Toward the end of my junior year of college my boyfriend and were in the messy stages of breaking up and I was handling it well - and by well I mean drinking until I blacked out and went home with strange boys.
One night I was headed to a party at my friend Eric's dorm. He was friend with my ex-boyfriend so I thought that he would be there. I decided to loosen up before I went. And by loosen up I mean do 6 shots of gin.
I was the LIFE of the party. And I had a great time until I started to feel sick. I decided to go back to my dorm but I couldn't find my keys even though I'd left them right on Eric's dresser. I went into Eric's room but they were nowhere. I collapsed on his bed. He was into me and followed me in. "Why don't you just crash here?" he asked. "No way." I said. "I'm not going to take advantage of you." he said.
So I passed out.
In the morning I woke up in his bed. He was nowhere. I put my shoes on and walked into the living area. He was asleep on the couch. "Hi." he said, smiling.
"Hi." I said sheepishly. "Thanks for letting me crash in your bed."
"Sure" he said. "How do you feel?"
"Like crap," I said.
"You threw up for HOURS" he said.
"No I didn't" I said. "I went to bed in your room."
"Yes, but then you got UP." he said. I didn't and still don't have ANY memory of what he said happened. He offered to show me the video but I declined.
We went back into his room to find my keys - which were sitting right where I had left them on the dresser. I looked at the clock - 9:30 o'clock - my mother was coming at 11:30 to take me to my grandparents house for lunch.
I collapsed back into Eric's bed. He joined me. I thanked him for not taking advantage of me by showing him my appreciation. Then I had to go. If I hurried I could sleep for an hour and then take a quick shower before my mom showed up.
I raced back to my dorm, ran up to my room, took of my clothes and hopped into bed. My eyes were closed for about 3 seconds when the phone rang.
"Hello?" I answered it.
"I'm here!" my mom sang.
"You're not supposed to be here for an hour!" I cried.
"It's daylight savings time!" she said in a singsong voice that tortured me.
"I'll be right down." I got up, brushed my teeth, got dressed and went downstairs. I looked like shit.
"Look at my shiny new Probe!" she sang. She was happy. It was sickening.
I climbed gingerly into the car. We went to my grandparents house. They were wonderful people with one fatal flaw - they overfed EVERYONE.
And today they were serving Spareribs with Ah-so sauce. I hate spareribs. I HATE Ah-so sauce.
I wish I could tell you that I bucked up and ate lunch but I didn't. I spent the entire meal in the bathroom vomiting. Every time I put something into my stomach it came back up.
And then it was time to go.
THANK GOD IN HEAVEN.
My mom and I got into her car. She was obviously unhappy. We were driving through the streets of Boston on a two lane road that was only 1.5 lanes wide on a Sunday morning when I said, "Pull over."
"I can't pull over." she said, pissy about the fact that I'd been vomiting all morning.
"Pull over." I hissed through clenched teeth stemming a flood of vomit."
"I can't" she said matter-of-factly.
"Pull over or I'm going to puke in your shiny new Probe!" I said.
I've never seen her move so fast. She maneuvered from the left lane into the right land and pulled into a completely full church parking lot just as Mass was getting out. There was no place to park so she just stopped while I opened the door and dry heaved onto the pavement in front of all God's children heading back to their cars.
When I could sit up, I shut the door and we continued on. She didn't have much to say.
She dropped me off and I walked into my dorm. I made it about 15 feet before I realized I had to vomit. I ran for the bathroom. About 10 feet in front of the toilet I started to hurl. Thank GOD for the projectile in projectile vomiting. I made it!
I couldn't eat anything without puking for 3 days. I've never drunk gin since.
My mom still has a shiny red probe (but not the same one.)
And I'm still NO FAN of Daylight Saving's time.
I don't like gin because it makes my pants fall down in airports and during PTA meetings and waiting in line at the DMV... and church.
Posted by: furiousball | September 22, 2010 at 09:04 AM
I've been there, done that, but with bourbon! Still can't bring myself to even try a single sip of it! Isn't it strange how something like that will stay with you forever!!!! Ohhhh, to be young and REALLY stupid! Don't want to trade and go back for a second, haha!!
Posted by: Wicked | September 22, 2010 at 09:14 AM
My mother used to drink gin & Squirt and I swear that mix should have been called the "Zombie Grapefruit." It was vile, and made me never ever want to drink gin. ^^;;
And right there with you on the Daylight Savings Time hate.
Posted by: Micrathene | September 22, 2010 at 09:29 AM
Funny story! Gin...yuuuck! Everybody has that drink that they just can't do anymore. Mine is anything RED. Sounds weird right? But if I do one spicy shot, I puke it up within 2 seconds.
Posted by: Cristina | September 22, 2010 at 09:40 AM
OH GAWD. Its not Daylight Savings Time today is it?!?! I hate that!
Posted by: Kate | September 22, 2010 at 09:57 AM
OH, you poor thing. There is a video of me and a knock down drag out fight with Mad Dog 20/20. I was 18, it was my going away party, my best girlfriend kept saying.:Just drink it. Its like juice" Uh yeah, that bitch lied to me. Maybe like chemical warfare juice that attacks you from the inside out. I think that bitch was trying to kill me so I couldn't go away to school.They tried to take me somewhere , anywhere other than my parents, to sleep it off. Of course, after a few hours of puking on an early Saturday evening..they figured I was my Moms problem and they dropped me at the front door. Of course, my slightly younger brother thought it was quite hilarious to see his goody 2 shoes sister dethroned and so he videotaped for posterity.What an asshole. That's why I don't drink anything that cost less than $2 or tastes like "juice" That's also why I haven't allowed a going away party fro me since.LOL
Posted by: Truthful Mommy | September 22, 2010 at 10:19 AM
Nothing smells worse than gin puke. FACT.
Posted by: Miss Tricky | September 22, 2010 at 11:13 AM
honey, that's the kind of story that should dismiss you from all kinds of things. spare ribs. red shiny probes. family events.
and gin is nasty.
Posted by: andygirl | September 22, 2010 at 01:59 PM
For me it was Goldschlager. The little gold flakes were so pretty but the cinnamon flavored puke was not.
Posted by: Ally | September 22, 2010 at 03:53 PM
Ugh! After a long weekend with gin bucket I can't even stomach the idea of gin anymore!
Posted by: Jill | September 22, 2010 at 09:46 PM
I once drank too much Southern Comfort in my youth and I haven't been able to touch the stuff since. Just the thought of the sweet stuff....ugh.
Posted by: Jodie at Mummy Mayhem | September 23, 2010 at 07:41 AM
The thought of gin makes me sick to my stomach. It was the first booze that ever made me vomit and I will always, always hate it.
Posted by: terra | September 25, 2010 at 08:53 AM
HO HO HO HO.......AND I WANNA BELIEVE YOU,YOU TELL ME IT WILL BE OK.....
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