BloggingDangerously

I May Have Been Asleep. Him Too.

The past 10 days have been a whirlwind.  Ileft my job of 12 years and flew 2000 miles from home to start my new job with 4 days of training.   While in Texas I burned the candle at both ends - calling home every morning at 6:30am to tell the kids, "HAVE A GREAT DAY" and then going to bed after midnight trying to configure my new laptop, BLOG and spend time with old (and new) friends.

My flight home on Thursday night was delayed and I ended up crawling into bed around 2am on Friday morning.  Despite my husband's best intentions - he'd showered, shaved AND changed the sheets - all with his right arm in a cast - we were both catatonic by the time I landed in bed beside him and all we could manage was a kiss goodnight before we both passed out.

Friday morning we were up with the kids to get them on the bus and then I started my "Real" first day of work.

Friday  night he went to bed at 8:30.  #wineparty hadn't even started and I couldn't miss it.

Saturday morning we woke up.  The kids were already down stairs.  It was my day to get up with the kids but I was pretending that it wasn't.  He nudged me.  I pretended I was asleep.  Then he nudged me THAT WAY.  I figured sex would give me an excuse to stay in bed for a few more minutes.

Unfortunately his right arm was still in a cast and I slee on his right side.  He couldn't roll toward me.  Missionary was out of the question and "Woman on Top" would TOTALLY have defeated the purpose of me trying to snooze for 9 more minutes. 

I'm pretty sure I was still asleep and he figured it out on his own.  I'm not sure he didn't fall back to sleep mid-romp because when I woke up again it was over and he was snoring.

I'm sure it was fantastic - it always is.  Especially in my dreams. ;)

 

Alien

I got home from Dallas Friday morning at 2am.  My husband had been home alone with the kids all week with is right arm in a cast. 

By dinnertime we were exhausted.

But everyone had gotten sick of pizza.

We decided to go out for Chinese food.  The only problem was that my second son doesn't eat anything except bread, cheese, pasta, apples and chicken nuggets.  He won't even let us put butter on the bread.

We've been encouraging him to try different foods but it usually ends with him crying.

I figured that if it came down to it he could probably eat white rice.

We got to the restaurant and ordered a ton of food.  Lo mein, chicken wings, rice, sushi, etc.

Everyone dove in.  INCLUDING him.  He grabbed a chicken wing and started gnawing on it.  He tried the pork fried rice (he didn't like it.) He tried the white rice (he did.)  He tried the egg roll (he didn't like it)  he tried the lo mein (he didn't like it.)

When he dipped the half eaten chicken wing in the duck sauce and said, "MMM!" my daughter froze and looked at him with terror in her eyes.  "THAT'S NOT HIM." she said.

It's exactly what we were all thinking and we all burst out laughing.

Later he told me, "That wasn't me at dinner.  It was my twin brother."

I said to him, "Well, can you tell me who is going to be at Thanksgiving?"

Jailbreak

I had to do some errands on Sunday and when I got home my 6 year old yelled, "MOM, I found Rosie in the hallway.  I almost DIED!"

"What?" I asked, confused.  Rosie is our pet tarantula and COULD NOT POSSIBLY have escaped AGAIN.

Because what kind of a moron would let a pet tarantula escape TWICE?

My husband walked in.

"Um, did Rosie escape?" I asked.  He looked at my son.

"Yes." he admitted.  "We found her in the hallway."

He nodded at my son and added, "He screamed so loud I thought his arm had been caught in a wood chipper."

I was pretty happy to be in a tarantula free hotel room after that incident.

Until I found a cockroach on my pillow tonight.

 

Heartbroken

I'm in Dallas for training this week.  I left Sunday after dinner and will get home Thursday at midnight.

When I called home this morning to say Good Morning to the kids my 3 year old took the phone, got VERY teary and said, "Mommy, I think you forgot to come home!"

 

The Power of Suggestion

The other day I received three emails (one for each child) from the school nurse at my children's school telling me that there was an outbreak of lice in grades K, 1 and 2. 

She further asked me to check their heads for lice every day for the next two weeks to make sure they didn't develop lice.

As you might imagine I was insanely itchy and scratching from Head to Toe by the time I read to the bottom of the email (just as you probably are now.  Sorry about that.)

I called my daughter into the kitchen and checked her hair.  Fine.

I called my older son into the kitchen and checked his hair.  Fine.

I called my 3 year old daughter into the kitchen and checked her long curly hair.  I wept at the thought that if she DID develop lice it would probably cause us to cut her Marie Antoinette curls for the first time.  She was fine.

As I called to my 6yo son - the one who can't sit still - I thought to myself, if ANY of them get lice it's going to be him.  Mainly because he can't keep his body contained to it's own space and is always bouncing around into other people's space.

He came into the room.  UGH. Black dots in his scalp.  I ran up to where my husband was napping.  "Can you come check his head?" I begged.  He came down.  "There's definitely something there" he agreed.  "But are they moving?"  He and I both froze, not even BREATHING to see if the black dots were moving. 

Did I mention that the scalp they were on CAN'T FUCKING STAND STILL??

I ran upstairs and googled "Lice."  While it was loading I was thinking about what it would take to delouse my house - the couches, the beds, the clothing, the hats, the coats, etc.  There is NO WAY we could get rid of all of the eggs at the same time.  We would likely just go around and around and around.  Just as I was getting completely agitated the page loaded.

YECH!  They're GROSS!  The black dots on my son's head were WAY too small to be lice.  SAFE!

I came back downstairs and asked him, "Were you playing in the dirt at recess?"

He nodded happily.  "Yes, we were throwing dirt in the air."

THIS is why that boy is going to give me a heart attack.  And why I'm TOTALLY itchy right now.