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May 04, 2010

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Bee

SWAT teams... ATF... guns in the bedroom.

You sure you don't live on a strange religious commune (where sex is so good I'm thinking of joining) somewhere?

Bee

Oh dear, I have to stop twitterstalking you... I keep getting here first

Shaina

Awwww,the poor bat. it was probably scared out of its mind!

if a bat ever got into my house, i would probably try and make it my pet. i'm weird like that.

Kim

Best. Story. Ever!! Cannot stop laughing!!

Diane

Your stories kill me! hahaha I would have been hiding under the covers the entire time! Forget being brave and being a team player!
And your husband continues to amuse me! lol

Deanna Hernandez-Arza

LOL...I truly love reading your blog..

kristen

Bwahhh haaa haaa!!!
Wait... not even a little *spooning* afterward? I'm also waiting to hear HOW the HELL a BAT GOT INSIDE the house in the first place?!??

Brittany

I just died laughing. Dead. Completely deceased.

Jenny Keller

OH MY GOSH! How scary!I am pretty sure we would have had to call a professional to come handle the problem. Like Billy the Exterminator - have you seen that show? I would totally have called him.

You are a very gifted storyteller my friend. You make me laugh so hard that I think I am going to pee my pants!Thanks for the daily laughs!

Suz

You cannot make shit like this up. Freaking hysterical. Strangely, the part that made me laugh hardest was the thought of your big burly husband shrieking like an old lady. See? That has me in giggles yet again.

Kristin

Good times! I grew up in the country, lots of bats and critters in our house. Bats are actually kinda cute. They have an amazing sense of direction, they will come close but won't ever actually hit you. I've done some bat studies, I have a soft spot for them.

Bree

OH MY GOD!! FWAP!!! that was too fucking funny! i know who not to call if there is ever a bat in the house.. YOU!!!! LOL

Poppy Marler

Game little filly ... Your blog is the talk of the town and your identity has been leaked, but only to the animal kingdom. The bat was on a stealth mission to really find out the kinky shit that goes on inside your bedroom and sadly you were just sleeping. On the plus side I do hear there is a rumored twitpic of your Ladyparts.

CDG

We had bat in bedroom drama, too.

http://rubysu87.blogspot.com/2007/08/bat-in-box-fan-and-other-stories.html

Thank god Mark doesn't arm himself with anything scarier than a homemade baseball bat!

Wait. That *is* pretty scary...

MommyLisa

OMG. I was laughing.

Alicia aka MyBusyMind

OMG, that's good stuff right there. Thanks for the laugh.

buzzvibe

Sorry you had to go through that, but your story had me laughing from start to finish! I hate bats. They creep me out. When I worked with horses we had a hayloft full of the bastards. *shudder*

Jennifer @ three pugs & a baby

I laughed. And then, because I have had too much wine, I cried. But it was funny crying.

It reminds me of the time I tried to go to the bathroom and lifted the lid and there was a tree frog in the bowl.

A mean, vicious, killer tree frog.

And I cursed loudly. And DH screamed like a girl and ran away. But he doesn't have a gun because he's not really handy that way and would probably shoot himself in the naughty bits.

And then I ran outside and found my neighbor and made him come take care of it.

And he caught it in a plastic shopping bag like Mr. Miyagi and took it outside, and then I couldn't use that toilet bowl ever again.

The end.

Skywaitress

LOL! That is so hilarious. A friend of our family had a bat fly into her vent once and get hurt. What else could we do but take it in and care for it until it got better? Definitely the weirdest temporary pet we every had (I'm pretty sure). In case you were wondering, they're suuuper soft.

NermalTheHun

That is freakin hilarious, and wow! that brings back memories.
I was awakened in the middle of the night (bedroom in basement next to the rec room) to find a bat had flown down the chimney to the basement and was flying around the light fixture. Jammies-clad kid runs upstairs: "Dad! There's a bat in the basement!" "Mmmph. Grab the fishing net and a record album, catch it in the net, slip the album cover under to trap it, and let it loose outside. Zzzzzz".
I almost had a heart attack at 13 when it slipped through the wide-weave net and went back to flying around the ceiling. Later I caught my breath, and caught IT in the fine-weave net and took it outside. To see the poor little thing laying there stunned on the edge of the ditch where I dumped it, with its little chest heaving ferociously and too afraid to move almost brought me to tears. It was gone a few minutes later when I went back to check on it. I assume it wasn't eaten by anything.
To this day I can't help but smile when I chance to see a bat fly past in the night.

mahmeeee

exciting!! maybe that bat likes the women that goes commando in bed.

Tricia

omg You have me dying over here! So freakin' funny.

Sally Megan

My ex used to sleep with a gun under the mattress too. That in no way actually relates to the mouse incident I was going to relate which includes my mother, my sister and myself in the farmhouse I was renting with mice running around the room and my sister and mother standing on the dining room table shrieking at the top of their lungs.
But I changed my mind about telling you because it would take too long, suffice to say I would never survive if I had to live off mice and thank the universe my dining table was sturdy.
And also, thanks for making me paranoid about bats. Every noise I hear now, I'll be thinking "is that a bat?". And I live on my own WITHOUT WEAPONS.

Suniverse

When my husband and I were dating, I was at his place and we were having relations and a bat came FLYING IN THROUGH THE FUCKING WINDOW. At the time, I had butt length thick curly hair. I didn't even TRY to do anything but hide under the covers.

My husband and one of his housemates got tennis rackets and knocked that fucker down. So I'm told. I didn't come out until the coast was clear.

If I recall correctly, we may have resumed relations. We were younger then. And had more energy.

Hannah

It took me way too long to realize that you meant an animal.

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