BloggingDangerously

Happy New Year

2010 has been an amazing year for me.

Forget about the fact that my beautiful children are getting older every day and while that does not make me love them any more, I love the fact that they can interact with me at higher and higher levels.

This year we went to Disney World.  We had a BLAST.

This year we went camping.  My BABY hiked 2.5 miles. (Granted it was only the promise of icecream at the bottom that kept her going.)

My 8yo played FOOTBALL.  My 7yo started FIRST GRADE.  My 5you started KINDERGARTEN.  How is this even POSSIBLE?

This year I quit the job I'd had for TWELVE years to work for a company that is barely 12 years old to sell technology that is not even 3 years old.  I have been here for 6 weeks and I am terrified, nervous, excited, energized and very, very hopeful.  Every day I start out thinking, "I can't do this." and then taking a deep breath and then Doing it.  It's hard and it's scary but I think that's true of most things that make us better.

This year I started this blog.  And I met AMAZING people.  And I can't thank you all enough for the support and comments and everything.  Even when I did stupid things like tell my son there is no Santa Claus.

This afternoon I am taking my crew to see Tangled in a theater.  Then we are going out for dinner to celebrate the New Year!  (Don't worry, we'll be home by 7:30 eastern and I'll be online for #wineparty)

I hope that 2011 is everything you hope for and more!

Love,

Kit

 

220 Volts* of Marital Bliss

Before you get all smarmy on me and think, "there she goes again..." let me start by saying, it's not a vibrator.

And I know you won't believe me when I tell you, It's BETTER than a Vibrator.

At some point you have to turn a vibrator off, but this?  This goes ALL NIGHT LONG.

And a vibrator may only pleasure one of you.  This gets the job done for BOTH of you.

If you have one, you TOTALLY know what I'm talking about.  If you don't and you have any Christmas money left, you NEED this.

That's right, an ELECTRIC BLANKET.  But not just any electric blanket... this blanket is the softest microfleece with DUAL controls.  Or, his and her pleasure dials as I like to call them.

This is how it happened...

A couple of years ago I hurt my back - so I slept with a heating pad.  Once I'd discovered the fabulosity of climbing into a warm bed with a heat source I couldn't give it up so for the past couple of winters I turned a heating pad on before I climb into my bed.  Or, I should say, my husband turns it on because he knows it lures me into bed.

The other night I went into our room to get ready for bed and glanced at the heating pad controller to make sure it was on.  It was.  But then my husband said, "Get ready to be disappointed" and lifted the covers of our bed to reveal that the heating pad was on HIS SIDE!

I gasped. 

"Don't worry" he said, and slid it back over to my side.

"It is nice climbing into a warm bed." he said.  "Too bad they don't make electric blankets with dual controls."

"They do!" I told him.  "I saw one at Walmart but it was $50."

"I'll check it out tomorrow." he said.

And the next day, he came home with this.  (Note: he got it at Target and it was $85.)

That night he turned it on while we brushed our  teeth and then I climbed into bed.  And it was SO AMAZING that I SHUDDERED uncontrollably.

"I think I just orgasmed" I told him.  He laughed.

I giggled with pleasure for the next 10 minutes.  He thought I was exaggerating.

Then he climbed into bed, and my 6'4", 250lb husband giggled like a girl.

"OH MY GOD." he called out.

"I TOLD YOU." I said.

And the two of us lay there quivering in pleasure until we fell asleep.

 

* technically it's 2, 110V circuits, not 1, 220V circuit. 

Whoever called it Christmas Vacation Didn't Have Kids

Holy hell.

Last Thursday I took the afternoon off and spent it in my son's classroom.  Then I came home, grabbed my daughters and braved the grocery store.

Then I came home, made dinner, put the kids to bed and, realizing that all of my wrapping was done, sat down to watch 9 episodes of Criminal Minds on DVR.  I made it through 1.

Why? Because my husband, who can watch back-to-back epidodes of Walking Dead, sat down to watch CM with me and kept chattering on about how formulaic the shows are, etc. until the episode ended and I threw him the remote and came upstairs to Twitter.

Friday was a marathon day of cooking.  Apple pies, cioppino, etc. and then at 2, 12 people showed up for the festivities (that's 18 total people - 11 of whom were under 8yo.)

We had appetizers, we had crafts, we had a talent show! We had carolling, we had presents, we even had SANTA! (despite NORAD's assertions that he was significantly east of our location.)

And then the crowd left and the 4 month old dishwasher broke! (I HATE SEARS!!!) And I washed 18 people's worth of dishes by hand.  And then we played Santa and went to bed.

And THEN it was Christmas morning!!!  And we played with our toys and opened new clothes!  It was wonderful.

We spent the day at my sister's house.

Sunday we had a BLIZZARD.  16 inches of snow, 50mph winds and intermittent power outages.  Downdrafts down the chimney nearly blew the fire out but it was SO cozy.

And then Monday came.  I had to work this week because I recently started a new job and have no vacation time.  It's absurd that I'm working because I'm in sales and none of my customer's is working but IT GIVES ME AN EXCUSE TO HIDE IN MY OFFICE.

Because Monday afternoon at 4pm the door to my office flew open and in walked 4 dejected looking children.  My husband who is normally the gatekeeper to my office was out shoveling the 16 inches of snow off the walkway.

The oldest, spoke up, "We're bored."

"Get out." I said.  (I'm a very sympathetic mommy.)

"No. REALLY." he continued. "We're bored."

"You're bored?  It's the FIRST day of vacation.  Not only do you have all of your old toys but you have a WHOLE bunch of NEW toys!  How can you be bored?"

"I only got a couple of toys."

"You got Beybladz, you got a football, you got legos..."

"Those weren't from Santa."

"You got lots more from Santa!"

Tuesday was worse.  Tuesday they didn't even make it until 4pm.  They started fighting at 7:30 am and went downhill from there.  At 6pm my 4yo was yelling "I HATE YOU!" at my 6yo because he was throwing things at her.  Both of them got timeouts.

I had planned to take them to see Tangled on New Year's Eve followed by dinner at Uno's.  They're such little monsters right now the only place I want to take them is to the front steps of their school and drop them off for next Monday.  It's okay if it's 19 degrees out, right?

 

Buttered Buns

This post is possibly too much information - even for me.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

My husband and I have been particularly amorous lately. Now that his elbow is feeling better we've been more, um,  acrobatic - with varying levels of success.

On Christmas morning the innuendo was flying and when my daughter asked for butter for her buns my husband leaned over to me and said, "Can I butter your buns?"

I turned to him and said, "You kind of did the other night but it was a mistake."

I'm pretty sure he spit his water all over the kitchen.

 

G-Spot: Frisky Vacuuming

This post comes to you from one of my favorite Twitter Friends and Blog Commenters, Techydad.

As my children get older I can definitely sympathize with the desire to find a way to carve out some personal space within a home that sometimes feels VERY communal.

And sometimes it's nice to hear from the guys...

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Saturday morning, I woke up and was feeling frisky.  So I rolled over to B and began letting her know in my own special, subtle way.  (Read: Not subtle at all.  I might as well announce it with a giant, glowing neon sign.)  Anyway, as luck might have it, my oldest son decided that was a good time to wake up also.  Not only wake up, but wake up with a pink eye scare.  And not only wake up with a pink eye scare, but wake up with a pink eye scare shouting loud enough to wake up his younger brother.  So frisky wasn’t an option.

After taking care of the boys and getting them set up to play, I climbed back in bed.  But our boys apparently don’t know the meaning of a closed door and kept barging in or yelling for us.  Eventually, I gave up and went to get them (and me) breakfast while my wife slept some more.  After my wife got up due to an ill-timed phone call, I climbed back in bed again, but the interruptions didn’t end.

I finally faced the fact that nothing was going to happen thismorning, but I had… let’s just say pent-up energy.  So I decided to do what any guy would do… clean the house.  (That *is* what other guys would do, right?)  I went into the bathroom and cleaned the toilet, sink, behind the toilet and other areas that were in need of cleaning.

When I was done, I still had some energy left.  I also noticed that the boys were arguing again.  So I took out the vacuum cleaner.  Here I must digress to explain something.  My oldest son dreads the sound of the vacuum cleaner.  He runs to his room at the mere mention of it being activated.  My youngest then follows and they’ll actually be good during the duration.  This time was no different.

As I went after dust bunnies under our bed (which I had just vacuumed up a couple weeks ago… man can those things multiply like… well, like bunnies), I began thinking.  Despite the roar of the vacuum, it was actually quite peaceful.  Nobody barging in.  Nobody yelling.  Would it be wrong for my wife and I to pull the vacuum cleaner into our room, turn it on and have some “us time” undisturbed by intrusions of the kiddie kind?  Also, by admitting that frisky frustration leads to tons of tidying, have I doomed myself to a future of frustrated frisky feelings?