Virgin Body Slam (Guest Post by my 7yo)

(Long lead in but worth it, I swear.)

I have 4 children.  Two boys, ages 7 and 6 and two girls, ages 5 and 3.  The boys are best friends and the girls are best friends and they all get along extremely well.  My husband and I are spoiled.

SOMETIMES, however, the boys forget that my 5yo is only 5.  Yesterday afternoon was one of those times.  The kids were all playing in the basement playroom when my daughter started SCREAMING and CRYING.  My husband, the SAHD, ran down to comfort her and find out what happened.  Apparently my 7yo had checked her into a set of shelves.  My husband told my son to be more careful

Less that 5 MINUTES LATER the same daughter was SCREAMING AND CRYING again.  I should note here that she almost NEVER cries so she was very hurt.

It turns out that my 7yo had thrown his sneaker and it had hit her full in the eye.  Her eye was streaming water (hm, could have been tears) and her face was very red.

We sent him to his room and told him that as his punishment he would miss his baseball game on Wed.

When he found out that he was going to miss the game he got really sorry, really fast.  He told me that he had made me a Mother's Day present but that he no longer wanted to give it to me.

I told him that I was sorry he felt that way but that I was his sister's mother too and that I needed to protect her - even if the person hurting her was one of my other children.

I told him that I would not always be around and that I expected him to take care of his siblings - that that was his responsibility as the big brother.

He seemed to understand and I felt bad about making him miss his game so I told him that if he wrote a FULL PAGE essay on what it means to be a big brother, we would consider letting him go to the game.

This is his essay:

I May Be Big BUT I'm a big brother and I shoudn't hurt anyone at all Because like I said before I'm the Big Brother here and I don't hurt anyone.

I should hit a Ball, run, open a can, preteckt them.  When I get older I will tech them to drive a car, cook egg, make beans, introuduce my friend Derek and not to hurt anyone!  I hated to hurt M at all!  I'm sorry I did my Virgen Body Slam and my shoe in the face thing.  I will not do it again I mean ever!

I am sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, VERY SORRY. I'm grateful I didn't pop your eye out.

The 27 sorrys got him to the bottom of the page.  The essay got him to the baseball game.

Comments

[Bee]

Frame it. And then display it proudly at his 21st.

[Kim]

Must remember this parenting technique!

[buzzvibe]

Sounds as though he really is sorry. I'm glad he redeemed himself and got to play in his game. :)

Kids (or maybe it's just boys) don't seem to know their own strength at that age. I have a 9 year old and soon-to-be 6 year old, and it amazes me the destruction and damage they can do.

[Garrett]

Awesome! Definitely laminate and save it. Then next time, and don't kid yourself there WILL be a next time, you can whip out the Virgen Body Slam card.

"See? I have it right here IN WRITING. Now go teach your sister to MAKE BEANS while momma has another Gimlet."

When he gets married, give it to his betrothed so that she can pass on the love.

[El]

That's awesome!
I've made mine (8, 10, and 15... boys) write lines, but an entire essay... I love the idea and I'mma poach it from ya!
We recently lifted the "no hitting" rule at our house because 8 and 10 fight (names, teasing, hiding stuff, threats, tattling, etc..) SO much that I'm trading my sanity for a referee's job and I'm finished! I figured if 10 bullied 8 and got socked in the mouth for it, 10 might be a little less likely to think he rules the roost. _shrug & sigh_

[CDG]

I think my comment got eaten. Boo.

I suggested you have his sister read it at his wedding.

[Jerseygirl]

My favorite sentence is the last one - that's priceless.

[My Momma Drama]

Aww - that is sweet. I would save it to show to him when he gets older - ooo... I like the wedding idea, I would cry buckets if that happened with my kids at one of their weddings.

[Amy Phillips]

27 'sorry's- That's gotta be a record.

[AlexanderDope]

That makes even a curmudgeon like me smile. I especially liked "shoe in the face thing". I think I'll try this out sometime. My 6yo just wrote his first story by himself this week, so he's probably ready. Plus my latest discipline hammer is busted.

The 6yo caught Super Nanny on some cable channel a couple of weeks ago and was HORRIFIED that kids' misbehavior could be shown to the world on TV. Threatening to invite Supper Nanny over worked like a charm a few times.

He's since decided that it would actually be fun to be on TV and that Super Nanny is his ticket. So now when he misbehaves he asks, with his voice full of hope, "Are you gonna call Super Nanny?" Time to try the essay. Thanks Kit.

[MommyLisa]

sorry sorry sorry...Virgen Body Slam???

[Diane]

Oh my goodness, how sweet! "Virgin Body Slam" is still the funniest line. Thanks for sharing his apology note!

[Deanna E. Hernandez-Arza]

Yes...you need to frame this essay and your son is cute

[Adrienne]

I LIKE that kid. You and yours will never lack for properly prepared eggs and beans. Huevos rancheros for everyone!

[The Vibrator (non)Virgin]

Happy Mother's Day, Kit! You are awesome! I hope you hae a great day!

[subWOW]

He's planning to introduce Derek to M. Just make a note of it, mom. And keep your eyes on them.

[Mim]

Lol - that is too funny. I can absolutely seeing my son do and write the exact same letter.... too cute, thanks for sharing.

[Susan-LiseVintageLighting]

I am a BIG fan of the essay to help kids express thanks or regret, organize their thoughts in order to lobby or persuade. and I have kept every one, much to the disdain of my husband and daughters. I recently discovered just how glad I was to have hoarded all of those "souvenirs" from their childhood!

We are getting ready to move and I have been packing things up, including the photo/momento boxes. While home for a visit just before the start of the semester, my once-challenging child and now much-loved, 20-year-old-child-psych-major-know-it-all gave me a hand with packing the momento boxes. Reading, and laughing, our way together through some of those essays was priceless on so many levels! They included her essay telling her younger sister she would "Really, Really" try to treat her sister as she would like to be treated even though her sister could be "Really Really" annoying; (as 6 y-o who planned to grow up to be a scientist, still cocky from having placed in her school Science Fair) her dictated compare/contrast essay on why it is perfectly acceptable to mash up holly berries and leaves and a dash of A-1 Sauce when PRETENDING to be a "rain forest scientist" who discovers cures for all sorts of incurable diseases, but NOT OK to test her hypothesis by smearing her newly-discovered wonder drug on little sister's soccer skinned-knee to observe its curative effects...(unexpected effects--stained green skin and urgent calls to Poison Control!); her lobbying essay to list all of the reasons why we should consider her mature enough to babysit other people's children...; her lobbying essay, while a grounded adolescent who would coincidentally be missing her best friend's slumber party, attempting to persuade us that her current grounding should be suspended for the weekend and then resumed the following week so that she served "every single day," since it really was not fair to her father and I to have to stay home with her when we had plans of our own...; and more...

It was completely worth having held on to each and every photo and essay in order to to observe the humbling transformation of my 20-year-old-child-psych-major-wait-maybe-I really-don't-know-it-all to wisely realize how little she knew... As for Mother and Daughter, it was a precious moment we still talk about and hold dear!

Sorry this is so long! Kind of came rushing out!!

[resume writing jobs]

Sounds as admitting he absolutely is sorry. I'm animated he adored himself and got to play in his game. :)

Kids (or maybe it's just boys) don't assume to apperceive their own backbone at that age. I accept a 9 year old and -to-be 6 year old, and it amazes me the abolition and accident they can do.