Mama-Chameleon

I have a special treat for you today! 

Today I am the middle leg of a three-legged-relay post with my good friends Blair (from the amazing blog The Heir to Blair) and Sarah (from the spicy site Anonymous 8.)

As many of you know, Blair's son is almost 1, my children are 7, 6, 5 and 3 and Sarah's children are teenagers.  Since we're at very different stages right now, we thought it would be fun to do a post about how parenting changes as your children get older. 

As the parent of children ages 3-7, I find myself at the very exciting stage of having my babies turning into REAL PEOPLE, with distinctive personalities and characteristics and interests. 

Last year when I was on my way to a meeting with my son's teacher, I asked him, "Is she going to tell me nice things about you?"

"Well," he said, "I think so.  But I don't really like math.  If she asks you about it, can you just tell her that I'm sorry but I just want to do science - you know, like blow things up?"

And when I was trying to get that same son to do some extra math to help him catch up, my other son walked into the room and said, "Can I do math?" in the same tone he usually uses to ask for dessert.

And this spring when I was trying to get back into running after a long hiatus, I put on my shorts and running shoes and my 5yo daughter asked me, "Can I go with you?" and I was so proud of her that I wanted to say yes but I was afraid that if I had a heart attack and died on my run she'd be left unattended.

And this week, as we head off to the mountains of New Hampshire, my 3yo has already told me that she's going to climb to the top, "All by myself mama!"

My job as their parent right now is to encourage them to pursue their interests, lend them a hand if they need it, help them understand why there are certain things they need to do and try to be a good role model for them.

I'm not sure that that's a vastly different role than I played when they were younger, or a vastly different role than I'll play when they are older - it's possible that the thing that's changed the most isn't what they need but how we both decide when they turn to me.

Sometimes they give up to early and I have to encourage them.  Sometimes they want to do to much and I have to protect them.  The challenge isn't so much the sleep deprivation and the constant neediness as it is walking the fine line between being overprotective and underattentive.

But the payback at this stage is HUGE - the grins of accomplishment as they summit a new peak, the stories of what they did that day, seeing them enjoy the same things I enjoyed before I even had children to share them with!

I'm looking forward to introducing them to new things as they grow older and to being open minded enough to let them have their own experiences and then come back and introduce me to new things.

After all they're my role models as much as I'm theirs.

A HUGE thank you to Blair and Sarah for doing this post with me.  I'm so busy being a mother I don't often take the time to think about how I'm doing and this was a nice chance to reflect.

Comments

[Paxochka]

Such a beautiful post and all I can think of is

Mama-mama-mama-mama-mama chameleon. She comes and goes... she comes and go-oh-oh-oes. Loving would be easy if the colours were like my dreams...

damn you, Kit!

[Michelle @ Mommy Loves Stilettos]

I love what your son said about math!! So cute!

[Mungee's Ma]

"After all they're my role models as much as I'm theirs."

I love that! As much as I kind of want Mungee to stay a baby, I am really looking forward to watching her personality and spirit bloom.

[downloadable08]

Gorgeous post! My nephews are four years and eight months, respectively, so I can't wait for all of the fun moments like this.

I think my favorite with J, the 4-year-old, was when he asked his mom for a story about vampires. She started spinning the tale of the Daddy Vampire, the Mommy Vampire, and their two awesome Vampire Sons. "Mommy, you forgot one!" he insisted. "Who did I forget? It's just the four of us?" "You forgot Aunt Christine!" I, of course, was ridiculously touched. :)

[Andygirl]

I want my own miniature people! they seem fun! what are they called again? children? right, children. I want some of those.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to Google where to buy miniature people, I mean children.

[Ali@LastSplash]

I am so glad I followed the journey from BA's blog. I love this post. I was just thinking (and blogging) the other day about how I feel like I have the parenthood thing mastered right now, but I can't imagine what I'm going to do in three years. This gave me a wonderful glimpse into that future instead of a terrified-of-failing-my-family one! Thanks!

[Mads Mom]

AWESOME post. Sometimes I need a reminder just how wonderful little people are. And sleep, sleep is good.

[Anne]

Wow great post.

[AlexanderDope]

This could very well be my favorite post of yours. Our kids are 6 (boy) and 4 (girl) and you've done such a wonderful job of verbalizing the pleasures, challenges, hopes and fears involved with parenting kids of this age.

Besides being healthy, of course, I only hoped for our kids to have three qualities: curiosity, compassion and love of laughter. I figured that, with those, everything else would take care of itself.

Got all of them in spades! Since the personality fairy was obviously being so generous, I kind of wished I had pushed it and asked for compliance also. But not really, because as much as it would have made my life easier, their constant questioning will serve THEM better in life. As frustrating as it can be, I'm really enjoying this age.

[discount coach]

I prefer going to bed early. So I can get up early and do my exercises. What about you? Posted By discount coach

[ClubPenguinCheats]

This gave me a wonderful glimpse into that future instead of a terrified-of-failing-my-family one!