BloggingDangerously

Wish me luck

I start my new job in 20 minutes. I'm not I I I I I start my new job in 15 minutes. I'm not nervous but it's exciting to be someplace new after 12 years.

Sometimes when I'm learning something new and find it difficult I start to hate it. My 8yo is like that too and I try to coach him through it. He's been working hard and is doing a great job and today, I need to remind myself to follow his lead. Wish me luck.

Dangerous Letters: Vol. 33

This week has been crazy.  First of all, I quit my job so I've been working twice as hard.  I know that makes no sense - welcome to the world of the obessive compulsive.  I basically tried to finish every single thing that I possibly could so that my about to be former coworkers would say nice things about me.  My husband thinks I'm crazy.  He's a smart man.

My husband had surgery on his elbow yesterday.  The surgery went fine but my mother came down the night before to stay with the kids and we stayed up talking.  Then we had to get up at 5:30 to get to the hospital by 6:15am.  This morning I was so tired I had a dream about sleeping. 

I spent today cleaning my work laptop up of all of the things I don't want my former employer to see.  It probably wouldn't be helpful if I worked my ass off all week to finish every single project and then my boss opened my laptop to find all of my blog posts about what an ASS I think he is.

I ALSO spent a large part of today trying to keep the kids from killing each other because my husband was sleeping and the kids were on vacation.

I love Veteran's Day - don't get me wrong - I think it's a very necessary and wonderful holiday.  However, I think that ON Veteran's Day, actual Veterans should have the choice of sending their kids to school so they can get some PEACE AND QUIET.  (This benefit should also apply to Veteran's wives.)

The comments this week were great.  Thank you. 

On the post, Coming to a Head:

Love it. Mine is a once-a-weeker, if I'm lucky. I was awoken to a hard one the other night....a few kisses on the neck, getting all hot, and then he rolls over and puts my hand down there. He claimed we'd go again. I naively believed him. It was so fast, slightly pathetic. Talk about needing training, maybe I can use that one on him to increase my. odds of more fun.

signed, Erin

Kit: Never believe ANYTHING they say at that point.

On the post, Sex Homework:

dang girl you are lucky! the kids were gone ALL DAY so hip hip horray! i wore a push up bra (for my non-large breasts, so sad) and a tight hip holder, butt lifter whateva, sexy light blue panties. and when i bent down to open the dishwasher, i knew he was staring at my butt, the words on my panties saying "Wanna Enter?" it must be no surprise that we had a ton of oh adult fun :D that day and it's all b/c of your idea! you rock my life Kit! p.s. how in the world do you not have a bazillon kids- constant birthcontrol? love ya~

signed, Ellie

Kit: HOORAY!

F- for me. UGH. I wore tights - Hubby's favorite! - and even went out of my way to wear white tights, based on a request he had made a year or so ago. I wore this sexy outfit with the tights to work, because I know that turns him on. And when we got home? Nothing. He "was too tired." FOR TIGHTS! I was beyond frustrated.

signed, Mrs MidAtlantic

Kit: Let's be clear, HE gets the F-.  You, my love, get an A for effort. 

On the post, I'm a Superstar:

Congratulations, I have a hard time writing about *whispers* the sex thing, so that would never happen to me. Lucky dog!  (I also just wrote writhing about instead of writing about, so maybe I could after all, hmm?)

signed, A Vapid Blond

Kit: Writhing is the first step.

On the post, The Art of Negotiation:

you have got to start practicing the BJ as a tease, a warm-up. I guarantee he won't complain.

signed, Andygirl

Kit: I TOTALLY do that!!  He says it doesn't count unless it's start to finish that way.  He's going to have to learn the "Art of Compromise."

On the post, Ten Things That Have Made Me Laugh Lately:

I'm doing the online dating thing now...and i have more guys than i know what to do with! and they're all amazing! I guess things have changed since the 90s :-P

yay for your last day of work!

signed, Shaina

Kit: Oh Shaina!  It was awful.  They matched me with a man who showed up to our first date wearing a black sweatshirt with DKNY across the front in Black lettering.  The sweatshirt was tucked into a pair of Black jeans.  He wore black high tops.  You might think that he was a fashion faux pas - but no - it was his work outfit.  He was a re-po man.

I feel for you on #7. I have two kids: the first can't sit still, can't do what she is told, and if we (especially dad) give her a hard time she stands her ground and snaps back. the 2 yo actually causes a lot more trouble and breaks more things, but if you tell him off he will give you his biggest eye fluttering smile and ask in the sweetest tone "I'm not supposed to put marker on the furniture?" and gets away with murder.

we keep reminding ourselves to go easier on #1 and harder on #2, but .... I guess we are just human too

signed, angelica

Kit: I end every day promising not to yell, scold, etc. as much the following day.  I'm comforted by the fact that my peers compliment my children on their behavior and that my children laugh at me when I threaten to spank them.  (Apparently their behavior is being corrected in a way that doesn't frighten them.)

On the post, Sexy:

I think confidence is sexy. (My phone just auto corrected that to sext. WFT ANDROID?!?!)
Also, a man that's not afraid to be vulnerable. Showing affection in public makes me weak in the knees. A hand on my back, or an arm around my shoulder.

Feck, good thing Im seeing the man friend today!

signed, Jen

Kit: Sounds like you have a horny Android!

I like the strong silent type.

That way he still leaves you guessing, and you have to work for it.

signed, Lindsay Ann

Kit: I EFFING HATE those guys.  Those guys TORTURED me in my 20s. UGH.

On the post, Happy Veteran's Day and THANK YOU:

You married a man in uniform? No wonder you have such a great sex life :)

signed, Paxochka

Kit: Go ARMY!

I'm glad my husband doesn't read your blog, because right now he's happy with "Thank you for your service take out pizza and beer". I'm way too exhausted (and pregnant) for "Thank you for your service sex".

signed, Suzanne

Kit: I spit my coke all over the keyboard when I read this.  Awesome.  Good luck with the baby!

On the post: G-SPOT, Evolution of a Lover:

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.Yes.Yes.YES.YES!

signed, Kim

Kit: I'm with you Kim.  There is so much possibility for it to be better and better and better that you can't throw up your hands and give up when you stop having 20 year old sex.  20 year old sex would kill you in your 40s.  Let it go.  40 year old sex is still pretty fun.

Tomorrow is my last day of work and then I will be officially unemployed for 72 hours.  #wineparty anyone?

Sex Homework: Hard Habit to Break

This is a two part post.  The first part is to announce that I am throwing in the towel on NaBloPoMo. (National Blog Posting Month - where you agree to post every day for the entire month of November.)

The truth is that I ENJOY blogging very much but I also enjoy feeling like I don't HAVE to blog and taking the weekends off lets me feel that way.  Not blogging is my reward for blogging and I like it that way.

Still, I think that NaBloPoMo is incredibly valuable.  And when I was a haphazard blogger, NaBloPoMo always jump started my blog by getting me in the habit of writing - and into the habit of thinking of things to write about.

And I'll be honest, now that I'm a daily blogger I have no end to the topics I want to blog about - I have a list of 100 things to blog about.  And every day I think of 5 more things.  The trick is writing them down before I forget about them!

And sex,  before I started this blog my husband and I did not have any where as much sex.  But now we talk about sex more, we read about sex more, we think about sex more and we HAVE SEX A LOT more.

Sometimes we think about habits as bad things that we need to break - like smoking, or M&Ms before bed or biting our fingernails.  But the truth is that human beings are creatures of habit and if we can make habits out of positive actions our natural tendency to repeat those patterns will reinforce the behavior.

So your homework this week is to think of something in your relationship (or if you aren't in a relationship - think of something in your life) that you would like to reinforce.  Whether it's more sex or more snuggling or more talking or more communication.  Whether it's more exercise or healthier eating or writing or ANYTHING.

Think about how you can make a habit out of doing that thing.  Then do it.  Over and over.

If you want more snuggling with your partner, then make sure you sit next to them on the couch instead of over on your own couch.  If you want more communication then think of a list of topics you can cover every day - How was your day?  Did anything good happen?  Anything bad? etc.  Start the habit of communication or snuggling or WHATEVER and it will be easier to keep it up.

Let me know in the comments what habit you plan to make.  Or, if you MUST, what habit you plan to break.

I'll start.  Before we were married my husband and I would go to bed early - for the obvious reason - and then we would have what we called a "slumber party" where we would stay up late and talk.  Then we got married and had children and sleep became precious so instead of slumber partying we would have a race to see who could fall asleep the fastest.

Now, we SAY that we are going to go to bed earlier but we never move from our computers until 10:57.  I am going to try to start going to bed at 9:57pm so that we can slumber party for a bit and STILL get some sleep.

Then, once that happens I am going to TRY to start getting UP earlier so that I can go to the gym.

Please send your STRONGEST encouragement.

 

G-SPOT: Evolution of a Lover

This guest post is from a dedicated reader who shall remain anonymous.

It's not as dirty as some of us you may like but I think it tells a great story about how relationships evolve over time to be less like a sparkler and more like a punk.  Not as flashy, but longer lasting and it keeps the bugs away. ;)

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Confessions of a Dangerous Reader: Have I Lost the Danger?

My husband and I, before he was my husband, had a lot of, um, dangerous sex. Before you jump to conclusions here, let me clarify. We didn't have physically dangerous sex; we used nearly every form of protection and method available to keep from getting pregnant or contracting any type of disease the other might have been carrying (which was highly unlikely in the first place since we'd each only regretfully been with one other person besides each other). We practiced safe sex, but we did it oh so dangerously.

I had the wild abandon of a relatively inexperienced, barely not a virgin, female in her young 20s.  I had sworn never to have sex again until I was married after my first experience with my previous boyfriend left me crying and insisting that what we were doing was wrong. The act of sex had been virtually non-existent and/or non-pleasurable in my life up until the night new Boyfriend and I “accidentally” had intercourse.

It started with an innocent kiss which became heavier and more heated. We moved to my dorm room, onto my bed. Groping and gyrating gave way to the slow and gentle removal of our clothes. Surely we could just make out without clothing, right? And then it happened. The accidental slip. Our bodies froze in fear and anticipation, looking at one another with wide eyes that asked, “Where should we go from here?” My mind and body screamed in unison, “KEEP GOING!!!” because this time? This time was entirely different from the first time. This time felt so heavenly and so right. I whispered, “It's okay,” to him, and the rest is history.

As college seniors we were vivacious and insatiable. We couldn't get enough of one another, often rolling over for seconds and then thirds, and occasionally fourths just minutes after finishing. A slight suggestive gaze from across the table in the campus cafeteria led to hours in bed in the middle of the afternoon between classes. In March, Boyfriend went skiing with myself, my dad, and my brother. We stayed in a small condo in Colorado, sharing the pull out bed while my brother slept on a cot next to us. My dad took the bedroom. One night our hunger for one another drove us to stealthily satisfy our desires while my brother snored in a deep slumber just feet away from us. We were at the height of our dangerous love affair with each other.

Soon after, we graduated from college and embarked on what would be two years of a long distance relationship, somehow managing to meet each other's needs once a month over short weekends. Danger began to fade. The rigor of medical school and the strain of a first year of teaching set into our bodies and souls, but Danger was hanging on ever so slightly, a shadow in the corner of his bedroom waiting by his box of bones to study. It would show its face every now and then, prodding us to tear off clothing and ravage each other without inhibition in the dark after a romantic evening out, but alas, Danger was fast becoming dim.

Then came marriage, and moving, and the third year of medical school and teaching, and three pets starving for attention. And whilst Life was occurring, Danger left the building. Gone are the days of alluring glances and unquenchable thirsts. They have been replaced with weary kisses and scheduled sex. Where has the wild abandon gone? Where has my libido gone?

I didn't even realize any of it was leaving until it was all gone, yet I am encouraged. I am encouraged because, as my husband assures me, with age comes more refined tastes. Just as boxed Franzia wine or Keystone Light whets the palate of college students, so does an unpracticed touch gratify the sexual desires of the young and inexperienced. I am older, I am wiser, and I am harder to please. We must begin slowly now, taunting one another with gentle kisses and teasing fingers down below; tracing the edges of our most private parts with the lightest of touch and wetness of tongue. We experiment and use our creativity. Sex doesn't need to be scheduled, it just needs to be tempting. More tempting than the appeal of my pillow, a down comforter, and closed eyes after a long day. My sexual hunger has evolved from a starving child to a well-fed adult. Realizing this, my palate has been whetted once again with the sexual equivalent of a fine Italian wine and Danger has returned.

Happy Veteran's Day and THANK YOU

My husband says that when he was lying in a ditch in the dessert during the first Gulf War and couldn't get up for anything, that he promised himself that he would NEVER wait to go to the bathroom again when he got back to civilization.

This does not explain the TREMENDOUS amount of time he spends reading, hiding in the bathroom but it does make it harder to argue with.

We got up at 5:30 yeasterday morning so my BRAVE Veteran husband could have surgery on the elbow he wounded in the war.  And by war, I mean the war with our children that had him changing thousands of diapers in 6 years and resulted in Diaper elbow.  (I keep telling him he needs a better story.)

We're both exhausted and he's jacked up on percocet so there will be no "Happy Veteran's Day - let me show you my appreciation" sex (at least not tonight) but I did want to take a moment to recognize him and all of the brave men and women who have made sacrifices to keep us safe.

Thank you for your service.

Love,

Kit