Whoever called it Christmas Vacation Didn't Have Kids

Holy hell.

Last Thursday I took the afternoon off and spent it in my son's classroom.  Then I came home, grabbed my daughters and braved the grocery store.

Then I came home, made dinner, put the kids to bed and, realizing that all of my wrapping was done, sat down to watch 9 episodes of Criminal Minds on DVR.  I made it through 1.

Why? Because my husband, who can watch back-to-back epidodes of Walking Dead, sat down to watch CM with me and kept chattering on about how formulaic the shows are, etc. until the episode ended and I threw him the remote and came upstairs to Twitter.

Friday was a marathon day of cooking.  Apple pies, cioppino, etc. and then at 2, 12 people showed up for the festivities (that's 18 total people - 11 of whom were under 8yo.)

We had appetizers, we had crafts, we had a talent show! We had carolling, we had presents, we even had SANTA! (despite NORAD's assertions that he was significantly east of our location.)

And then the crowd left and the 4 month old dishwasher broke! (I HATE SEARS!!!) And I washed 18 people's worth of dishes by hand.  And then we played Santa and went to bed.

And THEN it was Christmas morning!!!  And we played with our toys and opened new clothes!  It was wonderful.

We spent the day at my sister's house.

Sunday we had a BLIZZARD.  16 inches of snow, 50mph winds and intermittent power outages.  Downdrafts down the chimney nearly blew the fire out but it was SO cozy.

And then Monday came.  I had to work this week because I recently started a new job and have no vacation time.  It's absurd that I'm working because I'm in sales and none of my customer's is working but IT GIVES ME AN EXCUSE TO HIDE IN MY OFFICE.

Because Monday afternoon at 4pm the door to my office flew open and in walked 4 dejected looking children.  My husband who is normally the gatekeeper to my office was out shoveling the 16 inches of snow off the walkway.

The oldest, spoke up, "We're bored."

"Get out." I said.  (I'm a very sympathetic mommy.)

"No. REALLY." he continued. "We're bored."

"You're bored?  It's the FIRST day of vacation.  Not only do you have all of your old toys but you have a WHOLE bunch of NEW toys!  How can you be bored?"

"I only got a couple of toys."

"You got Beybladz, you got a football, you got legos..."

"Those weren't from Santa."

"You got lots more from Santa!"

Tuesday was worse.  Tuesday they didn't even make it until 4pm.  They started fighting at 7:30 am and went downhill from there.  At 6pm my 4yo was yelling "I HATE YOU!" at my 6yo because he was throwing things at her.  Both of them got timeouts.

I had planned to take them to see Tangled on New Year's Eve followed by dinner at Uno's.  They're such little monsters right now the only place I want to take them is to the front steps of their school and drop them off for next Monday.  It's okay if it's 19 degrees out, right?

 

Comments

[Sasha]

Oh, boy. I hear ya. I keep telling the Drama Queen that her school is right up the block and I will find a way to get her inside. She said she'll hide in the supply closet, like Junie B. Jones. I said, GOOD. As long as it's not MY supply closet, I don't care. And I've been threatening the 3 year old with military school. Mr. Sasha thinks I'm kidding.

It's almost Monday...it's almost Monday....

I have a brandie new bottle of Bailey's. Consider a shot poured for you. Cheers!

[kim]

I'm loading my 3 in your car as I type. Really. Or leaving them at your door, ringing the doorbell and running. Either way, I'm good.

[Kristen]

Criminal Minds is my favorite ever. I have a major thing for Agent Hotchner.

[Mel]

I've got 5 kids with me. I actually only own 2 of them. There are two 11 yo's and three 7 yo's.

I just really want everyone to get the hell away from me. I can't wait for the holidays to be O.V.E.R.

[TechyDad]

Every year I work on Christmas and New Year's. I work in IT so I get a lot done without a lot of support calls coming in. Plus, I can use those days off for other things (like a trip to Disney World).

I completely sympathize about the "bored with toys lying around" complaints. NHL will tell me he has nothing to do because he wants to play DS or Wii and we won't let him. (Ignoring that he was playing it for the past 4 hours or so and needed to have it surgically removed from his hands.)

I point to the huge mound of toys on the floor. (Seriously, how'd they get this many toys?!! We certainly didn't buy them that many. I think they've started self-reproducing.) I suggest he plays with some of those, but he whines that he doesn't want to. I think next time, I'll respond with "great, then you won't mind if we donate these toys to some needy kids, would you" while brandishing a garbage bag. Knowing NHL, those toys will suddenly become the most interesting toys in the entire world. Either that, or the Giant Toy Pile will reduce in size a bit before it consumes the entire house.

[Robyn]

THANK YOU, I agree completely!! Holy hell is right... Why, why, WHY do the kids need 2 weeks of vacation (Ive got 4 myself as well)?? So ludicrous! I'm so ready for Monday to come already, and back to all of our regularly scheduled programs, thank goodness!

[amerikanka]

Oh, it was great fun to read this article! I don't have children yet, but I dream of having many children! I love them very much, enjoy playing with them and I like that "hell", like you call it!But,of course, caused by children!

[msjanetjones]

I agree fully!

Here is a link for my blog on this same exact topic.

http://msjanetjones.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2010-12-23T16%3A18%3A00-06%3A00&max-results=1

[andygirl]

do fire stations still take kids no questions asked? perhaps just during the holidays. quick! your window is shrinking!

;)