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June 10, 2010


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At least he told you about the gerbil thing. I had a guy who assumed I was going to go a little further than drunken kissing and whipped out his own gerbil-sized party trick. I laughed. Hysterically. Just because I was a) annoyed he thought he was getting some when he clearly wasn't and b) a total bitch. It was a little cruel. But I doubt he was ever so presumptuous again.

p.s. you almost lost me at "Republican". Luckily I love you enough to ignore politics.

D H-Arza

I soooo enjoy reading your blog...There is alot of thing my parents still don't know that I have done...LOL


OMG LOVE this one. And Marines are bad ass. My brother is one :) Great story. Seriously, who the fuck says they are hung like a gerbil?


And I was hoping to do a big KY shout-out, but maybe I'll just skip over this post!
Disclaimer: Not all KY boys are hung like gerbils, just saying.


boys are so stupid. they talk when they shoudn't and mumble when they should speak clearly!

Miss Tricky

The gerbil has got to be the least sexy of all the small-hung creatures... why go with gerbil?


Sounds like gerbil guy bounced a slam dunk off the rim and into the rafters. I guess he never made it near the basket, so more like he tripped on the free throw line (yes, testicles produce both testosterone AND sports analogies.)

When this story makes it into your first book, consider ending it with, "The marine and I are now married with four kids". I really thought that's where this was headed. But, then again, love a happy ending. As, I'm sure, everyone who reads your blog does.


ew. republicans.


Years ago, I had the maddening opportunity to say out loud "what? You mean you were IN me???" when my boyfriend of a very brief time commented about how good "that" felt. I wondered for a moment if the KY gerbil and IL gerbil were related and then I remembered the Republican connection. Nope! Not a chance! Also, he wasn't my boyfriend after that night.


Mmm. You make me miss my Marine. There was an awful lot good about that relationship. I choose (at this moment) not to remember the bad and just remember the yummy. Like the way his haircut felt on my palm and the time he wore his dress blues on a plane so that's how I'd see him at the airport.

What? He did *not* do that for the free drinks from other travelers at the departing airport. Shut up.

I'm wondering if anyone else measured their ex-boyfriends with their hands? I wouldn't have dared go near a guy with a ruler when I was younger. My Marine was quite I bit bigger than my reach from pinkie to thumb; I couldn't quite reach an octave on a piano and I couldn't quite reach his length. Don't get me started on girth. Le sigh.


I cannot believe a horny boy actually spoke the words "hung like a gerbil." Hopefully uttering such phrases has prevented him from reproducing. I once meet a guy who friends referred to as "Mr. baby carrot." Didn't go near his vegetable...


Great story! Marines are uber sexy. Gerbils, no.


OMG that is so funny!! I think we all make one of those kind of trips behind our parent's backs. I know I did. There was a bit less groping on mine cuz my brother and college roommate were the only two with me, but still. Glad you lived through it!!

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