Keeping it PG: Ten Things That Have Made Me Laugh Lately

I know you're disappointed, but I have a good reason... I just can't tell you what it is yet.  If you're dying to know check out my Twitter Stream otherwise you're going to have to wait a couple of weeks for me to tell you what's going on.

In the mean time...

1. Lately every time I turn around my sons are shooting at each other with improvised guns.  Sometimes they are legos made into guns, sometimes it's a stick shaped like a gun, once my son bit his slice of American cheese so that it resembled a gun.  No lie.

Sunday morning I walked into the tv room and my oldest son was watching a war show about the SS.  I lost it. "NO." I said.  "You're 8 years old and you don't need to know about the killing methods of the SS."  I turned off the tv and changed the parental code.  Later I suggested that we read a book together.  We picked up The Lightening Thief.  He read, "Being a Half-Blood is dangerous.  It's scary.  Most of the time it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways."  Then he stopped, turned to me and said, "You'll let me read this but I can't watch HISTORY?"  He had me.  "Just keep reading." I told him.

2.  My son is playing football.  Last week, according to my husband, "he ricocheted off a tackling dummy, went flying through the air and landed on his back."  During this story my son interrupted to tell say, "I wasn't flying.  I prefer to think of it as falling with style."

3. Yesterday my 3yo turned to my 6yo and scolded, "You need to listen better!"  My husband said to her, "So do you."  She looked at him, rolled her eyes and said, "No I don't.  I'm in charge."

4. Last week after a particularly good day with the kids I said to them.  "You guys are really getting big.  I'm going to have to start letting you do more things."  My 6 yo jumped up and ran toward the kitchen calling, "I'm going to do the DISHES!"  I didn't let him but I hope that enthusiasm stays with him.

5. At dinner last night my husband mentioned how we kiss the kids goodnight every night before bed.  My daughter asked us what they looked like when they're sleeping.  "Well," he told her, "half the time you're upside down in bed.  And your little sister always FALLS out of bed."  (The little sister looked sheepish.)

"And you," he pointed to the oldest, "You always jump a mile when we come in."  "What about me?" asked the 6yo.   "You," I said, "you're always coughing and farting and snorting as usual."  I was totally kidding but he objected, "I don't SNORT!"

6. I like to mess with my kids.  Keep them on their toes.  I want them to be neurotic and paranoid like I am.  For example, If I have my hands over my head and someone passes within 15 feet of me I rapidly bring my arms to my sides.  I can't help it - it all comes from being tickled ALL THE TIME as a child.

So the other day my husband went out and before he left he kissed everyone of us.  As soon as the door closed I walked into the sun room where my 6yo son was playing quietly by himself - the others were in the TV room.  "Now there's no one to hear you scream." I said.  It sounded really creepy when I said it but luckily he laughed.  Then he yelled, "HELP."

Suddenly I was swarmed by 4 of them and brought to my knees.  "I've got her" my 3yo said, kicking like she didn't know it was a game.  And then my 5 year old daughter yelled, "ALL FOR ONE!" and the others echoed back, "AND ONE FOR ALL!" 

Sweetness.

7. A couple of days ago my 8yo was watching a tv show about science.  The show said that there was scientific proof that the moon was shrinking.  He started explaining it to my younger children.  They started asking questions.  And suddenly there was a thoughtful discussion happening in my livingroom on whether or not the moon was shrinking, why scientists thought that it was and what it meant.  I was afraid to walk into the room and bring the academic level down a notch.

8.  We had some work done on our house and I needed to pay the contractor.  I told him that I would get cash for him and call him today to drop it off.  I called him and he didn't answer.  Finally he called me back tonight and when I saw it was him I answered the phone and said, "Some chick is driving around town with a wad of cash for you and you don't answer the phone?"

He laughed and said, "Oh, that's funny, some hot chick is driving around with cash."

I said, "I didn't say hot, but I'll take it."  I think he was embarrassed.

9.  Every night at 11 my husband turns off his computer and goes to bed.  I always say, "I'll be there in a couple minutes" but then a wormhole opens in my office and it's suddenly 1am.  Of course when I DO go to bed I still have to wash my face and brush my teeth and I invariably wake him up.  That's why he gave me the rufi melatonin last week.

Tonight he just came over and told me how sweet he thought it was last week when I called him my life partner here.  After he walked away I looked suspiciously at my open can of Diet Coke and said, "You didn't drop a melatonin in there did you?"  He just smiled.  I had to throw it out.

10. Friday was my birthday.  My husband got up with the kids and had them all make me birthday cards.  When my 5yo daughter handed it to me she wrapped her arms around me and said, "You're the best mommy a little girl could wish for."

BEST. BIRTHDAY. EVER.

Comments

[LanceCake]

Your 3 year old sounds just like our 5 (almost 6) year old.

Happy Birthday, again.

[Jessi]

I totally love number 6!

[D]

These are all fantastic! And totally makes we want to have lots of babies lol. #4 - oh the excited about doing the dishes... wish it lasted. #6 is definitely my favorite, but #10 warms my heart!

[Cristina]

Reading your blog makes me want to have lots and lots of babies! We only have one now (she's only 3 months) and my husband wants 3 more but I'm not convinced just yet. But, seeing how much fun you have with yours makes it sound like a crazy, yet perfect family environment.

[Rook-takes-queen.blogspot.com]

All of this made me smile. Though I feel your pain about being tickled all the time as a child. Unfortunately one of my friends still likes to tickle me until I can't breathe.

[Rachel]

#6 all the way. Damn.

[andygirl]

your kids make me aw.

[Mama2_3penguins]

Your kids are pretty darn sweet!! <3<3<3 kids!! I have 3 of them, but only one is talking just yet!

[alonewithcats]

I don't think the moon is shrinking. It's probably just really cold in space. You know how that goes.

[Nike Shox R4 Flywire]

The best way to be spoiled is with time...if you spoil with stuff, it's probably because you feel bad you're not spending enough time with that person. I was spoiled as a child

with time, even though my parents are very well off and could have easily gone the BMW for the first car route. But they didn't, and it's great!

[Nike Shox TL3]

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[Nike Shox TL3]

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