Did you know that in French the word "Devoir" is the infinitive of the word "MUST." As in "You MUST do something." In High School French "DEVOIR" also meant "homework."
Devour is another word ENTIRELY and is substantially more fun.
Until now.
Because you have HOMEWORK. That's right, mes amis, DEVOUR. That is to say, DEVOIR.
Are you THOROUGHLY confused? AWESOME.
Think of it this way: SEX HOMEWORK.
NOW I've got your attention.
Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is this:
IF you are partnered:
You and your significant other are each to make a list of 10 INTIMATE things that you are interested in trying. They don't have to be freaky (but they certainly CAN be.) Then RANK the items from 'Vanilla' to 'Death By Chocolate' and then exchange lists. Go down the list until you find the most vanilla thing on both lists and make a date to try it, BEFORE TUESDAY.
I suggest you start vanilla-ish. You don't want to put "Wild gang-bang orgy drug fest" as your most vanilla item when your partner is starting with "exchange footrubs." The goal here is to find common ground, develop a comfort level with trying new things and expand your horizons - not to freak your partner out.
Also, no judging! The point of this is to find COMMON ground that will enhance BOTH of your sex lives, not to discover your partner's curiosity with bondage and use it against them. That would ONLY discourage future experimentation and you both lose.
Also, refrain from looking at #10 and saying "NO EFFING WAY." You may feel that way now but just saying that is judging and you never know what will happen between numbers 1 and 10!
(It is PERFECTLY acceptable to say, "The idea of #10 doesn't appeal to me now." That's not overly judgey but it takes it off the table.)
If you are NOT partnered you are NOT off the hook.
I'd like you to make the same list of 10 things. (Yours can be freakier, no one is going to see it!) and then I'd like you to retire to a private space and envision how these things my happen - both how you might meet the person and/or how the scene would play out.
Relax, have fun and come back and comment on whether or not this was fun, horrifying or useless! If you like these assignments I'll give you more! If you comment before Tuesday I'll recap the best comments for next Thursday.
ENJOY!
Jesus H, Kit, I'm already down to my last set of batteries.
Posted by: Jen | September 01, 2010 at 11:22 PM
Is it bad if my wife told me her first list entry would be "sleep"?
Posted by: TechyDad | September 01, 2010 at 11:35 PM
Damn you!
My husband just left town for a week, and NOW you give me this awesome homework?!
Ooh... unless I make phone sex my number one...
Yay!
Posted by: MommyNanibooboo | September 02, 2010 at 12:01 AM
Oh I'm going to enjoy homework tonight. Fantastic post!
Posted by: BtweenSheets | September 02, 2010 at 12:21 AM
Wow Kit, you picked an awesome time for this assignment! I live on the NC coast and we'll be hunkered down at home the next 24 hours or so for Earl!
Posted by: Surf Momma | September 02, 2010 at 08:57 AM
well a) my boyfriend would probly laugh at this and b) not sure if we're going to have sexytime opportunities before tuesday. :-/
Posted by: Shaina | September 02, 2010 at 09:23 AM
Out of condoms. And I can't go buy more from Target 'cause of the damn boycott. Summabitch!
Posted by: Elly Lou | September 02, 2010 at 10:01 AM
This is a great idea. My guy lives in Cali, and I live in Canada, as such we spend a lot of time texting, chatting, video chatting, and talking on the phone. A lot of it is sex based. Thanks to this relationship we have both started to explore a lot of our fantasies and like you suggested, our boundaries have moved as we've uped the ante.
Hopefully many of your coupled readers are able to feel safe and supported enough to enjoy your homework.
Posted by: Jennie | September 02, 2010 at 11:48 AM
I have a part-time lover, whom I won't see until Saturday and the until a week later. SO, I commit to making a list with him next time I see him and we'll start it later.
well, I *start* the list on my own. *eyebrow waggle*
Posted by: andygirl | September 02, 2010 at 02:27 PM
After figuring out what I'd put on my list, let me just say that it probably wasn't a good idea to compile the list while driving. I didn't write and drive or anything, but picturing the list being "completed" was a bit of a distraction while driving. (No accidents or anything, thank goodness.)
Posted by: TechyDad | September 02, 2010 at 09:25 PM
I like this idea, but I'm sure anal would totally be on his list. And seriously, it's just too freakin' big to even think about sticking there! I just got ass pucker thinking about it!
Posted by: Amy | September 03, 2010 at 10:15 AM
YAY this will be REALLY fun to do ... we have a new baby and I'm just finally starting to feel back to normal down there, so we'll both be excited to have some fun again! : )
Posted by: Cristina | September 03, 2010 at 12:29 PM
this was actually rather fun to do--i'm naturally a creative person, so coming up w/ list of creative things i'd like to try if i ever find the right person was an interesting exercise (and also fun!). too bad there's no guy available.... :(
Posted by: agentausten | September 03, 2010 at 08:22 PM
I'm thinking that one of the advantages of getting older and having been together for 26 years is that we've made that list, done everything on it and figured out all the Death By Chocolate things that we really enjoy. Now we just keep perfecting it :)
Posted by: karen | September 03, 2010 at 09:51 PM
I made the list and told the lover to make his list. Before he got a chance to look at mine he did about three of the things on there with no hints from me. :D He still hasn't made his list but I finally gave mine to him this morning. I'm looking forward to what happens!
Posted by: DixieAngel_ | September 14, 2010 at 09:43 AM