includes free parking (2 hours) in the museum garage.

But it's $170. 

Since we had only planned to spend a couple of hours at the museum and then go to dinner we didn't bring snacks for the kids.  But, as children, they didn't stick to the plan so we ended up buying popcorn and juice for the bargain price of $24.  And my husband got a salad.  Who the hell buys anything from the sneeze salad bar at the Museum of Science? Never mind a $10 salad that takes 15 minutes to eat when you've got tired kids on your hands?

SO we sit down at the table with our $nack$ and my husband asks, "Do you want a bite of my salad?" 

I don't think you can just grab a bite of a hardboiled egg.  That's the kind of thing you sort of need to be in the mood for.

So I say, "No. Thanks."

Then the kids finish sucking down their juiceboxes and still have 90% of their popcorn left so they start whining about how they want more $70 juiceboxes and I say "no."

And my husband offers me ANOTHER bite of his salad.  And I say, "No, thanks."

And he says, "Because you seem to be getting that way you get when you get low blood sugar. Y'know, CRANKY."

And, MAINLY, because my arms weren't long enough to do permanent damage I said, "I'm not cranky."

And my 8yo, who was sitting beside my husband looks up at him, gives an EXAGGERATED head nod in my direction and does something with his eyebrows that indicates that he agrees with my husband that I am, in fact CRANKY.

And I say, "You're supposed to do those things when the person you're eyeballing about can't see you."

And I add, "I'm not hungry, but we're supposed to watch the movie over there (left) in 15 minutes, so we REALLY don't have time to go back to the museum.  I thought we were going to come in here and get 2 cookies and a water for $5 and now we're sitting here with a whole dinner's price worth of food and everyone is whining that they finished their juice even though I told them to wait to open their juice until we sat down, so MAYBE that's why I'm CRANKY.

And my 8yo turns to my husband, throws his arms up in the air in victory and says, "So we were RIGHT!  You ARE cranky!"

At which point, my husband, sensing the imminent end of my son's young existence, nearly choked on his eggs and grabbed my son saying, "No!  You don't say THAT!"

 

P.S. Don't even get me started on the story about how the restaurant with the $15 Groupon we spent $260 to use had a 45 minute wait when got there so we had to go to a restaurant around the corner for $83.  ARGH.

 

 

 

Advertising

So after almost a year here I finally got around to putting ads on my site.  Mainly because I REALLY want to go to Blogher and those tickets don't buy themselves... unfortunately.

Also, I found this fabulous company that offers deals on wine and seriously, if they just paid me in product I'd be psyched.

In addition to the ads that you'll see in my sidebar, I'm also offering ad space to bloggers looking for more exposure.  Email me or DM me for details if you're interested.

And I hope to see you at Blogher!

Love,

Kit

Ten Things That Have Made Me Laugh Lately

1.  Last week I had a dream that my husband and I were in a house full of 20-somethings.  I was in the livingroom and he was in the adjoining bedroom.  I peeked into the bedroom and he was in bed with some girl and another couple.  "WHAT are you DOING?" I asked him.  He answered, "They don't mind, come join us!"  I'm STILL not speaking to him for cheating on me.

2. For a while I was eating a Sweet and Salty Peanut Butter Granola Bar for breakfast - washed down with a Diet Coke.  Y'know, the breakfast of champions.  I knew it was TERRIBLE but it was a pretty efficient way to get calories into my stomach in the morning when I can't just tell my children and their bus driver to "please wait while mommy makes a nutritious breakfast."

Unfortunately I'd crash from the sugar high by about 9:15 so it wasn't a good use of calories.  I've started making a broccolli omelet for breakfast: 1 cup of broccolli, 1 jumbo egg, 1 Tbsp milk in the microwave - served on a flour tortilla.

Last week my husband walked in and said, "UGH! That broccolli smells TERRIBLE!"

I hadn't eaten yet and MAY have been cranky because I replied, "That broccolli is while I'll be DANCING on your grave!"

"That may be," he said, "But you don't have to say it with a smile."

3. Every morning I walk the three older kids to the bus stop and leave the 4yo inside with her dad.  Last week I said, "Can you go wake up Daddy?" as I was walking out.  "No." she answered.

When I came back in she was in the same spot but told me, "I woke Daddy with my cock-a-doodle-doo."

Later, my husband told me that she'd stood at the bottom of the staircase CROWING for about 5 minutes until he told her he was awake.

4. My son has a hard head.  A VERY hard head.  He made a joke that he was going to start head butting things.  My husband said, "it's not good to do that." I added, "because even though your head stops, your brain keeps going and slams into your skull."

He said, "You mean a concussion?"

Uh, yeah.

5. My 7yo son woke up with INSANE bed head today.  His blonde hair was sticking out on both sides of his head.  I said, "Have you SEEN your bed head?  You look like one of those penguins at the aquarium."

He said, "You mean a macaroni penguin?"

Uh, yeah.

6.  My 6yo son got new Zigtech sneakers for Christmas but he can't tie them.  He was walking around with the laces dragging and I said, "Don't walk with the laces dragging or you'll step on the plastic things at the end and break them."

He said, "You mean the aglet?"

Uh, yeah.

7. I make my sons do flashcards every day afterschool to help them with their math facts.  I set the timer for 75 seconds and make them do it three times.  Sometimes they fight me.  When they do, I set the kitchen time for 4 minutes and when it goes off I tell them that if they'd just done it instead of fighting me, they'd already be done.

Saturday night I was exhausted.  I had NO desire to fool around but my husband knocked on the door to my office anyway.  I turned him away.  He went to bed.  A half hour later I came to bed.  He started kissing and hugging me.  I could tell that it would take less time to 'do it' than to convince him that I was too tired.  So I made the most of it.  I'm a trooper like that.

8. My sons have been taking tae kwon do.  The other day my adorable 4yo daughter walked up to me in her 'black with pink hearts all over it' bathrobe, put her hands together, bowed and kicked me in the shin.  It hurt.

9. Tonight my 5yo daughter was taking a bath.  She was playing with toys in the tub by herself.  My 4yo was kneeling beside the tub playing and waiting her turn.  Suddenly there was a HUGE splash and much sputtering.  Somehow the 4yo had fallen in.

10. I was at a business meeting last week and talk turned to Social Media.  "Does anyone even GET Twitter?" someone asked.  "I like it." I said. 

I think they think that I am a total loser.

 

I didn't mean it the way it sounded.

On Valentine's Day the Boston Globe showcased 4 couples that had each been married over 50 years. 

It was an adorable article that you can read here.  I like the part where each guy basically admits that their wife is in charge.  I think every husband realizes that at some point.

I read parts of the article to my husband. 

At the end, I said, "I love you, and no offense, but I'm glad we're not going to be married 59 years."

Luckily he laughed.

 

P.S. This is the very last week of voting for the Bloggies.  PLEASE go vote right now.  You can only vote once.  After you vote for BEST NEW blog, scroll down and vote for Weblog of the Year.

I got home from a school committee meeting at 11pm tonight and my husband gave me 'The look' but I gave him the wave off saying, "I have to BLOG."  If I can pass up sex, the least you can do is vote! ;) THANK YOU!