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April 26, 2010


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Deanna Hernandez-Arza

Awesome advice...variety keeps things interesting

Deanna Hernandez-Arza

I think one trick pony should reassure her husband that their sex life is good and trying new stuff will only add to it.

Kristin Glasbergen

Great advice.

Just Another Mother

Very good advice! And for the record, I don't think you're "out there" in regards to sex. You simply talk about it, where as most people don't. Not vanilla, just a little spicy. And that's a very good thing.

Real Dads Hangout

I think from a man's point of view (but not this man!), many guys have trouble experimenting with certain things because they feel they are disrespecting their wife and/or the mother of their children. Some men feel certain acts/situations should not be shared with someone they love and respect.

I don't understand it because when it comes to me and my wife...it is whatever we feel at the time but I have had friends say they cannot do this or that with their wives because they respect them.

crazycajun in texas

Vanilla? You? I was hanging out with friends last night & found out that one of the gals has a hyper-sensitivity to the word "pussy". It was like the word caused her physical pain! So no, vanilla you ain't!

Regarding the one trick pony's question: when he says those things have no place between a husband and wife, she should ask him who she should try them with!


I could BE one trick pony, and I can tell you that your advice sounds like it could work, but I have a VERY stubborn horse.

It's a good thing I stumbled on this blog during single sex week.


Oh poor her... I'd hate to be a one-trick-pony.

I think that it's only natural for a husband and wife to explore each other's bodies. And to want to.

I am very comfortable sexually and have experimented a little in the past, and can't honestly understand that someone wouldn't want to do something with someone they love. If you love someone enough to marry them... I'd assume you love them enough to trust them too. And assuming it's not a completely bizarre request, it's worth trying.

I know I tried something that as a youngster I'd emphatically claimed I would NEVER do... and was a rapid convert. Tell him to try... and if he still doesn't like it, well fair enough. But you should never say never...

Deepest Dark Secrets

One trick pony,

I agree with Kit, start slowly.

Buy some cocoa butter oil (or any kind of body oil) and take a shower, and then poor it all over yourself. Go to your bed all wet and slippery when Huz is in the bed. He will love your slippery body and won't be able to resist! Plus you will smell delicious!

If it is playful and loving he will relax into it. If you bring a giant vibrating dildo to bed and tell him to use it on you, he will freak out! Eventually you can bring in toys! For now have fun with finding playful ways! Enjoy!

Todd 'tojosan' Jordan

Spot on about change. Appetites change, it's part of maturing.
Bonus for starting small. Gentle touching outside the bedroom is a good way to raise the interest w/out seeming to be too out of bounds.

I'm still working towards getting my wife to blog with me. We'll be celebrating our 26th anniversary tomorrow and I feel we have a wee bit of advice and stories we could share. Pls feel free to bug her - @nanna_j. I'm @tojosan.

Miss Ash

Better to try variety with the one you love than to try variety elsewhere... just sayin...


I've been married almost three years and we have been way, way vanilla about it. Recently my husband moved for his new job, and I had to stay behind for three months to finish out my job. I was hoping we'd talk about our sex life while apart, it took 2.5 months, but we finally started talking honestly about it.

For us it has helped to write about it (email/chat). It feels less intimidating to have time to think about what we want to say and consider our responses. It's also helped for us to talk about really out there stuff that we don't actually want to do, but are interesting in theory (ie. public sex). It is absolutely clear to both of us that we love one another, and will stay together even if we stayed vanilla.... but talking about options has been great! and we got in a lot of experimenting the last time we visited in person ;) It really didn't feel like a high pressure situation because we just wanted to have fun and see what happened from there.

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