In the early days of Nantucket, when the men were often away for years at a time on whaling voyages, they would carve phallic offerings to their wives out of whale bone. These toys, called "he's at home" sustained their wives during their long absences. (I'm sure there was some hot girl-on-girl action too but they didn't cover that on the museum tour.)
Thank goodness we've moved past whale carcasses.
Earlier this week when I was shopping for vibrators here (Use coupon code Sexy8 for free shipping and half off!) I learned that "vibrator" is the term for any sex toy that, well, vibrates but that they come in a whole host of shapes, sizes and even have some specialized features.
My personal favorite is the vibrating egg. It's large enough to get the job done but small enough to go where you want it and not get in the way.
If you're in the market for a vibrator, I would recommend that you consider the following:
1) Function.
You might think that this is obvious, but an 8" toy can be a little unwieldy at times and a 2.5" egg can be a little "lacking" at others. You may need two.
2) Waterproof.
Even if you don't have a penchant for strangers' hot tubs you'll want to wash this baby.
3) Battery.
Some of the sleeker toys take watch batteries which are expensive, hard to find and not very powerful. Plus even if you find them at your local Ace Hardware, it's not going to take them long to figure out what's going on. You only wear one watch. Go for a toy that takes AA or AAA. (There make rechargeable ones, but they're expensive!)
4) Sociability.
Remember these things aren't just for use by yourself. They can certainly "augment" an otherwise healthy relationship. Just remember that you MAY feel more comfortable pulling it out if you decide against the 12" extra large, glow-in-the-dark purple neon model.
5) Read the Customer Reviews.
Sometimes when you're aroused the product reviews are pretty convincing. They're supposed to be. Make sure you read the customer reviews before you buy.
This concludes our public service announcement. We now return to our regular programming. Unless you're all too busy shopping for vibrators to pay attention.
Wait...what did you say? I'm too busy buying a vibrating egg. Which makes me think of Easter. Which then makes me think I am going to hell. Tomorrow.
Posted by: Pauline | April 01, 2010 at 12:59 PM
umh an egg eh? I just got a blow fish. LOL you are hilarious! I gotta check out the egg on easter perhaps?
Posted by: supermomplace | April 01, 2010 at 02:50 PM
This isn't a joke, I once saw a vibrating egg that actually said on the packaging "discreet enough for use any time any place!!"
I guess if anyone enquired as to what that constant humming noise was you could just claim you were receiving a lot of text messages... or something...
Posted by: Jo | April 01, 2010 at 03:04 PM
Everyone's buying eggs. Including me! Thanks for the coupon. You're awesome.
Posted by: Lori | April 05, 2010 at 06:29 AM
totes using this coupon. thanks, lady! good tips, good tips.
Posted by: mylittlebecky | April 07, 2010 at 10:40 PM
Thank goodness! A coupon! AND a recommedation! Squeee!
I'm shopping....kthxbye
Posted by: Darthsunshine | April 12, 2010 at 11:57 PM
Coupon still worked for me in the wee hours this morning. After insurance the total was still <$15. I think that may get me off right there!
Posted by: Rachel | May 21, 2010 at 10:48 PM