Carmen Electra is a Power Hungry Bitch (But I still love her)

Last week my husband walked into my office and gave me the double head jerk in the direction of the bedroom.  "No thank you." I said.  "I'm REALLY busy and besides, the kids are downstairs."

He rolled his eyes.  "Fine." he said and walked out.

20 minutes later he left to take the kids to Football pictures and I was alone in the house.

ALL. ALONE. WITH. NOTHING. TO. DO.

Yes, I realize I said I was busy.  But I suddenly needed a break.

I ran into my bedroom and shed my shorts.  I reached into the top drawer of my dresser for Carmen but she was nowhere to be found.

"Huh." I thought.  "where could she be?"  I looked in my pillowcase. She wasn't there.  I pulled the bed away from the wall and searched underneath it.  She wasn't anywhere.

Suddenly I had a vision of my husband punishing me for refusing him earlier.  But then I realized he wouldn't do that to himself.

I re-searched my dresser drawer and there she was!  I grabbed her and jumped into bed. 

ARGH!!! Dead batteries.

Of COURSE the replacement batteries are downstairs in a cabinet over the stove.  Our kitchen faces the street, so before I could jump up on a chair in the middle of the room I had to put my pants back on.

I hopped out of bed, got dressed, ran downstairs, pushed the kitchen chair over to the stove, climbed up got 2 new AAA batteries and then ran upstairs.

SHE WAS AMAZING.

Totally worth it.

But we're now buying AAA batteries in bulk.

Comments

[Michelle @ Mommy Loves Stilettos]

I'm pretty sure that I need a Carmen Electra.....

[Shannon]

Keep your own pack of batteries in the same dresser drawer? Just a thought :) Hopefully Carmen won't find her way to them while she waits in there.

[TexasRed]

Hilarious!

[andygirl]

get those lithium ones! perfect for vibrators.

[Kirsten (Results Not Typical Girl)]

it's easy to see why the whole solar-powered vibrators never really took off

#MoreInTheDarkThanBetaHusband

[Green V-Neck]

I keep a fully-stocked stash of batteries in my drawer just for this occasion.

[Dave]

mmm.. sounds nice, I'm jealous lol

[Brahm (alfred lives here)]

Hysterical. The post title threw me off a bit, as I thought you mean the realy Carmen Electra, who is a power hungry fame seeking blah blah blah...

Anyhoo, the lesson the rest of us knew before hand was batteries. The rechargeable kind is preferred, might as well make Carmen Electra eco friendly!

[Truthful Mommy]

LOL! I have totally stolen batteries from the kids toys, baby swings, etc. Of course, we've moved and I have "misplaced" my rabbit. Poor guy, he's probably all alone scared, looking for me. Hold on little guy,Mama's coming to find you!LOL

[alonewithcats]

I'd be indifferent if Carmen Electra died. But very sad for you if YOUR Carmen Electra died.

[kb]

I hate to think about how much I'd spend on batteries if my favorite "Carmen" didn't plug into the wall :)

[Betty Fokker]

Awesome, but my "other husband" plugs in and dims the lights in three counties and has a kickstand, so I am pretty sure he is way more amazing than Carmen.

[Mama Kat]

I love that you turned down your husband and opted for time with Carmen instead. She really does know how to treat a lady, doesn't she?

[Veronica]

Rechargables.

Of course, those only work until your hubby steals the batteries for his wireless mouse of course. Not that I'm bitter.

[Rocker38]

Just found your blog and laughed til my sides ached. So absolutely fabulous to find other girls who will find their own pleasure. Just thank your lucky stars that you don't live in Africa where our electric supply is so erratic that you're likely to fry your girly bits one second and be left in total frustration the next if your Carmen plugs into the mains!!